Our Son’s Wedding…. Leadership… A Sunday Message from the Soul

Well, my incredible son married his soulmate Saturday night! She wasn’t the girl of his dreams. She was far beyond any of his dreams! I know she would say the same about him. Each of their souls illuminates a room with a special spirit, kindness, humility, genuineness and so much more. When together, there is something electric in the air! They were made for each other! Wow! It was a magical couple of days!

On my way home today, something hit me. I try to always write from a place within my soul. This post comes from down deep.

Last Thursday afternoon, I quietly slipped downstairs to our basement. I looked through many photos of my son over his entire lifetime. I found myself lost in so many moments. The hours passed quickly. It was the perfect beginning for a wedding weekend!

Look at the photo on the left. That's the three of us soon after he was born. As a parent, suddenly a new life comes into your journey. Priorities change instantly! Over many years and many stages, you protect, nurture and teach the little one. Every moment is enjoyed and cherished. There is always a long term view of the lessons needed to fulfill the development of this special new soul. You gladly give every ounce of your being to this little one.

As the baby becomes a young person, one then has to continue the process, making sure to introduce freedom and the ability to fail. When wrong choices are made or when failures occur, we, as parents, are always there to look back with them and talk so that the road might be avoided in the future via a lesson learned. When good choices are made, there are wonderful discussions there as well. The key is to keep a view on the long term goals and to help them paint THEIR canvas, building on the fundamentals of what is good in life - Humility, Kindness, Sincerity, Respect, Love of Others, Principle "Centeredness", etc. It's also important to teach them to dream!

If you have multiple children, you know that one process does not fit all!

When one comes to this moment of marriage as my wife and I did last night, I found myself looking at this young man and saying, “He is the son I absolutely don’t deserve. He is beyond any dream I ever had of what my children might be like. He is way beyond me in every single way!” It was a special feeling!

From his side as Best Man, I looked towards his mother and sister. They have been major forces in his life, far beyond me. Over many years, they invested in him - massively! I then looked at a host of people in the audience. Most all of them had major points of influence on my son. Many examples came to mind during the service. Each face I saw was a part of this beautiful soul's development.

So, what about this leadership thing? How does the above relate to it?

If you are the sort who says, “I give a person a target and they sink or swim” This post is not for you.

The aforementioned parental role is found in the best leaders I have ever known. Targets, Goals… Well, the best leaders I have known dreamed big and expected their team to exceed them! Their teams did it far more regularly than the teams of the disengaged type of leader.

Micromanage. NOPE! The best leaders were there with just the right dose of discussion, wisdom, comfort, challenge, motivation and, when needed, a wake-up call. Other key topics included empowerment and accountability.

The best leaders I have had cared deeply - FAR beyond words. They wanted to build leaders over time who would exceed them in every way. Their fulfillment came from investing in others and watching them grow. If these leaders encountered those who just went through the motions and wouldn't change this view, they dealt with such issues head on. Great leaders never run from things that need to be hit head-on.

Competitors - I have seen self proclaimed competitors. The humble giant leaders who were fiercely focused on their team's development cut through the talkers like a hot knife through butter. Why? Because, the best leaders' efforts were FAR greater than building self. Self was the last thing on their minds! They unleashed the full power of their empowered leaders on the fragmented talkers. And, their leaders were ALWAYs getting better!

The following quote from Carnegie was once said about the greatest leader I ever knew after he led his company to achieve an impossible feat:

"Take away my people, but leave my factories and soon grass will grow on the factory floors……Take away my factories, but leave my people and soon we will have a new and better factory.”

That hero and other great leaders I have known lived this every day of their careers! They loved the “marriage days” when their leaders that they had invested in took the next step! The look on their face was like the one on mine as I looked at my son - thinking back to the many steps the "child" had taken to get to this point. When their students abilities/wisdom exceeded their own, well, there was incredible joy for the great leaders!

Is this easy? Nope. It takes all of a leader! It's worth every ounce of effort! I can't imagine coming to the end of a life and having a cold, heartless journey focused on self!

When life ends, well, the story of a leader's life is best told in the leaders they build over their journey. When it ends, always note the long list of leaders who express their love of these special souls and who celebrate the fact that they walked with such a giant!

Have a great week!