Our Voices, Our Stories: Women Across Cultures and Generations Share Personal Insights on International Women's Day

International Women’s Day always fills me with excitement and anticipation. Growing up in Ukraine, the day was all about recognising the achievements of women, it was?the?holiday that celebrated all women of all ages, and that feeling of pride fills me every year as the 8th?of March approaches.?

While IWD celebrations have gained momentum worldwide in recent years, this hasn't always been the case, and different countries and cultures have had different expectations with regards to the role of a woman. My friend Elena Stocker and I were reminiscing about IWD celebrations from our younger years in Russia and Ukraine respectively, and decided to ask?some of our friends and family who are from different generations, cultural backgrounds, professions and industries, to share their reflections on what International Women’s Day means to them. And so here is a little multi-cultural and multi-generational cross-section of memories and anecdotes. I kept them exactly as they were written by the participating women in order to preserve their voices.??These stories are very personal and intimate, so do please bear this in mind and be kind and respectful should you choose to comment.?

I hope reading these will evoke your own memories and add another dimension to your celebration of the International Women’s Day.

Natalia Stansall

‘The Day of the 8th?of March’ as it was called when I was growing up in Ukraine in the 1980’s, brings memories of a cold dark early-spring morning, my dad and brother waking up early, trudging through the melting snow puddles to the nearby market to buy some fresh flowers for me and my mum. They always tried to get hyacinths,?mum’s favourites; I still try to find hyacinths for mum here in Sydney, although March in Australia is a bit too warm for hyacinths.

That day seemed to be filled with flowers. Riding a tram to school, I’d see long queues of people buying flowers at the flower market – daffodils, tulips, roses, wattle, lilacs. My mum was a high school teacher and so she’d come home carrying so many bunches of flowers from her students and colleagues that we could hardly see her face. I would typically then take some of them to our various neighbours because we didn’t own enough vases.

Growing up, I had a strong sense of gender equality. In school, we learned about the women's movement and women's rights, we celebrated our first woman in space and we knew the names of famous women scientists, artists, and, of course, revolutionaries from all over the world. I saw women and men working in equal numbers across all fields, with women even in my extended family worked as doctors, scientists, teachers, lecturers, and engineers. I never once doubted that I could work in whichever profession I chose. When, in my early 20’s, I decided to change my career from music to business, my dad always showed me full respect and trust for my business-related ideas and opinions;?not so much for my choice of boyfriends???.?

Having subsequently lived in different countries, I did come to the realisation that with all the Soviet-day gender equality (and equal pay), the top executive and government roles were still tightly held by men. Similarly, during my 25+ year career in UK and Australia, I also reflect that whilst I was lucky to enjoy the feeling of being treated as an equal, there has been a marked absence (and, later, shortage) of women in boardrooms, conferences, and in C-suite.

Over the past 10 years I have been fortunate to get involved in various initiatives that support growth and career development for women. The way we think of and support the professional development of women has been evolving alongside our understanding of our society and also as we learn from other,??more progressive cultures. And whilst at the start of this journey I learnt the importance of having mentors, sponsors, allies and growing my network, I have now also come to understand and appreciate what a difference?intentionality?makes. I see and feel that clearly in my current organisation, where, driven from the very top, leaders are encouraged to be brave and intentional in supporting diversity, equity and inclusion.?

Elena Stocker

“My childhood memories of IWD are of the Public holiday (hooray, no school!) and a frosty morning in the Siberian outback. Dad cursing in the kitchen and the smell of burning pancakes. Tulips and wattle hidden in the bathroom by dad (how original??) as a surprise for mum and I. Sore fingertips from sewing soft toy gifts for my mum and grandma (using fabric from my mum’s favourite skirt) and the warm feeling and pride of being a woman, which supported me through challenges in life and carrier.?

Choosing a profession based on gender never crossed my mind and being a woman never held me back in making career choices. Becoming a young engineer and travelling the world only confirmed this belief until … I moved to Australia in the late 1990’s. The first reality check was as a business development manager at an open meeting with a large manufacturing firm, the COO shaking the hand of my male colleague and gazing in my direction: “Hey mate. We expected an engineer, and they sent us a WOMAN!” I felt sorry for the guy but challenged at the same time. Over the years as business grew, we became good friends and every time when he asked me for my professional opinion on engineering topics we would laugh as I could not resist asking whether he had consulted the male engineer first???.??

I was also shaken when I later learnt from my future mother-in-law, Elaine, that she had to quit her job when she got married in early 1960’s, as it was a legal requirement in Australia back then. Talking to an elderly neighbour, Pat, recently on the subject of gender inequality, she was still bitter that as a young woman she could not be called a farmer, but instead was a ‘farmer’s helper’, simply because she was a woman.

Through my professional journey, I have seen major changes in Australia over the last 25 years, with an increase in female talent in the engineering field, including some brilliant mechanical engineering interns I have been lucky enough to work with and mentor over the last few years. There are now more women in management and on boards, particularly in historically male dominated industries and I love that this International Women’s Day, now fully celebrated in Australia, I get to share the joy and pride that I have felt since I first started out all those years ago, with a whole new generation of talented and inspiring women”.

Jade Wang

“IWD holds a very special significance for me. I was born in the 1980’s when China had a very strict single-child policy. According to statistics, the baby boy to girl ratio in my year of birth was 109:100. Despite the strong societal preference for boys, my mom decided to keep me as the only child because my parents would have lost their jobs if they had another child. (My mom, being an accountant, must have found it very difficult to tally up the costs, emotional and financial, of losing their jobs vs not having another child).?

I remember our neighbours and friends asking my mom why she didn't have another child, meaning a boy. Mom would tell me, "You are nothing less than a boy to dad and me. You are smart, capable and competent. You are much better than a boy to me. I feel complete just with you as my child."

My mom and dad instilled in me the belief that I could achieve anything I set my mind to. They invested heavily in my education, which they deemed to be the most important thing for my future.

When I decided to move to Australia with my husband 8 years ago, many of our relatives and family friends didn't understand why my parents were not opposed to this idea. It was deemed to be daughters’ responsibility to take care of their parents, and I couldn't do it from far away. My parents said to me, "As long as this is what you want, we support you to explore the world and have more adventures. Don't let the noise bother you. What we want is for you to be happy."

I am grateful to have parents who support, nurture, and love me despite the societal pressures. I know I am one of the lucky few who can choose to live a normal and ‘boring’ life in a place we love, while many can't.

Looking back, I don't know how many times my dad came home from work at hospitals and told us about baby girls being abandoned in the hospital as soon as they were born. I don't know how many of my high school friends had to drop out of school, despite strong academic performance, because their parents couldn't afford more than one child's education expenses and had to give the opportunity to their younger brother. I don’t remember how many times people commented on what a girl should or should not do. I don't know how many stories I've heard about men inheriting everything from their parents while the women got none or very little. I don't remember how many female relatives and girlfriends told me that their husbands didn't share housework or parenting at all, and they ended up taking care of kids and doing everything at home on their own.

When we talk about gender equality, those who suffer the most from gender inequality often don't realise it or have a voice about it.?Even worse, some never even had a chance to arrive in this world and make a sound.

As a mom of two girls and an HR professional, I am acutely aware that, whilst we have come a long way in the fight for gender equity, there is still much work to be done. I am committed to creating a better world for future generations by promoting gender equality and passing on the message of independence and competency, in the workplace and at home, to my own children.”

Anne, my mother-in-law, remembers moving to London from Southern Ireland in 1953 on her father’s insistence.

“My Dad, a research scientist, had been in the RAF and wanted our family to live in the UK, while my mother’s wealthy family wanted us to remain in Ireland. From the day we arrived in London life changed, women in the UK had been through the Second World War and had worked very hard during the war in jobs that previously were seen as jobs only for men. These jobs ranged from being in the land army to code breaking, delivering aeroplanes and just keeping food on the table. After the war these very strong women wanted to carry on holding the reins and having the freedom to carry on working.?

London was wonderful and bright and cheerful with a very happy population that summer. It was amazing what women were able to achieve and the support they got from each other. All through the 1960’s women in the UK fought for equal pay with the male workforce and sometimes it took a long time to get it. For me as a young woman it was the most wonderful time - with job training, travel and a great social life, because women stuck up for their rights and achieved a very hard earned equality.

I now support a charity which gives dignity to women by providing personal and hygiene items and education. In my view women who have achieved so much by demanding equality should help women and girls who are only just beginning to have rights.”

Georgina Gowland

“When I was growing up in New Zealand in the 1980’s, international beauty pageants were still big. One time, a pageant was held in my hometown of Christchurch. It was at the Town Hall and televised live. A group of women went to the Town Hall and threw live mice at the contestants in protest. It was all over the news the next day. I felt very sorry for the poor mice. On the other hand, I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going to fit in a world where the pinnacle of female achievement was a few body measurements and a swimsuit.

I haven’t seen or heard of a beauty pageant in years. Recently, I had to explain to my teenage daughter what they even were. She laughed in disbelief.?

On IWD I think about how we recognise and celebrate the true depth and breadth of female achievement. Beauty pageants still exist (I think). They didn't get legislated out of existence or cancelled. We simply lifted our eyes to a much bigger horizon. Yes, there is still a lot to do, but we have come a long way. And I remember the mice.”

Shelley Dennis

“My childhood and school years took place in a bubble - South Africa at the time was in the middle?of Apartheid, and the older generation were doing all in their power to keep some order of normality while keeping the majority of the population under severe controls.??

Thinking of IWD takes me, immediately and very strongly, back to my parents - I think they were different to those of many of my peers and I attribute all that I am to them.??

From day 1 my parents treated me as an equal to my brother. I played cricket with him, and he played barbie dolls with me. My dad taught me to change plugs and car tyres, and it was assumed that if I wanted to study at university, there was nothing they would not do to help me afford it.?In fact, dad basically assumed that I would study after school - something not many women did?in those years.

I was so driven, I wanted to be the first woman in our family to get a degree.?My mother was relentless in her support of my dream - I was holding down numerous jobs while trying to stay in University, and Mom got a job at the university part time to help reduce my fees.?And she let me do very little chores at home - insisting that I focus on my studies and telling me not to worry because once I had my own home, I would have plenty of time to have those responsibilities.?Mom and dad were so traditional in their own marriage with clearly defined roles, and I always wondered how they could settle for those roles for themselves and yet want a very different life for me.

So one day mom was cooking and she looked so tired, and dad had come home after work and had his feet up watching?TV.?I said to mom, as only a teenage child can, something to the effect of "When I am married and working, there is no way I will be in a situation like this where I am essentially serving my husband". (In hindsight I am mortified at how rude and presumptuous and condescending that must have sounded.)?I said something to the effect that women and men should be equal!?Mom so quietly and dignified said to me that she agreed that men and women should be equal, equal to make decisions that are true and right for them without needing to prove anything to anyone.?Mom said that yes, there were times she wished that dad helped out a bit more, but that she was happy with all her choices and her actions.?That she loved being a homemaker and having the freedom to do charity work, and create a social life for her family, and know that she was completely engaged with her children.?That she could work full time if she wanted and that my dad would support her if that is what she wanted - but that she was comfortable?with her life and choices - and that is to her what women's equality meant.?

I have never forgotten this - the learning that equality means choice - and judgement on what we think that choice should look like should be passed with caution.?I know that the bigger picture can be more complicated, but to me IWD is a celebration of choice and the diversity of that choice.”

Ashna Nain

“For a lot of the women back in India, the future is predetermined. Every girl grows up knowing she’s going to be married to a boy most likely chosen by her parents, which will seal her fate. Even choosing to love and prosper on your own terms can be termed rebellious. So this is exactly what I chose to be.

One of the watershed events that defined the kind of character I would take on as a woman was at my grandmother’s dining table in the south of Delhi, where I’m from. This was around 1999 and I just turned 5. With gender roles implicitly defined, women took on cooking in the kitchen while men bantered about politics at the dining table. I wondered why men got to eat first. This didn’t sit right with me and so I immediately sat at the table with them. Ever since, I defied the gender placements that deployed me to certain duties and vowed to go after the world that existed beyond the kitchen.

Today I am celebrating IWD with my amazing colleagues hoping to inspire another generation of women to get the first seat at the dining table.”

All these stories are different in many ways and yet have some things in common – sacrifices that our parents made to ensure a better future for their daughters; our personal drive and determination to have choices and to realise our potential; pride for how much has been achieved in terms of gender equity and realisation of how much there is still to do; and a desire to make the world an even more equitable place for the next generation.?

So today, to all women, Happy International Women’s Day! We celebrate with you and invite you to lean in and be the change you want to see.?

To all the allies, mentors, sponsors, colleagues, managers, friends, partners, family, thank you for all your continuing help and support.?

If you got this far in reading this, thank you for taking the time (you are the true supporters???), and I hope that reading this brought a smile to your face. Do please share your own memories and reflections.?

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