Outsmart Your Critic in 2015

I read a book called The Way of Aikido at the urging of a friend. A Wikipedia description of Aikido is as follows:

"The term aiki refers to the martial arts principle or tactic of blending with an attacker's movements for the purpose of controlling their actions with minimal effort. One applies aiki by understanding the rhythm and intent of the attacker to find the optimal position and timing to apply a counter-technique.

Those who practice Aikido see it not only as something they do on the mat, but as a way of life. It teaches the art of “blending” with an attack rather than fighting it with blunt force. You move with the momentum and patiently wait for the perfect timing. It reminds me of a great negotiator, or even a great salesperson. I’ve never seen someone win a sale by simply pummeling a prospect with brilliant answers to their objections. Instead, you must dance with them - you listen, you subtly mimic their body language and tone of voice, you move alongside them and demonstrate your value...and it ends with a new, smiling client instead of a defeated one.

I recently recognized an application of this Aikido principle I’d like to adopt in 2015.

It’s related to that little voice in my head. You have one too, right? It says things like, “You’re not the right person for that work, Matt” and “You’re already in good enough shape, no need to workout today,” and of course “You have so much more to offer the world than making sales calls, Matt.”

I have grown to hate this voice, this uninvited critic squatting in the attic of my brain. No matter how hard I fight him, he shrugs it off and keeps showing up.
But what if I didn’t fight him at all? What if this critic exists to protect me in some way? And if he’s trying to protect me, it’s likely that he can be useful to me. If this is true, the trick is not to fight your critic with force at all, but to redirect it somewhere useful (like actual danger, instead of the made-up kind).

Here’s what I am going to try:

The next time I hear the “you’re not good enough” whispers, I’ll move alongside the critic and redirect him by asking a few questions.

“Why are you so scared for me to try?” I’ll say to him.
“Because they’ll laugh at you when you fail,” he’ll say.
“So what?” I’ll respond.
“So what? Your reputation will be ruined!” says the critic.
“Do you have any examples of this happening to anyone else we know?”
“I’m sure there are plenty."
“Name one,” I’ll say.
(silence from the critic)
“Ok how about this," I'll tell him. "I’ll put everything I have into this effort for the next week. If at any point my reputation is truly in danger, or everyone begins to laugh at me, we can revisit this conversation and I’ll admit you were right. But until then, we don’t discuss it again. Deal?"

As I write this, it feels both weird and right. I just typed out a hypothetical conversation with myself. That’s pretty weird. But it also strikes me as very real. We have these conversations with ourselves many times throughout every single day. It is the process we go through in deciding what we believe about ourselves, what we are capable of, and where we are headed. And the same is true of our businesses. They are an extension of ourselves. If we believe that we are not capable of greatness, our business has no chance of being great either.

I believe that 2015 will be the best year of my life thus far. My family will grow from 3 members to 4, I’ll start a bold new project, and my current business will triple in size. And even as I finish writing this post, my critic is telling me not to hit “publish” when I’m through. He is telling me that nobody cares what I have to say and I’m just wasting everyone’s time.

If you’re reading this, the aikido worked.