Overcoming Back to School Jitters

The first day jitters are a normal part of heading back to school but this year, those jitters may be intensified.?As kids transition back to in person learning, they may be worried about reconnecting with others, catching up academically, staying healthy, along with possible interruptions to their school year and extracurricular activities. This is on top of the normal first day worries of meeting their teacher, making friends and learning new things.

Some of the worries they may share may seem 'silly' or an 'over-reaction' that we view as trivial - to them it is a BIG deal. And those ‘big deals’ come with a ton of emotions.

We want children to be happy. However, if you focus solely on trying to fix their concerns or discomforts to make them happy, you will miss the opportunity to connect and understand what is going on for them emotionally.

A parent from one of my presentations said it best, ‘Your presentation and tips made me realize I need to connect more with the emotions around the return to school and work through them as opposed to trying to fix them.’

When a child is experiencing an emotion, your job is not to fix it. It is to support, comfort and listen with empathy.

?When my 9 year old son shares that he is feeling nervous and anxious about an upcoming event, I first let him know that 'It's OK to feel that way – it’s natural and normal. We will get through this together.’?His emotions show up as pain in his stomach, so he may say to me, 'Mom, my stomach hurts.' Together we take some deep belly breaths and then I remind him, ‘You can feel nervous and anxious and still choose to be brave.’

These 4 steps will help you acknowledge, validate & connect to your children’s emotions so they can choose brave:

1. Listen to what is bothering them without trying to get them to feel better

2. Help them name the emotion

3. Ask where they feel the emotion in their body

4. Give them examples of what they can do to move through their emotions in a healthy way

Once they have moved through their emotions, you can take steps to help them feel more comfortable with their return to school:

• Talk about summer ending and what the first day of school may look and feel like.
• Discuss how routines will shift like bedtime, mornings, screen time.
• Share how you felt going back to school.
• Makes things more familiar. Visit the outside of the school and walk around.
• Practice separation routine. Role play it.

?Visualization is one more step that is powerful and gives their brain an imprint of what they would like to experience:

• Have them visualize what they would like the school day to look and feel like through drawing, talking or writing.
• During visualization emotions can be triggered - that's ok.
• Practice deep mindful breathing with your child so they can move with and through their emotions as they arise.

With you as their guide, kids will be able to enjoy their new school year feeling prepared, excited and ready to learn.

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