Over your job, boss, or a situation? What to do when you just can't.

Have you ever been – or are you now - at the point that you just…can’t.

I have. More than a time or two. Triggered by a job, boss, child, situation, or people being intentionally rude to others (huge pet peeve).

I’m certainly not going to say I can solve whatever you're over in an article. However, I can give you a quick read with a solid, simple coping strategy. Also, I might have written this in part just to use the photo of RDJ, just saying.

1.?Own it

When you start nearing that point – own it. Recognize it, admit it, and say it out loud. Give it validity.

“I’m just about over X. It’s stomped on my last nerve, I don’t feel I can handle this, I’m tired, I’m over it. I don’t think it’s fair, I don’t know how to deal with it and I just want it gone.”

Release it. Saying it out loud. Follow it up with a type of journaling (see below). Get it out of your head. We’re lightening the load.

Don’t be surprised at what comes out when you give yourself permission to have a stream of consciousness. It’s very liberating.

2.?Block it

Step away. Now that you’ve put it out there and exhausted yourself getting all that anxiety out, step away. Let it go for a bit. Focus on something you enjoy or that will distract you.

It will still be there when you get back, we’re taking a moment to have a mini-mental health break.

One of my most favorite things to do is a breathing exercise. I love this because it can be done right in front of the person that is giving me a challenge and they can’t tell I’m doing it.

Breathe in through your nose for a slow count of three

Breathe out of your mouth for a slow count of five

If needed (in public or next to the challenging person) barely part your lips to exhale. You’re controlling your breath, not making huge quick intakes or loud exhausted exhalations.

If you’re alone, close your eyes and use visualization to further relax.

If this isn’t quite cutting it, try clenching your toes or fists (if not noticeable) on the inhale and releasing on the exhale.

This helps on two fronts:

1. It refocuses your mind to give you a mental break. ?
2. It also brings awareness to how the situation might be impacting you physically. You may not notice how tight your muscles are from internalizing the situation.

3. Chart it

I’m a list person, an over-analyzer, a charter, a journaler. I noodle over everything. Writing it down gets it out of my head. I can then go back and see things from a different perspective.

There are many different methods you can use here – a simple journal, mind mapping, or a pros and cons chart. The main point is to write down as much about the situation as possible – good and bad.

Then take another break.

Come back to what you’ve written and think of it as data - ripe to be mined. Be a researcher – dig! Ask a series of questions to take the emotions out of the situation and help you focus on your bottom lines.

• What are you missing?
• What can be learned?
• Where can you take a positive action?
• What can you release?
• What’s irrelevant in the grand scheme of things?
• What is important and why?
• What resolution do you want and why?
• What can you do to take steps toward that resolution?
• Whom can you enlist to help you?
• Can you let this go?
• Is it in your best interest to fight through this?

These questions help refocus and take the situation apart in a whole new way. This may give you an inspiration that leads to resolution.

Conclusion

We all have situations that seem to get the better of us. A process of release and examination reframes and allows for resolution.

If you take nothing else away from this article, try the breathing exercise – it’s awesome. I use it in coaching, yoga, and personally to calm myself down when I’m getting a bit too much.

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I help amazing people get what they want from their career faster, easier & with more fun.

?Click here –?CareerPolish.com?– to find out more | ?Follow me @LisaKMcDonald for career insights

All opinions and views expressed in this article are my own unless attributed. The humor is definitely mine and Mr. B approved, my dog who thinks I’m hilarious (maybe because I’m his meal ticket).

If you have found that the reason the situation is causing you anxiety is that it is not aligned with you or what you want – perhaps some goal setting supported with easy-to-implement, no-foo-foo strategies to really achieve your goals would be helpful.

I’m launching that program in February – if you would like to join, email me at [email protected] and I’ll let you know all the juicy details!

#release #goalsetting #letitgo