Overcome & Avoid the 4 Great Mistakes in Divorce
The most painful and depressing times take place during the Pre-divorce Stage, and continues in the Divorce stage and drags on in the post-divorce stage. The parties are devastated and may never recover.
But this need not be the road divorcing parties have to take or should take.
The options in handling and managing conflicts of a pending divorce and/or divorce are many in the spectrum of managing the disputes , ranging from fist-fighting , to negotiation , to mediation , to collaborative family practice and to litigation .
If two adults have to part , why can't the parties do it civilly , respectfully , healthily, amicably and avoid the 4 great mistakes in most divorces. The 1st Great Mistake of Parties in a divorce is to forget that they are the decision makers. They should be in a drivers' seats and not others.They should not give up control of the drivers' seat!
The 2nd great mistake to make it to do it " My Way". Meaning that it has to be "I Win -you- lose's approach " . No ! You should seek help from people with expertise or expert's perspective so that there is no just One Winner or Just One Loser. It needs not be. It can still be a solution that both sides can accept.
The 3rd Great Mistake to make is to limit your resources when dealing with such a devastating event of divorce. You need to enhance your capacity to deal with it many issues like , parenting , financial distribution , asset distribution ; career and business. Never throw in your Towel . You only throw in your Towel when you are overwhelmed . But when you enhanced your capacity to handle it - you can manage such nerve-wrecking journey. You must align with your Greater Self and not the smaller self.
The 4th Great Mistake is when Parties in a divorce want Guarantee and Certainty . This is a greatest mistake. Nothing is caste in stones. Get different perspectives. Look at the future . Not the Past. Re-adjust your approach to life. Start anew again . The journey ahead can be better , if you start anew again by building new relationships, new sustainable expectations. and new aspirations. Do not carry the emotional baggage on the road to the future.
Since Divorce can overwhelm you and your decision making .
The other noble road or High Road to take in a Divorce journey is to look for enablers and tools , and perspectives that help to Overcome and avoid the 4 Big Mistakes most parties take. You want to deal with conflicts effectively. You want to harness your emotions. You want to develop perseverance . You want to communicate effectively. You want to be a credible and sensible participant with all the help you can get. Divorce litigation is a no no road to take considering the adversarial approach , discovery-based process , tactical moves and a series of confrontational processes and leaving a third Party to decide on law and on facts.
The Processes in the journey are important . Do look for a professionally trained lawyers who are familiar with and competent in family mediation ( on divorce) , trained in collaborative family practice , and even Personal Divorce Coach .
Family Mediators, Collaborative Family Mediators and Personal Divorce Coach - the process they take are flexible, goal-orientated , designed to support , heal, sustain parties going through divorce to make the best possible decisions for the future basing on interests, needs and concerns. In the journey of life , we must always turn winter into spring .
An eastern saying goes as follows: " When you lit a lantern for another, it will also brighten your own path. "