Outnumbered, not unwelcome - my story of working in operations

I love everything about working in operations...the pace of work and urgency, reliability, troubleshooting, climbing vessels for inspection, chilling with the plant operators and contractors in the “good” times when nothing is broken, etc etc etc. It wasn’t always this way though. I spent many years hoping and praying I NEVER have to enter a plant and remain in an office environment indefinitely! So here are a few stories that describe the whirlwind that is my experience as a woman in operations and how my outlook evolved over time. Why am I sharing these stories? This is not a crusade for “do you know how hard it is to be a woman in operations!!” Its more of a candid expression to help prepare anyone who feels out of place and nervous about a new career direction or opportunity that feels like fish out of water. If anything, I’ve learned that taking an uncomfortable situation head on can lead to so many wonderful opportunities. Here it goes!

1. Square peg in a round hole

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Translation: Go home and cook

This is the first thing I heard an operator say to me (more like yell at me across from the very loud compressor!) when I stepped into a chemicals plant for my first internship in college. I was all of 19, vulnerable and not the slightest clue that I was the only girl on site. I felt terrible, cried and declared to my parents that night that I was going to grad school in America and work in a research lab forever and ever until I retire. 10 years later, I did get my PhD in America and bagged a great job at a prestigious company working in the research and technology development organization. “YES!! I DID IT! I never have to set foot in a plant again!Yay!”... I was so wrong.

2. Different, but same

I did fairly well in the initial days of being a lab rat and eventually ended up in an assignment where I was deemed ready to lead a pilot scale testing with the operations team. I was devastated! As an early career professional, there was no way I could refuse it...so I decided to hide my inhibitions and showed up to the job. I still remember that Monday morning when I introduced myself to the main operator (let’s just call him Lucas) and he goes “This is no place for a woman!” 

Different country, totally different culture, a decade later...and exact same mindset!!! 

The only difference was that I wasn’t rattled by it this time..okay thats not true..maybe just a little rattled! I spent days complaining to my husband about this situation (anger), telling myself this is a one-off thing and it’ll be okay (denial), dreading taking the exit on the highway that led me to the facility every Monday (depression) and finally telling myself I’ve got to get my act together (acceptance). I reached out to a male colleague and asked for advice. Guess what i learnt? He was told by the same operator “this is no place for an Asian man!” WHAT?!! This happens to other people too?! 

So I planned an elaborate conversation in my head. I’d go back to Lucas and say this, and he’d respond with that, and I’d say this and he’d say that and I’d then make the parting shot that’ll shut him up forever and “make” him respect my talent. It was a foolproof plan. I walked in on a Monday morning being my most confident self, shedding my past vulnerabilities, and ready to confront him and was told that Lucas was let go. Darn it! I missed my opportunity! I didn’t get my closure and was disappointed I didn’t get to haul my pent up decade old resentment at him. I was positively sure I’d experience this phenomenon again in my career and would use it then.

3. The antithesis

A couple of years passed and I built more confidence with experience, well on my way to get over the imposter syndrome that a lot of women suffer from. The next time I had an operations facing role, I showed up at a gas plant 6 months pregnant. (This was also the time I learned there are no FRC’s (Fire Retardant Clothing) made for pregnant women, but that’s a topic for another day!) It was just a meet and greet trip, but there was a lot of fear and discomfort in my head, and doubly so. I was entering a space that I thought I was probably unwelcome in for being a woman, and here I was in my full feminine glory with a big belly. I still remember walking into the operators control room and seeing all the uncomfortable faces and the awkward handshakes! (Months later, I learned from the guys that no pregnant woman had ever stepped foot at that facility and that’s true to this date!) I waited for some distasteful comment to come my way....and....it didn’t. Once I started working more closely at the plant post my return from a brief maternity leave, I braced myself everyday for the attack...and none came! I couldn’t believe it. Over time, I built a beautiful relationship with my Texan operators. I cultivated my love for operations at this plant and to this day, respect and admire the guys I worked with. One day, I was having lunch with a couple of them and asked them how they felt about me working there as a female engineer. Their response baffled me. They said they didn’t think a “mom” could be so hands on in the plant. And one of them said my stories about my toddler made him respect his own wife’s role at home more than he did in the past. 

As a scientist, I should’ve known better..past experiences are not a fool-proof indication of future performance. 

4. Honesty is the best policy!            

I got the wonderful opportunity to perform vessel inspections at one point in my career. It was my first time doing so and there I was all ready to go in to take a look. Everything was perfect, except I had no clue how to put on my new harness to climb up to the vessel. I looked at the 10 contractors around me waiting for me to tell them the installation was okay so they could proceed with their next work order and I can’t describe how embarrassed I felt in that moment. I had poured over the training material and design drawings for days to perform the inspection but totally missed a critical piece that helps me get to the vessel! I decided to swallow my pride and told the guys “hey, I’m not sure how to put this on..can you help me?”. They looked at me like I was joking...until one of them nudged the other that I wasn’t! There were some smirks at the back too. Two of them walked up to me and awkwardly helped me put it on. I realized I lost 10 points from my credibility bucket instantly. I tried to make a joke to diffuse the situation, and I think that took away another 10 points and I probably became “that woman who had no clue”. Over the next few days that we worked together, I had to consciously work on showing up and establishing my presence and credibility with them. It took some time, but eventually it all worked out. Until that point, I had heard so many leaders talk about “fake it until you make it”. I realized that doesn’t always work. For me, honesty seemed like a better way to approach this situation and come out successful.

There is no shame in admitting the unknown and no greater joy than learning the unknown and proving one’s worth. 

5. Bonus story 

I share these specific experiences from a female perspective of being in operations. What about when you are in an office environment? I was once sharing with a male coworker in a hallway conversation about the weekend museum hours and how they are not conducive to work around toddler nap time. He goes “you should do what my wife does..just take your daughter on weekdays around 10am..they have the best story time!” I was flabbergasted! I asked him if he had ever been to the museum at story time on weekdays and he told me “of course not! I’m at work!”. Unbelievable! I went to one of my mentors and described the whole situation and how asinine it was that it didn’t occur to him that I was at the same job he was at! Or was he insinuating I should quit and be at home with my child? My mentor looked at me calmly and asked me what my response to him was. I said I didn’t say anything and just walked away under some pretext. She goes “Oooh you missed an incredible opportunity!”. What did she mean? Her philosophy was that when we experience a non-inclusive moment, we should use it as a teachable moment.

Putting things in perspective and sharing why this was distasteful is the only way to spread awareness and bring a change.

What an incredible thought! This was a game changer in how I think about inclusion and diversity and I’m thankful to my mentor for opening my eyes to this outlook. 

I'll end with one last thought: Always assume best intent. Everyone is biased towards something (yes, including me and you!) and everyone is facing a bias of some kind (also including me and you!). Starting from this place of assuming good intent helps get over the discomfort of being in new / unpleasant situations, get to the solution faster and build effective teams.  Churchill said it best:

“I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.”