Our Relationship with Stress! (Part 3)
Jens Cole, Certified Professional Coach, ELI-MP, MDR
Coaching you to Captain your Mindsets, Commitments, and Actions! ~ Certified Professional Coach | Performance Specialist | Masters in Dispute Resolution | sports fanatic & performance junky
Happy Tuesday friends! Today's?Newsletter?is all about?STRESS?(Part 3)! Below you'll find:
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A THOUGHT TO CONTEMPLATE
??Welcome to Part 3 of this newsletter series on Stress!
Last week I asserted the importance of Stress Management and how it's?an amazing tool to use for being in more of a partnership with your stress rather than it controlling you.
??BUT the?ultimate?process in the journey with stress, the one that people invest thousands of dollars in, and where extreme levels of focused, professional support are needed, is learning to change our?inner belief system!!
??By seeing challenges and difficulties differently - more positively and open-mindedly - we can shift our stress response to responses of curiosity, intrigue, creativity, and composed action.?
When we are in the driver seat of stress, we can use it as a tool, we can consciously use it as a way to support us, to serve us, and fuel us in moments where WE FEEL we need it.
??And then because we are in the driver seat of stress, stress won't be in our way, stress won't be impeding us from focusing when we need passion, joy, energy, intrigue, curiosity to drive us
??While we can do good work under stress, our best work is done when we are not being inhibited by doubt, skepticism, fear, frustration, anger but when we are being moved by intuition, clarity, confidence, passion, etc.
We experience situations where we feel unprepared, a lack of control on the situation and its variables, and scared of what could happen next. And while it is normal and common, it is not something we have to?settle?for!
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So ask yourself:
??Is this worth stressing over?
??Is stressing over this circumstance serving me and my journey? OR is it actually hindering me, blurring my vision, and disturbing my open-mindedness and capabilities?
You have to take?control?of your mind AND body, rather than be a victim to precedent and past programming…
??You will still continue to perceive the very stressful experience you dealt with as stressful?until?you re-teach yourself and re-learn how to perceive that subject differently.?
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??The stress doesn't change until the relationship you have with your stress-perception changes.?
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Having tools to regulate the stress in the moment and after the fact is so important, but actually changing your perception of the subjects, of the experiences, in your life that you have subconsciously believed to be stressful up until now is a complete new ball game
?What would your life be like if you could internally shift in ways so that you don't find those things stressful anymore and don't waste time in a stress response when you don't need to??
?How helpful would that be? What could you do in your life with anger, fear, and stress out of your way?
Unfortunately, most don't want to invest in the time and energy to move through a process that could help them bring consciousness, awareness, clarity, and genuine change to their relationship with stress and reap ALL the benefits that come from that process.
??So we find ways to “just deal with it” without actually fixing the problem.?
Simply put a bandaid on it until the next sore pops up.??
But the problem is the sore will pop, the stress will reinstate itself in your life and you will be back to square 1.?
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And so it comes a “lesser of two evils” scenario.?
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??Years and years of research has shown us that our thoughts - our brain’s patterns of thinking - our perceptions, how we perceive things to be, and the definitions we assign to the various aspects and elements of our life, directly (neuro-chemically) influence our feelings and emotions.
If we believe that challenge and difficulty is burdensome, a point of conflict, “bad”, “unfair”, than we will experience feelings and emotions such as anger, bitterness, sadness
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And those feelings and emotions help us assign the response, behavior, action that we believe we need to take in order to meet the needs of those feelings.?
To alleviate or remedy those emotions.?
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So you respond through detachment, competition, fighting, quitting, irritability, etc.
??But what if you assigned a different definition to challenge and difficulty?
?What if you had a system to intentionally work on reframing your perception of a topic like challenge and difficulty??
?What if you worked on truly believing that challenge and difficulty was a gift, a blessing, a reason to be joyful? What would you experience emotionally? Happiness, gratitude, joy, peace, contentment, excitement, passion??
?And how would those emotions and feelings influence your actions??
?You’d likely want to step INTO the challenge, perform at your highest level, embrace it wholeheartedly rather than run away from it or resist it in conflict with it!
This is the crazy, mind-blowing part to me!
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Yet it does take and energy…because our brains are wired around creating systems, creating processes and habits, gluing all together into an inner-program.?
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??And when that inner-program has been establishing itself for multiple years, hardening in its wiring, it can be really alarming to your brain when you begin to REWIRE. And thus the stress response kicks in.?
领英推荐
?BUT, like any other habit, if you truly commit the time, energy, and intention the rewiring will begin to harden, cement, and re-establish itself neurologically.?
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The point is: Changing your mindsets, perception, thought-patterns, and your belief system is not simple and it is not super clear how slow or how fast it actually takes, but it's SO possible.?
??Especially when you have professional support from someone who can create a space for you to explore your belief system, filter out the ones that are serving and ones that are unserving, and provide tools, exercises, and empowering questions to reframe those that are unserving.
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??When you come into the awareness that much of your relationship with stress?is dictated by our belief system?- by the definitions, perceptions, and conclusions towards subjects that we believe are stressful - you begin to realize?how much agency and control?you do indeed have, not only in preventing stress responses but also minimizing it in the moment, when it is not helpful.
??Quite simply: If you did not believe it to be stressful, you would not be stressed about it
It's the BELIEF that whatever subject you are stressed about is a hindrance, an obstacle, a danger, and is something that needs to be worried over, frustrated, prepared for, and fought against, that drives the stress cycle.
Our subconscious mind keeps a record of regular occurrences and patterns, like a sponge, and can develop the belief that:?
frequency = normalcy?
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But JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING HAPPENS FREQUENTLY DOES NOT MEAN ITS “NORMAL”, AND IT DEFINITELY DOES NOT MEAN IT IS RIGHT, IN GENERAL, OR SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU
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A QUOTE I HAVE BEEN ENJOYING
"You cannot see your reflection in boiling water. Similarly, you cannot see the TRUTH in a state of anger. When the waters calm, clarity comes"
TIP OF THE WEEK
Reflect & Journal:
What is one area of your life (family, business, career, friends, health, finances, faith, etc.) that you feel stress around?
What would you do with it, if you did not feel stress (anger, frustration, fear)? How would it be different in your life if you did not perceive it as stressful??
What are 1 or 2 steps you can take to shift the way you are viewing this area of your life??
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RESOURCES I HAVE BEEN PUMPED ABOUT
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WINS FROM THE WEEK
Super happy being able to officially post the FULL Shifted podcast episode with Azizull on?YouTube !
If you are interested in learning more about coaching, know you need support and want to get started, or if you want to take advantage of a FREE 30-minute Goal-Setting Breakthrough session, message me directly using the link below!
??Coaching empowers you through empowering question asking, thought-exercises, and accountability to consciously choose the mindsets you want to be in, actions and responses you take, and the emotions, feelings, ENERGY you wish to live in!
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??A coach, I can help address the root cause of the blocks that are preventing you from unleashing your full potential, performance, creativity, and sustainable sense of fulfillment and purpose!
??As a Life and Mindset Coach myself, I partner with you to maximize YOU
??Maximize your thought-patterns, beliefs, and mindsets to align with your true potential and your authentic energy
??Maximize your performance around the goals and dreams you have?
??Maximize your stress management so you can enjoy more time in joy, passion, creativity, and mindfulness, to get what you NEED from stress but not let IT control YOU
??Maximize your authentic BEING
??By tapping into your mindset and your neuroscience, energies, and behaviors I can help you clarify that which is serving and useful, while releasing that which is not!!
In doing so, coaching can?
??Help to bolster an intentional and fulfilled life
??Create the changes and YOUR systems of success
??Set CLEAR goals and achieve results enjoyably and energetically
??Overcome obstacles, fears, self-limiting beliefs, and gain new insights?
??Discover and learn to BE YOU
??Live a life you Love
Whether through service or reminder, my goal is to help people consciously, authentically, and energetically BE alive, control stress and judgment, and maximize joy, passion, creativity, wisdom, and productivity