To Overcome Perfectionism, Insert Realism Into The Equation
Andy Molinsky
Organizational & Cross-Cultural Psychologist at Brandeis; 3x Book Author: Global Dexterity, Reach, Forging Bonds in a Global Workforce
It's hard to accept being good when you'd love to be great. But that's the harsh reality for the great majority of us.
We yearn for our book to be a smash hit, but it's far more likely to be moderately successful. We crave building the next big thing ... to disrupt our industry. But few of us will actually achieve these lofty ambitions.
Instead, we're far more likely to have some hits with a whole lot of misses along the way. And the question is: Can our egos handle it?
From reflecting on my own experience and chatting with people who struggle with these very same ambitions, my answer to this question is yes.
And the trick, I find, is to develop a balanced perspective when you're caught in the throes of perfectionist thinking: something in between the idealistic thinking of perfectionism and the doomsday worst-case scenarios we're prone to fall into.
Step 1 is to carefully consider--and even write down--your worst-case scenario: What's the absolutely worst thing that could happen in this situation? For example, the worst-case scenario for an entrepreneur might be that her fledgling company will flop, her reputation will be ruined, and she'll never get funding again.
Step 2 is the opposite: the dream scenario--the best thing that could possibly happen. For example, in the same situation, the perfect scenario might be a meteoric rise to the top, a valuation in the billions, and a call from ABC to replace Kevin O'Leary on Shark Tank (remember, we said your dream scenario!).
What's critical about writing down these best- and worst-case scenarios is that it sets the stage for capturing the far more likely middle ground - which is Step 3.
Your company could certainly flop (many do), but in the world of startups, that's par for the course. And in either case, you'll learn quite a bit, develop new areas of expertise, and build your network of contacts along the way.
Guiding Globalistas Across Language & Culture Barriers
3 年Thanks. I needed this today.
No longer using Linked in as of 20th May 2021 - Thanks for the 7 years here to everyone. Learned much from you all on the way.
3 年It is more important to see what the perfectionism may be covering up, since the root cause of the perfectionism may not be perfection. Perfection as a cover-up is actions that hold an underlying fear or projection of ego. If the driver of that need is upholding an image, the greater that need the more toxic the perfectionism becomes. What is rare is healthy perfectionists, where it is not a psychological decay into perfectionism but an elevation in flow or even meaning. I would want an aircraft or rocket designer to be ruthlessly perfect, less a frozen o-ring creates a catastrophic chain of events. It's only when the worst happens that we face recriminations about not doing more, such as the story of Allan Macdonald, the engineer who would not sign off on the Challenger launch https://www.nasa.gov/centers/langley/news/researchernews/rn_Colloquium1012.html In matters of life and death it's reprehensible to cut corners and yet we do not laud that kind of perfection, and only vehemently express outrage when such perfection was ignored or listen to Feynman explain it afterwards https://www.feynman.com/science/the-challenger-disaster/ Ruthless perfection as a flow state is a great personal experience for a lucky few with ability.
Offshore Bahamian Companies since 1990 / Author / Banking / Former member FINRA/SIPC
3 年Google put over $20 billion into the no tax haven of Bermuda in a single year from just their EU operations. https://www.dhirubhai.net/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6800018643460644864/ Contact if you want an offshore company.