Our Words

“A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small

rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of

the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can

accomplish nearly anything – or destroy it!”

I believe that as leaders one of the most important things that we can do is guard our words. We need to choose them wisely and issue them fairly. Our words are the one thing we can control, yet they are sometimes the hardest to control. In business, as in life we often face situations that cause us to make a coaching decision, and it’s in that moment that the words we say become so powerful. They will, at that moment add or diminish the buy in of the individual.

You’ve heard it said “Actions speak louder than words”, and this may be true, but words seemingly resonate longer. A year from now, you may not remember what someone did, but you will most certainly remember what they said. Leaders are people who have the ability to make those around them better, and if we aren’t paying attention to what we say, then what we do may be of minimal impact.

So how do we ensure that our words create the biggest positive impact with our teams? How do we ensure that every interaction that we have is adding value to the organization, to the team and ultimately to the individual? I believe it starts with this simple quote from Einstein:

“Everybody is a Genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”  -Albert Einstein

I think the key to effectively communicating, to effectively using our words to influence and aid someone else in their personal growth (and as a byproduct, the growth of the team), is understanding first, who they are, how they work, how they think and the ability to assess both their strengths and opportunities fairly and accurately. To Einstein’s analogy, if you expect a fish to climb a tree, well then you’re setting yourself (and that individual) up for a letdown.  It’s not fair to coach someone on something they were never capable of doing in the first place or know that they were expected to do. If I hired a fish, expecting them to climb a tree… well guess what? That’s not a bad job by the fish… that’s a bad job by me. 

So in order to use our words to create buy in and add value to the individual, we must:        

1.) Accurately assess each team member’s strengths and opportunities.

- A conversation is not “one size fits all”, it must be tailored to the individual, and don’t take the term “tailored” lightly. As much of an art as it is for a tailor to create a perfect fit in a garment, so it’s the same with a leader creating the perfect coaching conversation for a member of the team.

2.) Invest time, energy and effort into each team member’s growth.

- Growth takes time and often time it takes a leader stepping forward, verbally committing to development and spending time with team members. After accurately assessing strengths and opportunities, we need to build trust and understanding that communication and growth can only occur when both the leader and the team member are “all in” and invested in each other and then business. Often times verbally committing, is the first step to future success.

3.) Never underestimate the power of a kind word or uplifting coaching conversation.

For a team member who has shown commitment to growth, both personally, as a team and to the brand, regardless of a win or opportunity, it’s important to approach each conversation with either a kind word or an uplifting conversation. The words you say and how you say it can often times be the difference between building or breaking buy in. At the end of the day, if our words aren’t building someone up (regardless of circumstance and emotion) then chances are we aren’t creating or adding to buy in.

It was once said:

“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.”

Choose your words wisely, always make sure that your actions are prepared to back them up and remember that creating buy-in will ultimately determine the success of the individual, the success of the team and the success of our business as a whole!