Our Updated StopCyberbullying Toolkit - Some Help for Schools (don't worry, it's free!)

For schools as classes begin - we're finally almost done with our updated StopCyberbullying Toolkit. Please pass it on to all teachers, school administrators and personnel...as updated we'll be posting more here on @linkedin.

Cyberbullying is a growing problem. And, sadly, one we don’t think will resolve itself soon. The statistics vary, given the lack of a clear definition by both the researchers and in the minds of the respondents. Everyone defines “cyberbullying” in their own personal way. Students tend to cover up the extent of a cyber-problem when they think parents may find out, as well. But educators and school administrators don’t need to review the latest study to know how big a problem it is. They live it every day.

In my polls of more than 40,000 middle-schoolers across the US and Canada, more than 85% of the students polled admitted to being cyberbullied one way or another over the previously year. In a smaller poll, 70% admitted to cyberbullying others. Yet, students actively to hide it when targeted. Only 5% of the middle-schoolers polled said they would tell their parents and gave 70+ reasons for not entrusting them – ranging from fearing that they will overreact to or under-appreciate the situation. (My Goldilocks and the Cyber-Parents article helps parents understand how to set the right tone of caring without freaking out. It is located on StopCyberbullying.org.)

When asked about cyberbullying, students tell us that they never know if the cyberbully is their best friend or worst enemy. (According to our surveys, 71% of cyberbullies know their victims pretty well (friends, classmates or friends of real life friends.) The anonymity allows anyone, even victims of offline bullies, to be online thugs, vengeful angels and mean girls. Unspoken prejudices, biases, frustrations and jealousies feed the online hurt, attacks and violence. NIH studies show that victims of cyberbullying have much higher rates of depression than their offline bullying victim counterparts. (a copy of which is located at https://www.nih.gov/news/health/sep2010/nichd-21.htm and expanded in our “Depression in Cyberbullying.”)

The rate of suicides is higher as well. (https://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2010/11/15/prl21115.htm) Why? 

Cyberbullies take their victims as they find them, many of whom are vulnerable, depressed, emotionally scarred and otherwise at risk. And even for those facing a tough emotional time, it can be inescapable. It follows you from school to home to the mall to Grandma’s house and back. It follows you into the comfort of your bedroom. When you change schools, it follows you through online networks to the new school, connecting potential cyberbullies to the historical ones. There is no safe place to hide when our students are connected 24/7. And there is no fresh start when your Instagram account moves with you to a new town and school.

And students are re-victimized every time they revisit the “scene of the cybercrime.” They are lured back to the hateful messages, images, comments and rumors being posted about them. They click on cellphone messages sent long before. And every time they do, they are hurt again, frightened again and face things alone one more time. Its pervasive nature is what makes it so deadly.

Cyberbullying starts in second, third and fourth grade, explodes in middle school when reputations are being forged, changed and communicated. Sexual preference, sexual harassment, STDs and promiscuity are popular themes of cyberbullying in middle school, continuing in high school.

Typically, students in high school become less dramatic when cyberbullied. By then they have learned to live with it or fake it better. When asked, they tell us cyberbullying doesn’t happen in high school – “it’s so middle school!” Yet, while they hate calling it “cyberbullying” (calling it “digital drama” or “life” instead), they admit that they still are targeted and target others using digital devices. Cyberbullying in high school typically involves digital dating abuse, sextortion/sextbullying and privacy invasions. In many communities, allowing teens in high school to define the issue without having to use the term “cyberbullying” brings more buy-in.

Sadly, whatever we call it, cyberbullying starts early and lasts a lifetime. It begins with stolen passwords used to trash their game accounts or steal their virtual goods and ends with webcam spies. It spreads like wildfire, sometimes resulting in or contributing to suicide, murder, assaults with a deadly weapon, self-harm and other school violence. It moves online to offline and back again and it always hurts. While the media focuses on the more egregious cases, most are much lower profile, hurting feelings, wounding self-esteem and creating social exclusion. But they hurt nonetheless.

Best friends armed with passwords and secrets, when a falling out occurs, can do serious damage. The lack of impulse control and the ever-on digital communication and imaging technologies are a deadly combination. Our kids are carrying around more technology in their backpacks, pockets and purses than most large corporations had in their IT departments a few years ago. Couple that with boredom, the lack of culpability, and students using digital technology beyond their digital literacy skills, and “we have a problem, Houston!” They choose passwords that are easy-pickings for classmates who know their pet’s name, their middle name or their birthdate.

WiredSafety’s volunteers began helping victims of cyberbullying and cyberstalking in 1995, before any others. As our work became more formalized and we became a charity, the expertise grew with the technology, digital communication networks and broadening user-base. 

When young people began to use the Internet in geometrically-increasing numbers in 1996-8, instances of cyberbullying (minor to minor) mirrored that growth. Cellphone became smarter. Gaming devices used webcams and live voice chat. Non-phones became VOIP Internet phones and powerful mobile devices landed up in the hands of our 5-6 year-olds. As mobile plans became unlimited and more affordable, young people no longer used a desktop located in the family room. In fact, young people rarely use desktops at all, taking powerful desktop substitute laptops, netbooks, tablets and handhelds with them wherever they go.

Students working with WiredSafety have identified more than 74 different ways a cell phone can be used to cyberbully someone. No parents, teachers, school resource officers, school administrators, guidance counselors or board counsel can keep up on their own. 

That’s why we’re redesigning our StopCyberbullying Toolkit for schools. We'll be launching our StopCyberbullying App in November as well, which has a track for teachers and school administrators designed by teachers and school administrators.

The solution has to start with the schools. Schools are the community hubs. They are also on the cyberbullying front lines. When students launch a cyberbullying attack from home, the mall, or a slumber party, it quickly works its way into the school. It might be through messaging copied and brought into school, mobs of students logging onto the offensive profile from school computers, surveillance videos in the locker room or flared tempers leading to traditional bullying following the cyber-version. Schoolyard bullying moves online and back again.

Schools are the crossroads for students, parents, the community and law enforcement. Supplying you with the resources and information you need to develop the right program and approach for your school and community, we believe, is the best way to facilitate solutions.

At the same time, I feel guilty dumping one more responsibility onto already over-burdened teachers and schools. Never before have schools been faced with the responsibilities they currently face – good teachers leaving the profession for fair-pay in the outside sector, legal risks and limited parental support and involvement, being ranked based on how they can teach to a test, over-crowded classrooms in one neighborhood and empty schools across town.

Add to that the dual edged sword of technology promises and risks coupled with limited funding and professional development training. From being required to teach to tests, increased scrutiny for teachers and teaching methods, and having to retool to adjust to 21st century skill requirements on a 20th century budget and with 20th century training, schools are challenged more than ever before. So, this StopCyberbullying Toolkit is designed to help you accomplish your goal of creating a safer learning environment, maintaining classroom control and inspire students to learn, share and commit to the future. And it will be provided without charge as an Internet download.

There are special roles for everyone in the educational system when it comes to helping keep our children safe, from the school boards and district superintendents, to the principals, guidance counselors, technology educators, librarians and library media specialists, coaches and physical education teachers, school bus drivers and crossing guards, school resource officers and network administrators, to the students, parents, and third-party technology providers. 

The StopCyberbullying Toolkit contains materials, information, and resources for all of them. And it's free and without advertising.

While some schools are seeking a broader program on cybersafety, including cyberbullying, others have asked for shorter activities and learning modules that provide more flexibility in timing and delivery. The StopCyberbullying Toolkit provides both. And, most importantly, it provides a framework for getting students engaged and empowered.

All of this was created by my volunteers and supporters at WiredSafety (the world’s oldest and largest cybersafety charity), WiredSafety’s award-winning Teenangels (Teenangels.org) and Tweenangels (Tweenangels.org), and our strategic partners and sponsors with some help from me, as an author and Internet privacy and security lawyer.

We want to also point out the special content provided to us by the National Crime Prevention Council (the great people who bring us McGruff the crime fighting dog), the Anti-Defamation League (which has been fighting intolerance and hate forever), MTV, the Ad Council, Michelle Borba, a leading expert and author on self-esteem and bullying issues, Barbara Colorosa, Rachel Simmons, Roselynn Wiseman and the parents of Jessie Logan, Rehteah Parsons, Amanda Todd and Jeff Johnson (suicide casualties of cyberbullying). We are grateful for their help and support and feel their child’s loss and the loss of all others falling to cyberbullying or living lives with the pain of cyberbullying.

This StopCyberbullying Toolkit has been in the works for eight and 1/2 years. Every time we thought we had it completed, a new cyberabuse surfaced (such as sexting), new technologies are released (such as anonymous social platforms) and the risks grow (with increasing privacy invasions). Five years ago it was first published. And this is it's frist entire re-write.

Even with this major overhaul, things continue to change, so, expect frequent updates. You can sign up for update alerts or just download updates when you need to. We hope that through our working together, and your sharing your approaches to stopping cyberbullying, that we can forge solutions that work for all stakeholders.

And, there is hope. One of my chapters of Teenangels many years ago, graduated with Tyler Clementi from Ridgewood High School in New Jersey (a high-profile suicide of a college freshman from NJ related to hidden video surveillance shared by his roommate of Tyler's intimate homosexual relations). These teens were devastated by his tragic suicide and the pain of betrayal that brought him to the George Washington Bridge that day. 

They, together with other chapters of Teenangels in Franklin, Massachusetts, created the “Don’t Stand By, Stand Up!” campaign designed to mobilized bystanders into being part of the solution, instead of being part of the problem. Dr. Phil featured the program on his show seven years ago and it continues to touch young people and motivate them around the world. Young people who believe in their role to support targets and stand up against hurt. They have and will continue to help spread the word.

Governmental agencies are getting involved too, around the world, as has the UN. 

Finally, twelve years following our launching of StopCyberbullying.org and 23 years after we began helping victims of cyberharassment of all ages, at long last the spotlight is on bullying and cyberbullying! With so many talented stakeholders concentrating and collaborating, expect serious progress.

We hope the updated StopCyberbullying Toolkit will help. And we look forward to getting your help in return. Share your experiences, ideas and initiatives. Together we can make a difference. Join our WiredSafety Cybersafe Schools initiative or StopCyberbullying Coalition to stay informed and keep us informed about your important work in cyberbullying. Reach out to me here, in a comment, by inmail or email - [email protected]. It is a big problem and needs a big cyberarmy to tackle it. We need you, and so do the kids.

To teachers everywhere and especially the unsung heroes in schools, our librarians and library-media-specialists, thank you for dedicating your lives to helping educate and groom our children to be better people, to ask the right questions and know where to look for answers, to become better cyber-citizens and be better prepared to lead when their time comes.

Sincerely,

Parry Aftab, J.D., Esq.,

Founder and Executive Director,

WiredSafety, StopCyberbullying, Cybersafety India and Cybersafety Global