Our Taxes Paid for My Aunt's Funeral

On a week night in September 2017, my grandmother called me. The late night timing of the call worried me - my grandma never calls me after 11 PM. In her usual dignified and calm voice, she informed me that my aunt was in the hospital, and she asked me to come be with them.

When I arrived at the hospital, my aunt was in surgery. My cousin, and my grandma sat in the waiting room. During times of intense stress, I default to jokes. It is a gift, I suppose, to create laughter when all I want to do is cry. But that was not the time to be a child - I was no longer my grandmother's eldest granddaughter, or my cousin's older prima. Emotions could not control me - I had to be the rock for my family to lean on as we waited for the doctor to return.

Shattering my grandmother's heart, and breaking my cousin's soul, my aunt died that night. Cancer attacked her body; poverty, a lack of insurance, and fear cut her life short.

That night, I had to drive to my parent's house, knock on their bedroom window, wake up my dad, and tell him that his older sister was gone. Typing those words still brings tears to my eyes.

The next two weeks were a blur - an exhausting, emotionally draining, sad, and frustrating nightmare. However, I share all of this because the bright, beaming, beautiful light in all of this darkness was local government, and you - the taxpayer.

Before we left the hospital, the staff gave us information about funeral homes, support services, and assistance programs. One of those brochures informed us of the Bexar County Pauper Burial Program - a horrible name (who uses the word pauper nowadays?), but a program that is unbelievably generous, compassionate, and quick to assist Bexar County residents in their saddest time of need.

However, the website was woefully outdated. The phone number did not work. There was not an online contact form. So, even in the middle of planning a funeral for the first time in my life, guess what I had to do? Rely on networks I built with information gathered during my job search - one of whom was Jordana Decamps, former Bexar County employee. See - I could not afford to pay for the funeral because I was unemployed. Other family members had zero savings, lots of debt, and low incomes (some are retired, some are disabled, some are in the military, and others are living in poverty).

Jordana connected me to Linda, a Client Services Manager at the Bexar County Department of Economic and Community Development. Linda responded quickly, scheduled an appointment with my cousin/the next of kin, and voila! Through the Bexar County Pauper Burial Program, our family had the means to buy a burial plot, hold a memorial service, and bury my aunt. We said goodbye to our dear Sandra with dignity, with pride, with love.

I want to be very clear here - our tax dollars went directly from the County to the funeral home. There is only one funeral home, and one cemetery that works with this program. We traded choice for security. We sacrificed options for certainty. We did not receive any funding directly.

In fact, before we were connected to the County, I visited with several funeral homes, including the one we used. None of them had their prices online. None of them would offer pricing on the phone. None of them would email me a menu of options. None of them would speak with me if I was not the next of kin, which was infuriating. Because I refused to allow my grandma and cousin to attend any of these meetings, I lied in order to secure an in-person appointment, review a menu of options in person, and receive information in person. The mortuary business industry preys upon the emotional wreckage of people grieving the loss of a loved one.

My point is that the County - local government - transcended all of that drama when they stepped in to assist an honest, hard-working family who could not afford a $5,000+ funeral. No one preyed on our emotions. No one withheld information. You, the Bexar County taxpayer - your taxes funded this program. Death is expensive, and I still cannot believe this program exists - it is a wonderful example of our strong and unique democratic and representative government. This program exemplifies the very best that the United States of America has to offer, and the generosity of our fellow residents amazes me to this day. Our very own taxes protected us, and took a huge burden off of our shoulders. Thank God for those of us who pay taxes!

If you or someone you know cannot afford a funeral, please reach out to Linda at 210-335-3705.