Overcoming doubts to celebrate the small steps to 7,000m

In four weeks, I’ll be heading to beautiful Nepal for a mountain expedition where I hope to climb 7,000m to reach the summit of Himlung Himal. This mountain is in a remote part of Nepal which was only open to foreigners just over 30 years ago and the descriptions and photos sound and look stunning.

It will be, I hope, an amazing trip but I also know it will be challenging. I’ll be away from my husband, family and friends for four weeks, with more limited connectivity than I’ve had on previous trips, bringing an increased sense of isolation. It will be tough terrain for me, using crampons, ice axes and ropes for the time on the mountain itself. It will be cold (and I’m not good with the cold in the UK!). And the altitude will make it much harder to breathe!

Many of my wonderful family, friends and colleagues have asked me how I am feeling about it and how the preparations are going.? I’m so grateful for their support and I want to be able to share my journey with those that are kind and generous enough to be interested. There’s a short answer to those questions, which is that I’m nervous but excited and the preparations are going well. As ever, the short answer doesn’t tell the full story and so I thought I’d try and answer it here.

So, how are the preparations going? As anyone who knows me won’t be surprised to hear, I have a lot of lists of things to do to make sure I’m as prepared as I can be! I have had lists on training, kit purchasing, logistical matters, preparations for being away from home and work and preparations for coming back.

Many of the items on my lists have now been ticked off. I’ve bought my kit (my favourite purchase being heated insoles for my mountaineering boots!). I’ve prepared for being away - the house is full of the cards and presents for the events I’m missing and I’m catching up with as many people as I can before I go.

My training continues. And is hard work. I’m currently running almost daily, doing long hikes with a weighted rucksack, going to the gym, spending an hour a day on an altitude machine and sleeping in an altitude ‘head tent’ which reduces the level of oxygen that I breathe in. All alongside a busy career I love and trying (and no doubt often failing) to support my wonderful husband, family and friends in their dreams.

So, I’m trying to do as much as I can, in the time I have, to be prepared. And, how am I feeling?

I am excited. I am nervous. I am daunted. I am determined. I’m trying to enjoy each moment, each step that takes me to 7,000m.

A week ago, I spent a fantastic weekend in beautiful Chamonix, hiking up (and down, always the worst part for me given my fears of drops) mountains for hours. I was with a wonderful guide who has been coaching me over the last four years and helping to build my confidence in the mountains. We talked about the importance of celebrating the small milestones. We can all be focused on the overall aim, in this case standing on top of the summit, but that can sometimes feel overwhelming and out of reach. And how will we feel if that aim isn’t achieved? Whilst I’m doing everything I can to be ready to aim for the summit, I can’t control the weather or how my body reacts to the altitude.

We should therefore celebrate the small steps that take us towards the summit. Each run I do, each hike I do with my weighted backpack, every bruise I get from climbing (!) takes me closer. Last weekend, I got through four days of being in the mountains without falling over, which was a major achievement! I also managed to enjoy coming downhill!

I’m also enjoying the journey to get to Nepal.? For my previous two visits to Nepal, the company I’ve gone with has arranged the visa for me. This time, I wanted to do that myself. It’s part of getting myself ready. Sitting in a very basic room in a stunning old mansion, which is the Nepalese Embassy, I was surrounded by Nepalese and UK travellers. Everyone there had visited Nepal before and was excited to be heading back. It’s an incredibly special country and as I sat and listened to others, I felt immensely privileged to be going back. I walked out holding my passport tightly, with its visa stamp, excited about what lies ahead.

Alongside the excitement, I have moments of doubts. Am I being selfish in following this dream? Have I done enough to mitigate the risks of this type of environment and come home safely? Sometimes I wonder why on earth I’m doing this. But I don’t wonder for long, because then I remember.

I remember the beauty of the mountains, the?sense of perspective they bring, the way I learn so much about myself by pushing way beyond what I ever thought was possible and the joy of having achieved something special and then returning home to something even more special.

So, that’s the longer answer to the kind questions that people are asking me. Thank you all for your wonderful support - it makes a huge difference and I appreciate it so much. I’ll keep you updated as I continue to take small steps towards 7,000m.