Overcoming Barriers: Truths and Misconceptions of Success

Success is often seen as an elusive goal, but the journey to achieving it is filled with challenges, both internal and external. From the crippling fear of failure to the influence of those who may hold you back, understanding these obstacles is essential for growth. In this article, we’ll explore the greatest threats to your success, uncover how and why others may try to hinder your progress, and dispel common misconceptions about success. Finally, we’ll dive into the key differences between those who succeed and those who fall short, offering some practical insights to help you forge your own path to achievement.

Fear of Failure: The Greatest Threat to Your Success

The fear of failure has killed more dreams than all other fears combined. The fear of failure is insidious, because it’s largely in your imagination. It can also prevent you from even trying in the first place, which guarantees failure.

It’s interesting that very small children have no concept of failure. They couldn’t care less if they fail to do something. They just try again. There are no negative thoughts or emotions involved. They just keep on going.

But it doesn’t take long before children learn to fear the opinions of others. It’s usually around the time they start school. After that first day of school, we’re all changed forever.

It might not be possible to go recapture the mentality of a toddler, but you can come close. The fear of failure doesn’t have to impact your life significantly.

Consider these facts:

1. Failure is temporary - unless you quit. Failure isn’t final unless you give up. The most successful people have experienced a lot of failure. They ended up being successful precisely because they didn’t quit. Failure is a temporary state that means nothing, because it’s only temporary.

2. Failure is common. You’ve failed thousands of times and managed to survive. Consider how many times you failed to walk or to talk well. Babies have constant failure.

• Successful people fail all of the time. It’s a huge part of how human beings learn. We realize that our approach didn’t work, we adjust, and we try again.

3. Failure is educational. You can learn something from every single one of your failures. Failure makes you more knowledgeable and capable. The more you fail, the stronger you become.

4. Others are far less concerned about your failure than you think. A few people might notice your failure, but they quickly turn their attention back on themselves and their own challenges.

• There’s nothing to worry about. Feel free to fail as much as necessary. Fail enough and you’ll quickly see that no one relevant cares.

5. Focus on how great it will be when you succeed. Instead of worrying about possible failure, consider possible success. Make yourself feel excited and positive about taking action.

• With high enough expectations, you’ll do just about anything without worrying about failure.

6. Redirect your thoughts. Put your attention on what you’re doing. If a negative outcome isn’t going to cause any real harm, forget about the outcome. Stay focused on in the present - on your actions or something positive. Thinking about failing will freeze you in your tracks.

7. Consider the cost of doing nothing. Taking action can be scary, but what will happen if you do nothing?

• What will you feel about failing to act?
• What if you’re stuck in your current life for the next decade or more?
• Maybe taking a risk is far more attractive than remaining where you are.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid of failing? Probably a lot more than you’re currently doing! How much has the fear of failure limited your life?

We’ve all allowed the fear of failure to influence our decisions. We’ve allowed this fear to stop us from trying new things or taking risks. We all have smaller lives than we could because we’re too concerned with what others think.

Rejecting the fear of failure is one of the greatest things you can do for your future!

You can start today. What are you going to do today that you’ve been afraid to try?

How and Why Others Try to Hold You Back From Success

When you’re trying to change your life, there will be people that feel the need to get in your way. A few of them might actually believe they’re trying to help you, but they’re not. They want you to stay just the way you are. That way, they can feel comfortable about not improving themselves, too.

It’s frustrating to find out that few people are on your side, but if you want to succeed, it’s something that you need to manage.

How might others try to derail your success?

1. Pointing out your past failures. We’ve all failed numerous times. Some people in your life will undoubtedly bring up those failures in an attempt to sabotage your current efforts.

Suppose you decide you want to climb all the 14,000-foot+ peaks in the US. You might be reminded by a “friend” that you couldn’t even climb the 2,000-foot peak at summer camp. They might even suggest that you come up with a more reasonable goal.

2. Trying to make you feel guilty. Guilt is another weapon. Sticking with our mountain climbing theme, you might be told that all that travel is expensive. You might also be told that you should be saving all the money for your child’s college education or your retirement. Or that maybe you should spend all that time with your family.

3. Attempting to distract you. “Hey, forget the mountains. Let’s all go on a big vacation together instead.”

These are just a few of the less devious ways those around you might try to sabotage your efforts. But why would they do it in the first place? It doesn’t seem kind and supportive, and it’s not - even though they’ll try to present it that way.

There are several reasons why people close to you try to sabotage your efforts:

1. They want to stay comfortable with their mediocrity. If you do something amazing, they have to deal with the fact that they have not. No one wants to feel like they’re losing the game of life. Rather than deal with their own fear, insecurity, and laziness, it’s just easier and less work to hold you back.

2. Jealousy. While there are some people who are genuinely happy to see you achieve something great, win the lottery, or lose 50 pounds, there are even more that are jealous. They’ll try to stop you from being successful. And if that doesn’t work, they’ll attempt to diminish the value of your success.

For example, “Oh, if I had all of your free time, I could easily lose 50 pounds, too.”

3. People don’t like change. Everyone is getting something from you. If they got nothing out of their relationship with you, they wouldn’t associate with you at all. If you change, it threatens the status quo. If you become something different, where does that leave them?

It’s psychologically easier for them if you just stay the same.

The solution is to commit to being successful in spite of the objections of others. You might want to consider removing the worst offenders from your life. Life is hard enough without having your own friends and family trying to make it even harder.

Commit to your goals for the right reason. Impressing others is a shallow reason for doing something. Do it for yourself.

Consider keeping your big goals to yourself. You receive less resistance from others. Choose what’s best for your life and do it! You don’t need the approval of others.?

Nine Misconceptions of Success

What if success isn’t about what you don’t know? What if it turns out that you’re mistaken about the things you’re certain are true. Misconceptions create challenges. What if your preconceived ideas about success are incorrect? How might your beliefs about your likelihood of success change?

If it turns out that your beliefs are inaccurate, you might find that achieving success is a lot easier than you originally thought. With a fresh set of beliefs, new actions and outcomes can be expected. Success starts with you!

Check out these nine misconceptions of success:

1. It’s too late to reach your goals. Many of the world’s most successful individuals didn’t get started until later in life. Consider Rodney Dangerfield who didn’t get his first big break until he was 46 - when he appeared on the Ed Sullivan show for the first time. Or, Vera Wang, who started her bridal wear design career at age 40.

2. Successful people have to work insane hours. While many successful people do work many hours, that’s primarily because they enjoy what they’re doing. But it’s not necessary to focus all your efforts on work.

It’s important to spend time doing things that help you move forward in a positive direction. Sometimes, that even means doing things that make you feel uncomfortable.

3. It takes a long time to become successful. It depends on what you’re doing. If you want to become a doctor, it does take a while. But many things can be accomplished quickly with a good action plan.

4. You have to play by the rules to succeed. The alternate, “You have to break all the rules to succeed,” is also false. Each situation is unique. You can make up your own rules, as long as you avoid hurting anyone or breaking any laws.

5. Money isn’t important. Money is very important for those things that require money. Money doesn’t provide emotional support, but it can do a whole lot for you. If you’re unable to pay your bills or buy food, you already know the importance of money. Having money means you have options.

6. Success is only about making money. It’s important to have enough money to support your idea of success. But money isn’t everything! Maybe your version of success is about having freedom and enjoying life. Having more money than you need is of questionable value.

7. You’ll achieve the most success if you do it alone. Success rarely happens in isolation. You’ll probably need help along the way. Partnerships, joint ventures, favors, and mentors are often part of becoming successful. Hopefully, you’ll be able to pay it forward and help someone else on their road to success someday.

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” - African proverb

8. If you lack education or come from a certain background, you won’t find success. Successful people come from all backgrounds and levels of education. In fact, a disproportionate number of highly successful people didn’t complete high school!

Having a certain background and education can provide different opportunities, but there’s an alternative path to success. History is filled with success stories of those with serious disadvantages.

9. Success is the goal. Success is the condition of having met your goals. It isn’t a goal in itself. What’s most important is who we become on the journey to achieving our goals.

Success is frequently different than what we think it is. You’ve learned to talk, walk, and read. You’ve made friends and achieved many other things. Use those experiences to lead you down the path to success with your bigger goals.

The Differences: Those Who Succeed and Those Who Fail

?Success is a fascinating thing. There are good people with every possible advantage that struggle with success and life in general. It’s also easy to find people with no education, a poor attitude, and a lack of morality that seem to thrive. Both groups of people want to get ahead, but only one is successful. Why is that?

Successful people, regardless of their advantages or disadvantages, have one thing in common: they consistently work at their goals.

It’s necessary to do everything you can to be successful and take that attitude into the marketplace. You must be willing to compete, whether it be for a job or to see your business become successful.

Add these behaviors to your life and create more success:

1. Make use of what you have. This includes your capabilities, time, and other resources. There’s no reason to wait until you learn something new, save a certain amount of money, or make the right contacts. You can do those things on the side, but the bulk of your time should be spent on doing everything you can with what you currently possess.

2. Read books that enable you to spend your time more productively. By learning more, you can correct your mistakes and use your time more wisely. The right book can teach you more discipline or how to better interact with others.

• Books give you access to the very best minds in the world, past and present. Every book you read can improve you in some way and enhance the way you spend your time.?

3. Commit to being your best. Most of us are either too lazy or too afraid to bring our best to each day. Discipline and courage are required if you want to consistently be successful at a high level.

4. Make plans. Dreams are nice, but they’re just a starting point. You must convert your dreams into concrete plans, and then put everything you have into executing those plans.

• Building a life without a good plan is like trying to build a home without a good plan. Eventually you run into trouble and must use make-shift solutions just to keep it from falling apart.

5.Plan your day, but not all of it. Ensure that you can hit the ground running, but leave yourself enough wiggle room to take advantage of any opportunities that present themselves along the way.

• The same goes for your week, month, and year. Have a good, solid outline for your time for at least the next year.

6. View problems as challenges to be solved. Becoming successful requires dealing with a nearly endless stream of obstacles. View these obstacles as challenges that make you stronger, smarter, and more capable to handle the next challenge. The bigger the challenge you’re able to solve, the more successful you will become.

7. Avoid distractions. Spend your time on the most important activities. If learning to play piano is a priority for you, spending time perfecting your photography skills, playing the guitar, and learning to oil paint ensures that you’ll never become the best pianist you can be.

It’s easy to look around and see that the universe isn’t judging “good” people and “bad” people when it comes to success. You know plenty of awful people that are doing well, and plenty of wonderful people that are struggling.

You must have a plan and put it into action each day. That is the ultimate determiner of success. Make a plan for your life today and live the life you want.

Achieving success is not a matter of luck or circumstance. You must understand and overcome the obstacles that stand in your way. By facing your fear of failure, recognizing and managing the influence of others, dispelling misconceptions about what success truly means, and learning from the differences between those who succeed and those who don’t, you can position yourself for lasting achievement. Armed with this knowledge, you are empowered to take deliberate steps forward with confidence, determination, and a clear vision of your goals.

Success is within your reach. It's up to you to seize it!