Outsmarting A Sadist

Captain Ramer was movie star handsome and a sadistic son of a bitch. I fixed his wagon…once.

A retired army officer, Ramer was employed as an instructor at Carson Long Military Academy in New Bloomfield, Pennsylvania. He taught math and coached the football team.

At practice he’d crouch behind the line with a large paddle swatting the players butts severely to spur them on to charge with vigor.?

Ramer taught math. If you came to class without a pencil woe be to you. He would call you to the front of the room. At the door you’d be ordered to assume a running position. Hanging next to the blackboard was a large wooden paddle Ramer called “Whistling Charlie.” The paddle had many holes drilled in it. Cadets seated by the door said you could hear Charlie “whistle” as it sped through the air.

Ramer would provide the cadet with the campus coordinates to where he would find a pencil. He told the cadet how many minutes and seconds he had from the time he left the room till the time he returned with the pencil. If he wasn't back within the time limit he’d receive two swats. Then, swinging with great vigor, Ramer gave the cadet a very hard swat to send him on his way. I never saw a cadet beat the clock. I often witnessed Ramer laying on the wood and boys trying to hold back their tears.

The trumpeter blew taps at 9:00 p.m. This was the signal for lights out. My Belfry Hall dorm room was on the second floor. It was a warm night. I had my window open. I couldn’t fall asleep. I moved my bed next to the window to catch a breeze. I had just drifted off when something awakened me. I looked at my watch. It was 10 p.m. I heard a rustling outside. I leaned over and rested my chin on the windowsill. I looked down searching the ground below hoping to see a porcupine or a raccoon. Instead I saw Ramer. He was crouched down. He was burying a pencil just to the right of a large flagstone next to the steps in to the dorm. I'll be damned. I knew exactly where the pencil was hidden. I decided to fix Ramer’s wagon.

The next morning in class Ramer did his song and dance. Some called it teaching and then we were to do the problems. I raised my hand.

“Yes, Davis?”

“ Sir, I forgot my pencil.”?

“You did did you? Well, Davis you know the drill. Come up and assume the position.”

I went to the doorway and bent over.

“You will have seven minutes from the time Whistling Charlie bids you goodbye to recover the pencil and return to class. The pencil is next to a rock near the entrance to Belfry Hall. Ready?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Wam!

I hardly felt Charlie. It stung but I must have moved a shade forward when struck. I was watching the boys seated near me. As their eyes widened I guess I started moving.

Dodging cadets I streaked across the campus like a bat out of hell. I went straight to where I had seen Ramer bury the pencil. I scraped away the dirt.There it was. I snatched it up and raced back to class.

The pencil arrived a bit before me as I had it clenched in my outstretched hand as I burst in to the room. Ramer seemed stunned. He looked at his watch, frowned and pointed to my desk. As I walked back to take my seat several cadets flashed me winks and smiles.

Ramer called the class to attention. He gave me a steely look and proceeded with the lesson. I was glad I wasn’t on the football team.?