Our Most Common Communication Challenges

Original post from?December?2,?2021

What is your greatest communication challenge??

Given that we communicate daily and have even before we learned to speak, it should be as easy as blinking our eyes.

Yet each of us has at least one of the following common communication challenges.?

I facilitated a communications workshop yesterday, and everyone shared their most significant communication challenges. This post is an overview of many of the ideas we shared.

Giving?criticism or confronting?people.

One of the best books on the subject is Crucial Conversations.?Focus on criticizing the behavior, NOT the person.?

See yourself as a coach or an ally. We owe it to others to let them know where they stand and help them grow. Be the coach, not the cop.?

Standing?your ground.

The next time you don't hold your ground, leave a conversation saying to yourself, "What I should have said," remember it, and commit to saying it in a similar situation.?

Also, be prepared to say "It is okay that you disagree with me, but I don't deserve to be treated this way. I will get back to you when I'm ready to respond and you're prepared to listen, not criticize."?

Staying in Touch.

In my 20s, I decided to take 100% responsibility to stay in touch with the people I most care about. I look at it as the same as having a garden that must be nourished. We're all busy, and it's easy to let friendships die over time.?

With social media, staying in touch is easier than ever, especially on birthdays and special events. Whenever I drive to buy groceries, I call my sister or a friend I've known for 50 years. It's a ritual I cherish.(Update: That was before we moved to Mexico).

Easier doing?things myself.

Delegate, but don't abdicate. We only have so much bandwidth. Teaching or training is front-end loaded, and it empowers those we trust. Depending on our responsibilities, for example, if you're an entrepreneur or manager, it may take a village. You cannot scale without the support of others.?

Focus on your Zone of Genius, let others focus on theirs, and lift the load from your shoulders.

Getting to the point.

Recently, I coached someone who struggled to get to the point. It's a sign of insecurity, and it causes others to stop listening.

Pause, think what you want to say, and say it once and STOP.

Dealing with emotions.

Warren Buffett has said that the best advice he ever received was to wait 24 hours before responding to something that upset him. I've embraced this approach, and it's given me the time to let my negative or angry emotions pass and focus on what I want to achieve.?

In communications, we hear something and tell ourselves a story; our body responds to the story before our mind does. We will respond more professionally or appropriately if we pause and let the negative emotion pass.?

Also, our IQs drop 15%?when we're angry, and anger rarely serves us well.?

Being diplomatic.

If someone feels attacked, they won't hear you. If you pride yourself on telling it like it is, please remember, "Honesty without compassion is cruelty."?

In a Maya Angelou quote I share frequently, "people may not remember what you say, but they remember how they make you feel."

Communicating with superiors.

Communication is a two-way street. If communicating with your superiors is an issue, please know they WANT your feedback.?

Feedback is the fuel of understanding. Or follow up a meeting with your thoughts in writing.?

Great leaders are great communicators AND listeners.

Leaders lead by their ability to influence and motivate.

Reach out to Cathy at [email protected] to book a complimentary coaching call from Rich and Maureen.

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