Overcoming The Emotional Job Search Rollercoaster

Your career is self-centered.

I don't mean that you are selfish—or that you are only looking out for numero uno.

No. What I mean is, you spend 40+ hours working every week. If you're not whole-heartedly invested in your work, you're replaced. Somebody else will be.

Hell, for many of us, particularly in the ultra-competitive environments of San Francisco, Seattle, New York and others, 40 hours of work is a vacation.

You have to be self-centered just to survive.

The overload of work taxes your emotional wellbeing, financial and economic stressors, and overall mental capacity. Not to mention family expectations or pressure that we put on ourselves—such as keeping up with the proverbial Joneses.

"Really Barbara?! Another damn Tesla?!"

Finding the right job and maintaining it for any relevant period of time without greying, missing your kids growing up, or skipping straight to an early grave is stressful enough.

Now let's do it again.

What society doesn't always realize is: Looking for work is incredibly isolating.

Nobody understands your career like you do. Well, maybe your colleagues, but it's not like you can talk to them about leaving. That wouldn't fly.

Your spouse and family? No, they may understand the high level and emotional impact you face—but rarely the details that you wrestle with day in and day out.

How about a career coach! That's the answer! Okay, but $300 an hour for career strategy can devolve into therapy sessions instead of actionable takeaways if you don't find the right fit—and the transactional nature of the relationship is too coin operated to feel any bit validating. (This coming from an executive coach, you need to be mindful here!)

That leaves you.

You self-centered job seeker you. What are you going to do about it?

Find a great job opportunity online... Polish the resume, try to figure out how LinkedIn helps anyone but marketers and spammers, take a crack at a cover letter, apply online...... okay the application reset and jacked up my resume... Refresh, try again. Okay this is dumb but I have the application in.

Wait..

Wait....

Take clothes to dry cleaner. Buy Crest White Strips. Eat a salad. Wink at yourself in mirror. Think about going to a conference to network. Pass. Drag your butt back into the job you hate. Look at yourself in the mirror with disgust.

Keep waiting...

Wait some more...

"Thank you for applying for our Vice President of Marketing role. We are very fortunate to have had several qualified candidates apply. Unfortunately for you, it wasn't you. Bye bye."

That's it... I put a few hours into that application. I was a perfect fit! Do you think they looked my application? Did a robot just say I wasn't qualified? Am I too old? Too young? Did 500 other people really apply for this role?! There's 500 people as qualified as me? Maybe my resume is the problem, I never been a gud writer.

Alright. I'll try again.

Try again 5 times. Try again 20 times. More?!

Yes, interview rates on outbound applications has plummeted to 5%. FIVE PERCENT

If that much rejection doesn't shake your confidence, then I don't know what will.

To overcome the emotional rollercoaster of a modern job search you must:

• Invest in self-awareness and reflection. Understand what drives you. Is it compensation? Job title? Flexible work? More time with your family? Maybe a home with a yard? Finding the right balance is the key to understanding what work will truly fulfill you.
• Don't take it personal. Employers (especially the best ones) are flooded with job applications. A majority of applicants are under qualified and they have to either have a robot sift through the crap—or do it by hand. And let me ask you, how long would you look at an application if you had 2 hours to sift through 500+? That's what I thought. You can't take it personal, because it's likely that a human never had a chance to get to know you.
• Understand your value. There is nothing holding you back from getting the next step in your career or a better role. You can argue time or knowledge—but there are resources for you. You can argue that your past experience doesn't apply, your role wasn't prominent, you don't have a Masters, the company you have been with is small, you job hop too much, you are too old, too fat, too young, too whatever... This is holding you back. Your diverse experience does matter if you play to your strengths. You are valuable to somebody somewhere—you just have to find them.
• Define your career story. If you don't like something about your past experience—change it. Talk about it a different way. Don't point the finger at past employers or circumstances that didn't go your way; share responsibility. You don't have to overly embellish your skills, but you don't have to share all the details either. You next job isn't about your past, it's about whether or not you can do the next tasks well. Period.
• Get smart. I know what you're thinking. "Gee Jacob, you patronizing fool. Appreciate the tip." Hear me out. To find success in this hyper competitive job market you need a competitive advantage. Don't just apply for jobs—research your competition, research their competition, research their employees, research their press, company culture, hiring managers—more. Be exhaustive. Be relentless. Reach out to people, get rejected, ignored, blocked—whatever. (Be tactful, not obnoxious but I'm making a point.) This is your career and you need to get after it. DO MORE.
• Apply for jobs you don't want—and go to interviews you don't care about. Yeah, this is rude and compounds the problem we discussed early for employers. But this article isn't about employers, it's about you—and you my friend, you need the practice. When you don't care about the end result, you can practice more confidently. You can screw up and recover. You can experiment with negotiation techniques, asking for what you really want, be arrogant, be modest—find your groove. Additionally, you may find that you actually like the role and get confused. Better to have the option at opportunity than no option at all. Good problem to have, I say.
• Stay motivated. Stay confident. You need to smile at rejection. That just means you're one rejection closer to yes. You're lapping everyone stuck commuting to a job they hate, because you're doing something about it.

Ultimately, your career is in your hands and if you can conquer the emotional rollercoaster of this chaos, you can accelerate towards a more fulfilling career.

About The Author 

Jacob is the CEO of Discover Podium—a career services company that helps professionals accelerate their career.

He is passionate about helping people market themselves and navigate modern job search challenges to find their most fulfilling career.