Our Kids Are Not Okay

For months now, I haven’t been able to shake a simple phrase uttered by Zack Kass during a YPO event at New Jersey Institute of Technology : "Our kids are not okay." Zack was speaking about the complex ethical and societal impacts of AI, but it was his lamentation on the role of social media and technology in our children’s lives that struck a chord—a truth so stark, it demands reflection.

Objectively, he is right. The data paints a grim picture. Suicide rates among minors have been climbing for years, with sharp increases even before the pandemic exacerbated mental health issues. Depression and anxiety in children and teenagers have reached epidemic levels. A 2021 CDC report noted that nearly 20% of high school students seriously considered suicide, and rates of reported anxiety have doubled over the past decade.

At the same time, academic performance is faltering. National test scores, particularly in math and reading, have been declining steadily over the last ten years, with COVID accelerating the trend. We are failing our children not just in their emotional well-being but also in their intellectual development.

The Role of Technology

When Zack spoke about the ethical dilemmas posed by technology, he framed it as a question of societal priorities. Social media and devices have become ever-present, shaping how children think, interact, and perceive the world around them. Yet, their impact is far from positive. Platforms designed to maximize engagement—often through addictive algorithms—prey on the most vulnerable members of society: our kids. Instead of fostering connection, they amplify isolation, depression, and a distorted view of reality.

A Moment That Hit Too Close to Home

I hadn’t planned on writing this article, knowing it might upset some people. But during the holiday break, something I witnessed compelled me to put pen to paper. I was sitting in a Chick-fil-A with my kids, asking them about their day and playing with the free dominoes game that came in their kids’ meals. Across from us sat a father and his 7- or 8-year-old son. Instead of engaging with his son, the father scrolled aimlessly on his phone, while the boy plugged into a tablet with headphones, oblivious to the world around him. Neither paid any attention to the other.

If this were an isolated incident, I might have written it off despite feeling terrible for the kid and upset with his father for being lazy. But I see this dynamic everywhere—and it’s been normalized. Imagine pulling out a Game Boy in a restaurant in the 1990s while ignoring your child. People would’ve thought you were insane. Yet today, this behavior is not only acceptable but expected.

Sure, it’s easy to hand your kid a tablet to pacify them. But what does this teach them about self-control, behavior, socialization, and basic human interaction? What are they learning about the world when every moment of quiet reflection is replaced by a screen? These habits will shape who they become—and not for the better.

A Generation Isolated by Devices

We are raising a generation of kids who are increasingly isolated by their parents’ reliance on screens and their own addiction to devices. Social media compounds this problem. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok create a fake, filtered reality that encourages comparison, depression, and dangerous social contagions. These tools were never designed to maximize positive social interactions; they were designed to maximize time on site and ad clicks, exploiting our emotions to keep us hooked.

The results are evident as our kids are more anxious, more depressed, and less socially adept than ever before. They’re losing out on face-to-face interactions, real-world problem-solving skills, and the joy of unstructured play. These aren’t just minor developmental hiccups—they’re foundational crises.

A Failed Experiment

The pervasive use of social media and ever-present devices for kids has been a failed experiment. We handed our children tools that promised to connect and educate, only to find that they’ve isolated and harmed them instead. This isn’t to say that technology itself is inherently evil but we’ve allowed it to infiltrate every aspect of our lives without considering the long-term consequences.

What Can Be Done?

It’s time to reconsider our relationship with technology and its role in our children’s lives and to consider the possibility that new technology does not always improve outcomes. Parents need to set boundaries for their kids and themselves and to dramatically reduce the use of devices in all settings. Schools have made an axiomatic assumption that technology inherently improves education where the opposite might actually be true — a chalk board might be more effective than a smart board. Society at large needs to hold tech companies accountable for designing platforms that prioritize profit over well-being and to permanently ban the collection of any data on minors that can be used by technology companies for their algorithms.

The phrase "Our kids are not okay" is more than just a statement; it’s a call to action. We have a responsibility to change course—to give our children the tools they need to thrive, not just survive, in an increasingly digital world. Let’s not wait for another decade of declining mental health and academic performance to realize the cost of inaction. Let’s act now, for their sake and ours.