Overcoming Burnout: Lessons Learned and Steps Towards Recovery

I wrote this in December 2023 when I was struggling with burnout. I am sharing it now hoping that someone will feel less alone.

For a while, my mantra was "You can do it all!" I tried to embody this by being everywhere and taking every opportunity that came my way, without considering how it might affect me physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually. I was known as the person who could do it all. I worked hard at my job, volunteered wholeheartedly at the NGO I co-founded, created a YouTube channel to help Ethiopian grad students, participated in multiple Ethiopian communities, delivered public speaking sessions, made new friends and connections in a new country, explored my hobbies—all while pursuing a demanding one-year master's program at a world-class school. I believed I could do it all, so I maintained my connections back home, dealt with the loss of family members, tried to exercise, cooked healthy(ish) meals, cared for my well-being, and supported my loved ones when I could.

But it was only a matter of time before burnout knocked on my door, and it knocked loud and clear. It knocked me off my feet. Suddenly, I wasn't able to do anything, not even the smallest tasks like completing assignments. In a few days, it became evident that I was stressed to the point of having physical symptoms. Morning anxiety became my norm instead of waking up ready to seize the day. I was unable to focus on what mattered to me. Everything felt like a mountain, and I started operating at a bare minimum. For someone used to accomplishing a lot daily, it was a shock. This wasn't my first experience with burnout, but it came at a time when much was at stake. My schoolwork was in jeopardy. As the days passed and the stress reached peak levels, unhealthy coping mechanisms began to creep in. Rather than giving myself a break, I tried to keep going. I started disconnecting from my close friends and family. I didn't want to worry them since everyone had their own battles to fight. I tried to hide it, but it showed. Missing classes, not answering calls, looking tired and gloomy, not completing assignments on time—all these small yet significant symptoms disrupted my daily life.

Just when I thought, "Okay, this is my week," one thing after another kept happening, draining the small motivation I had left. The major setback was having to move out of my house and into a temporary one after a fire next door destroyed my home. My roommates and I went from having a normal Friday morning to standing on the street, watching firefighters put out the fire next door. I still remember that day vividly. As the days passed, stress levels peaked, and unhealthy coping mechanisms slowly crept in. Rather than giving myself a break, I kept going. I started disconnecting from my close friends and family. I didn't want to worry them since everyone had their own battles to fight. I tried to hide it, but it showed. Missing classes, not answering calls, looking tired and gloomy, not completing assignments on time—all these small yet significant symptoms disrupted my daily life.

After weeks of feeling like I'd never be part of a functional society again, feeling like my career was dying, feeling disconnected from friends and the world, feeling like I'd missed out on opportunities, feeling like an imposter in the best program in the world but unable to meet its standards, feeling lazy and insignificant, I made a decision. I could either stay in this space for months, or I could take the necessary steps to reclaim the version of myself that felt lost. I realized I could easily burn out again by trying to do everything at once to make up for the months I wasn't myself, or I could take a different approach. I chose the latter. I decided to prioritize my mental and physical health. When I needed to sleep, rather than pushing myself to do one more assignment, I listened to my body and went to sleep (or at least tried to, as insomnia was a new symptom of this burnout). I became conscious of what I was eating. I had gained over 10 kg in five months due to stress eating, not exercising, and major stress. I started being aware of my mental state. Rather than being harsh on myself for not being productive, I decided to nurture my brain and be loving towards it. I needed to be on my side. I couldn't be my enemy anymore. I began to work on the negative thoughts and feelings that trapped me in imposter syndrome and made me catatonic. Whenever a negative thought or harsh criticism arose, I tried to assess it objectively. Even if the thought was true (which it mostly wasn't), I gently removed the associated guilt and shame and focused on improving what went wrong.

I'm very early on this journey, and it's already very difficult. It's easy to overwork and overwhelm myself, but taking a break doesn't come naturally to me. It doesn't come naturally to be gentle with myself and detach from negative thoughts. It doesn't come naturally to tell myself I'm a hardworking and good person when imposter syndrome is as loud as a hammer hitting a nail repeatedly. It doesn't come naturally to self-soothe when anxiety makes it almost impossible to focus on my lectures, assignments, or conversations. But I am on this journey, trying to take it one day at a time. I'm learning to recognize when stress creeps in, changes my perspective on life, and makes me question my abilities and strengths. It's a daily battle, and I know I don't succeed every day, but I will take whatever win I have and build on it.

To anyone reading this: you are never alone when you feel burnt out and drained of energy to keep going. I've interacted with many people going through the same thing in the past few weeks, and it made me feel less alone. It's good to know you aren't lazy or inherently flawed. It's just a human response to stress, disconnection, and fatigue. So take it easy. The world can wait. You come first. You need to be here fully and authentically so you can experience life at its best, and your best self can give all the beautiful things to the world as it's meant to.