Overcoming Decision Inertia & Avoiding the Backfire effect.

In my work as a consultant and as the GM for Business Transformation, I have learnt that getting people to make decisions can we the hardest part of the job as you need patience and you need to build trust and a connection with your client.

We are all in the influence game, be it our job as a sales person, manager change agent or as a parent, partner or friend.

?The Default Decision is the status quo or do nothing.

We all hate to change our minds once we have made a decision.

Making Decisions is emotionally and mentally taxing.

Guiding people or helping people to make a decision or reconsider takes patience and effort as we are rarely swayed by rational arguments.

We all like to think we are rational and good at making decisions.

People are complex, we make decisions not on “facts” and rational thinking but on “gut instinct, biases, perspectives and how we see things, our beliefs, values and identity and self-image. Once a decision is made, we are reluctant to change as it requires us to admit we might have been wrong to others (desire to appear consistent and right) and to ourselves (the mind deceives itself).

We are driven by a need for autonomy and to belief that we are right (confirmation bias). Telling people, they are wrong will result in the backfire effect and harden their stance.

Even when people are asked would they have lived differently or made other choices in hindsight most people they would do it again. (but then we are born to repeat it again and again).

Wise people should reevaluate their decisions in the light of new information or changing circumstances but stick with the familiar is more comfortable.

Why?

We struggle with change and prefer consistency, even when change is logically warranted.

We stick to decisions even when circumstances change because:

·?????? Sunk cost fallacy - People feel invested in a decision because of the time, money, or effort already spent on it. So, they feel compelled to continue rather than "waste" those resources by changing course.

·?????? Confirmation bias - People tend to look for and interpret information in a way that confirms their existing beliefs and decisions. This makes it hard to objectively evaluate when a change is needed.

·?????? Status quo bias - People prefer to keep things the way they are rather than make a change, even if a change would improve things. Change represents uncertainty and risk.

·?????? Ego or pride - Admitting a decision was wrong may be a blow to someone's self-image. People may stick to a choice to avoid admitting failure or imperfection.

·?????? Fear of unknown - The prospect of changing may seem daunting or intimidating. The current path at least represents the comfort of the familiar.

·?????? Sunk cost in relationships - People may continue business or personal relationships even when problematic to avoid wasted time building it.

·?????? Lack of process - Without a formal process to review and change course if needed, momentum continues unchallenged.

Formal review processes, objective advice, and weighing sunk costs rationally can help override the inertia.

How to get people to re-evaluate their decision.

·????? Make it feel like evolution vs. revolution - a natural iteration rather than scrapping everything and starting over. Patience and subtle persuasion over time can work better than frontal attack.

·????? Present new information objectively. Don't criticize the original decision, just demonstrate factually why new information merits a re-think.

·????? Appeal to their rational side. Remind them that sticking rigidly to a plan that isn't working isn't logical. Frame changing course as an optimization or correction.

·????? Give them an "out" to save face. Say you understand why the original decision made sense at the time with what was known.

·????? Ask collaborative questions. "What could we do differently going forward?" vs. "You should do this."

·????? Allow them to take credit for changing course. Say you know how seriously they take their decisions, and their willingness to adapt shows strength.

·????? Emphasize it's a one-off fix, not a total reversal. Say you think the overall strategy/plan is sound, but this specific aspect needs revisiting.

·????? Propose it as a "trial run" or experiment. Just changing course for a short period to test the waters can be less threatening than a permanent switch.

·????? Have someone they respect make the case for change. Rather than you are pushing for a change, have a mentor or colleague they look up to broach it.

The Psychology of Persuasion

Introduce the idea subtly, let them marinate on it independently, and make them feel smart for eventually getting there themselves. With patience, you can often get someone to organically embrace an idea.

Ideas are more powerful if they think of it, guide them so that they arrive at the conclusion themselves.

Make them feel like it was their idea by:

·?????? Use open-ended questions to draw out their thoughts on the current situation. Let them voice their own concerns, which seeds the idea something should change.

·?????? When presenting a new idea, frame it as building off what they've already said. "Based on your concerns about X, what if we tried..."

·?????? Present the idea hypothetically or as brainstorming. "I had a random thought - just throwing this out there..." This makes it less pushy.

·?????? Flatter them as you propose it. "With your leadership skills and insight, I bet you've already considered..."

·?????? Give them space - After presenting the idea, remain silent. Don't tout all its merits. Let the person mentally mull it over.

·?????? If they reshape the idea or take it in a different direction, don't fight it. Let them mould it into their own.

·?????? Once they've come around, reinforce their feelings of ownership. "Sarah, looks like pivoting marketing is your call after all."

·?????? Avoid saying "I told you so" later. Give them all the credit for the idea and for making the savvy decision.

·?????? Attribute some inspiration to them. "This solution builds on the foundational points you raised originally."

Re-examining beliefs.

Some ideas are very tightly connected with people’s beliefs and self-identity.

These beliefs often attach to a person's self-identity. Use patience, subtlety, and indirect means over time to reframe rigid beliefs.

The goal is opening a door to new possibilities, not forcing a change.

·?????? Appeal to their core values and show how a new belief may better align with values like compassion, integrity, or curiosity.

·?????? Don’t them they're wrong, suggest alternative perspectives to consider.

·?????? Avoid arguing or telling them their belief is irrational. This tends to make people defensive and dig in deeper.

·?????? Use analogies or stories to subtly show a different viewpoint about their belief.

·?????? Emphasize you're not criticizing them as a person, just examining ideas. Separate ego from beliefs.

·?????? Don't force it. If they exhibit strong resistance, back off and try again later to plant seeds of new thoughts.

·?????? Enlist someone they respect and trust to discuss and model examining one's own beliefs.

·?????? Praise instances where they display open-mindedness, however minor. Positive reinforcement works.

·?????? Examine your own beliefs too. Be willing to admit when you've changed your mind on something. Model openness.

Be authentic and trustworthy.

It is important that you don’t come across as inauthentic and untrustworthy.

The key signs are misalignment between words and deeds, inconsistency, taking credit without merit, and insincerity. Authenticity builds trust over time through transparency, honesty, and reliability.

Behaviours and actions that undermine this are:

·?????? Lying or exaggerating about accomplishments, skills, experiences.

·?????? Saying one thing to some people and something different to others. Lacking consistency.

·?????? Hypocritical behaviour that contradicts their stated values.

·?????? Expressing emotions that seem simulated rather than genuinely felt.

·?????? Frequently shifting stances or positions for apparent self-gain.

·?????? Giving insincere praise or compliments that don't align with actions.

·?????? Feigning interest, concern, or enthusiasm rather than being upfront.

·?????? Breaking promises or not following through on stated commitments.

·?????? Hiding or obscuring negative information rather than being transparent.

·?????? Blaming others for own mistakes or taking credit for others' work.

·?????? Excessive self-promotion or arrogance about abilities and talents.

·?????? Sharing personal details about others without their consent. Breaking confidences.

·?????? Saying yes to things without meaning it to avoid confrontation or please others.

·?????? Major inconsistencies between public persona vs. private life.

·?????? Rationalizing or justifying questionable behaviour rather than taking responsibility.

Making people more receptive to new ideas:

·?????? Create psychological safety. Make it clear people can offer ideas without judgment or risk to their status.

·?????? Set expectations. Let people know you welcome innovation and new perspectives. Reward those who do.

·?????? Ask open-ended questions. "What do you think about this process?" instead of closed questions assumes you have the answer.

·?????? Be curious. Avoid quick judgment of new ideas. Explore them with interest first.

·?????? Allow debate respectfully. Let people voice pros and cons without shutting them down.

·?????? Separate idea generation from evaluation. Brainstorm freely first, then analyse later.

·?????? Clarify implementation isn't immediate. New ideas can be scary. Explain there's a process before any change.

·?????? Show how an idea ties to key goals/values. Appeal to motivations like profit, customer satisfaction, efficiency.

·?????? Use data. Statistics, surveys, and forecasts make it easier to consider information objectively.

·?????? Leverage peer influence. If well-respected team members model openness, others will follow.

·?????? Reward receptivity. Praise those who demonstrate open-mindedness and contribution of new ideas.

The key is making people feel psychologically safe to think differently while also appealing to their logic and motivations. This takes patience but can create huge rewards.

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Changing Perceptions

What we think we see is really an amalgam of:

·????? what is out there,

·????? how we feel about,

Context and environment shapes our thinking and actions.? Even the youtube or facebook that pops up in your feed shapes our unconscious mind.

When a friend tells us they went to see Dune, your mind makes a note and decision about going to see it.

what we see, our conversations with others, about what we see. And so on.

?Attention, memory, and emotion, all play a role in shaping what we notice and what we fail to observe.

Our perceptions are influenced by many factors beyond objective reality. Helping people see things more clearly despite those biases takes patience and care. Here are some suggestions:

·?????? Ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective without judgment. Don't assume you see things more clearly.

·?????? Present contradictory information gently. Our brains tend to reject facts that don't fit our narrative. Find common ground first.

·?????? Discuss the role of individual psychology and experiences in shaping worldviews. We all have biases.

·?????? Note where emotions may be clouding judgment - but don't dismiss them as invalid. Acknowledge feelings.

·?????? Appeal to their core values and identity. Show how a broader perspective aligns with who they aspire to be.

·?????? Use analogies and stories to subtly present alternative viewpoints. Don't confront directly.

·?????? Remind them that everyone falls prey to limited perspectives. We can all benefit from wider inputs.

·?????? Suggest taking time to reflect before reacting. Slowing down helps clear emotion or knee-jerk biases.

·?????? Propose small experiments in considering other angles. Don't expect huge shifts overnight.

·?????? Model openness yourself. Admit instances where your view has changed based on new information.

With care and empathy, you can expand someone's perspective without putting them on the defensive. But real change often happens incrementally over time. Patience and understanding are key.

Avoiding Defensiveness – Preparation.

The polyvagal framework provides helpful perspective on how our minds interact with our bodies, especially under threat or stress. Careful application of its insights can aid persuasion.

The polyvagal theory can potentially be applied to help persuade people to change their mind in the following ways:

·?????? Create psychological and physical safety - If someone feels unsafe or threatened, their ventral vagal system will trigger defensive immobilization behaviours. Make sure conversations happen in environments where they feel secure.

·?????? Establish rapport and trust - Positive social engagement via the ventral vagal pathway is needed before any change can occur. Build connection and trust by active listening, respect, and finding common ground.

·?????? Appeal to their values - Link the change of mindset to values or identities they hold dear. Show how it aligns authentically. This boosts internal motivation.

·?????? Be patient - Moving out of immobilization states takes time. Don't force the pace. Let the nervous system gradually adapt to new possibilities.

·?????? Monitor nonverbals - Pay attention to any physiological cues of anxiety or entry into fight-flight-freeze responses. Adjust if needed.

·?????? Use vagal techniques - Deep breathing, eye contact, and peaceful settings can stimulate ventral vagal calm and receptivity.

·?????? Reframe defensiveness - Don't shame it. Explain it's a natural response when core beliefs are challenged. Normalize it.

·?????? Allow small incremental steps - Don't expect a 180 degree flip overnight. Small cognitive shifts acclimatize the nervous system.

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