Outsmarted by own kids: A parent's journey in teaching Critical Thinking & dodging Cognitive Biases

It all started a couple months ago with a heated debate about the greatest superhero of all time, with my two boys, ages 8 and 10, passionately arguing their cases.

My 8-year-old championed Dr. Strange's magical prowess (thanks, LEGO Marvel Universe), while my 10-year-old rooted for Batman's superior intelligence and gadgets. I quickly realized that they were only considering the positive aspects of their chosen heroes and ignoring the strengths of the other. This superhero showdown convinced me of the importance of teaching my kids critical thinking skills and how to avoid cognitive biases from an early age.

To begin, I had to explain to them what critical thinking actually is and why it's important. So, I said, "Imagine you're a detective trying to solve a mystery. You need to look for clues, ask questions, and think about different possibilities before finding the right answer. Critical thinking is like being a detective for your own thoughts and ideas. It helps you make better decisions, understand different points of view, and avoid making mistakes because you didn't consider all the facts."

Between the superhero debates and dinner table discussions, I decided to start with "confirmation bias" as the first cognitive bias to teach my kids. Why? Because it's one of the most common and pervasive biases that people face. Tackling confirmation bias early on can have a significant impact on their future decision-making and interpersonal relationships.

Research has shown that adults struggle with confirmation bias in various aspects of life, from politics and social issues to personal beliefs and professional decisions. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people tend to favour information that confirms their preexisting beliefs, even when presented with facts that challenge those beliefs. This can lead to polarization, misunderstandings, and a less collaborative society of which you tragically find proof for everyday in the news. By teaching our kids to recognize and avoid confirmation bias at a young age, we're helping them develop the skills to approach situations with an open mind and make more informed decisions.

Moreover, fostering the ability to overcome confirmation bias can make the world a better place by promoting empathy, understanding, and effective communication. When we're aware of our biases and actively seek diverse perspectives, we can better appreciate the experiences and opinions of others. This not only enhances our own critical thinking abilities but also fosters a more inclusive and harmonious society.

Eager to be the super cool "I'll-teach-you-guys-something-useful-no-one-else-in-your-class-knows, yet"-Dad, I dove headfirst into this adventure, but quickly faced a major challenge: How do I discuss such an abstract yet important topic with 8 to 10-year-olds?

After a brief, impulsive thought of just parking this idea for a few years on my "things-I-want-to-do-with-my-kids-one-day" list, I resisted that initial effort-avoidance-urge and decided to give it a shot. So I told them, "Confirmation bias is like having a favorite superhero and only paying attention to the cool things they do while ignoring the cool things other superheroes do. This can make us think that our favorite superhero is the best, even if there might be better superheroes out there." They both seemed to somewhat grasp the concept, but following BJ Fogg’s view, that successful habit building takes lots of effort and even more tiny steps, we began to incorporate playful daily routines to help them practice critical thinking and avoid confirmation bias.

Our first routine was the “critical dinner table” discussion. Each night, we take turns sharing something new we learned or an interesting experience we had that day. Then, we use our detective skills to ask questions and explore different perspectives. For example, my 8-year-old shared a story about a classmate who didn't want to join a game at recess, everyone else seemed to love. Instead of jumping to conclusions about why, we brainstormed possible reasons and tried to see the situation from the classmate's point of view.

Our second routine is the "what-if game". We take turns making up hypothetical situations or stories and use our critical thinking skills to explore different possibilities and consequences. For instance, my 10-year-old came up with a "What if everyone in the world had superpowers?" scenario. We discussed the pros and cons, like how crime rates might change, how people would use their powers, and the potential impact on peoples life and society.

As a useful tool for these exercise we often use 5 reflective questions we now call the CURIOUS 5:

1. What facts support my opinion or idea? What facts don't?
2. Are there other ideas I haven't thought about?
3. Am I only looking at facts that agree with me?
4. How would someone who disagrees with me see this?
5. Have I changed my mind on an idea before? How can I use that experience?

Even if not all of the 5 questions are always used, it still helps them to apply a framework to structure their thoughts and build a simple reflection routine.

Fast forward a few weeks, and I'm proud to see some progress in my little thinkers. They're increasingly open-minded, ask better questions, and even start spotting biases during our discussions. But, as with any good story, there's a twist.

Little did I realize that in teaching my kids critical thinking, I'd also be setting a higher standard for myself and my wife. Our boys now seem to hold us accountable for our own cognitive biases more often and remind us when we fall into a trap. Just the other day, I caught myself complaining about the endless rainy weather (which is actually quite common in Germany around around that time of the year), and my 8-year-old chimed in, "But Dad, isn't that just a negativity bias? Rain is good for the plants, and it is perfect for staying inside and watching a movie, right?!”.

I couldn't help but laugh, both proud and humbled while realizing that he apparently had started the “smart negotiation skills journey” by himself already.  

Teaching my kids critical thinking has eventually turned into a family affair, where we all need to learn, grow, and challenge each other to be better thinkers. And while sticking to our routines can be challenging, the superhero-sized benefits of raising little detectives are well worth the effort.

Our adventure in raising critically-minded kids has just begun, and I can't help but feel a mix of pride and self-irony as we continue to learn from each other. So, "If you can't outsmart your kids, join them and make the world a better place together!"