OUR KIDS ARE NOT OK

Traci Sweet, Psy.D.

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It’s 2024, and the news of yet another school shooting has become all too familiar. According to data gathered by CNN, this year alone there have been 45 school shootings and the year isn’t over. Each shooting represents not only a violent tragedy but also the long-lasting emotional, psychological, and societal scars left on students, teachers, families, and communities.

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The frequency of these incidents is overwhelming, leaving me to ask: Why are we continuously failing our children? Why are they resorting to more violence more often? Why, when I was young, was this not the culture we experienced? What have we done to find our children and ourselves here?

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To grasp the severity of the situation, we must confront the statistics head-on. Over the last five years, school shootings have followed a terrifying trend:

2019: 24 school shootings

2020: 10 school shootings (a decline attributed to remote learning during the pandemic)

2021: 34 school shootings

2022: 51 school shootings

2023: 39 school shootings

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Now, with 45 school shootings in 2024, we are once again on pace to match or surpass these alarming figures. It’s important to remember that behind every statistic is a child, a teacher, a parent, or a caregiver whose life is forever changed, if not shattered. While debates rage about the causes, one fact remains undeniable: we are not doing enough to protect our kids and help them feel safe.

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Understanding the rise in school shootings requires exploring several complex factors contributing to the surge in violence among children and teens:

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The Mental Health Crisis

The mental health of children in the United States has been deteriorating for years. Rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation are at an all-time high among adolescents. The pandemic exacerbated this crisis, isolating children from their peers and disrupting support systems. Many young people, struggling with unaddressed emotional pain, find themselves on dangerous paths toward violence.

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Childhood conditions such as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) are linked to early trauma, emotional regulation issues, and impulsivity, which are known to be present in many children and adults who commit violent acts. Early childhood neglect, prenatal substance exposure, and attachment issues can contribute to aggressive behaviors when left untreated, potentially increasing the risk of violence in vulnerable children.

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While it appears there is little to no data on these specific diagnoses in previous school shooters, they all have shared deep psychological and social stressors such as:

1. Personal and Family Issues: Many shooters experienced adverse childhood environments, including neglect, abuse, or household dysfunction. These conditions often result in emotional detachment and anger.
2. Trauma and Access to Care: A significant number suffered from untreated mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and unresolved trauma, compounded by a lack of access to care.
3. Bullying and Social Isolation: Many perpetrators were victims of bullying or social rejection, which fueled feelings of anger and humiliation.
4. Impulsivity and Lack of Emotional Control: These shooters often displayed poor impulse control and difficulty managing emotions, leading to violent responses when faced with conflict or frustration.

Social Media and Online Culture

Social media platforms have become breeding grounds for cyberbullying, extremism, and toxic behavior. Adolescents are constantly exposed to negative messaging, making them more vulnerable to feelings of hopelessness and anger. Moreover, online spaces sometimes glorify acts of violence, influencing already troubled youth.

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Access to Firearms

One of the most glaring issues is the ease with which young people can access guns. In many states, firearm regulations remain lax, making it easier for teenagers to obtain weapons, whether from home or through other means. The presence of firearms amplifies the potential for impulsive violence.

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A Culture of Fear and Desensitization

Children are growing up in a world where active shooter drills are routine, expected, and anticipated. This normalization of violence within schools has created a culture of fear, where students may feel constantly unsafe. Desensitization to violence, often reinforced by media, further blurs the lines between real-life consequences and fiction.

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To address school shootings effectively, we must move beyond “thoughts and prayers” and take dramatic, definitive, and swift action. A multi-faceted approach is needed: one that prioritizes prevention, support, and accountability.

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Here’s what we can do:

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Prevention in the First 5 Years

Almost 25 years ago, I wrote my doctoral dissertation on the cycle of family violence.? Children do not learn behaviors in a silo. Before they get to school, their lives, their personalities, their perceptions, and their experiences in the world are shaped by their parents and caregivers.? I believe this is where we adults must take responsibility. When my own son was young, I was quick to look outside our home when he did something or said something I needed to correct but equally quick to beam with pride and ownership when at 4 years old he was holding doors open for people and saying his prayers before bed. When he heard me cuss at a slow driver in the left lane, for example, he got that bad word he repeated from ME not from pre-school.

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How cautious we must be as examples to the children we serve. We SERVE them; we must stop FAILING them. Parent education, resources, and positive support systems for caregivers are critical to helping children learn in the most substantial formative first 5 years of their lives. We teach breast-feeding and car seat safety: we do not teach the importance of our emotional, social, and behavioral influence on our children. That is on all of us. Support systems need to be in place for parents to create stable, nurturing environments for these children. Outside the home, communities must work together to create environments where children feel supported and heard. Parent involvement, mentorship programs, and after-school activities can help guide children away from destructive behaviors. “See something, hear something, say something” starts at home and in the community, not in the classroom.?

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Accountability through Implement Red Flag Laws and Gun Safety Measures

Sensible gun control measures are essential. Red flag laws, which allow authorities to temporarily remove firearms from individuals who pose a danger to themselves or others, can prevent unnecessary tragedies. Additionally, securing firearms in homes, especially when there are children present, is critical. Do not beat me up here: I am a responsible gun owner, certified NRA and USCCA trainer, and I appreciate my 2nd amendment right to bear arms. I do believe that supporting red flag laws, universal background checks, and safety measures are critical to the responsibilities I bear.

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Support by Invest in Mental Health Resources & Early-Intervention

Schools need more counselors, psychologists, and social workers who are trained to identify and intervene with at-risk students, not only in post-elementary or secondary years but in early years to normalize safety, not the expectation of violence. Mental health education should be integrated into school curricula to help students recognize signs of distress in themselves and their peers.

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Schools must strengthen Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) by emphasizing programs that foster emotional intelligence, conflict resolution, and communication skills. Teaching kids how to cope with their emotions and de-escalate conflict can have a profound impact on reducing violence. Schools must offer access to specialized mental health services, including counselors specifically trained in trauma-informed care. This helps identify at-risk students and provides them with appropriate coping mechanisms as an alternative to violence before behaviors escalate.

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Tailored behavioral interventions, including social skills training and emotional regulation therapy, can help at-risk children manage their impulses and frustrations in healthier ways.? Schools should adopt trauma-informed policies that address the underlying emotional and psychological needs of students who exhibit violent or disruptive behavior, rather than relying solely on punitive measures. Anti-bullying programs need to be enhanced, and more robust online protections should be put in place to prevent youth from accessing harmful content. Tech companies must take responsibility for ensuring their platforms are not breeding grounds for hate or violence.

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It’s clear that the problem of school shootings is not going away on its own. As a country, we need to take a stand. Violence is not a coping mechanism. This is not simply an unfortunate “fact of life.” We do not simply “get over it and move forward.” This situation we find ourselves in isn’t just a political issue—it’s a human issue. We are losing our children to preventable violence, and it’s our collective responsibility to ensure that this generation and future ones can grow up without the constant fear of being shot in their classrooms.

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It starts with acknowledging that our kids are not okay. It’s time to listen to them, invest in their mental health, and prioritize their safety over political and ideological divides. We owe it to them. Because they deserve better than a world where school shootings are the norm. They deserve a future where they feel safe, supported, and valued. Let’s stop the madness. This is not an easy lift.? It will take a village.? Are you in?

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Our kids are counting on us.