Our imaginary enemies.

My dog Dolly spends most of her day sleeping, looking for food scraps, or wanting affection. A very typical dog existence by all accounts. She usually sleeps in her bed next to the fireplace. The moment she hears the doorbell, she instantly goes from deep sleep to fully awake and books it to the door—rounding corners, spinning out, and bumping against various pieces of furniture with zero concern for her little body. She then starts barking. Even her favorite treat isn’t enough to lure her away from the imaginary enemy at the door. She appears to think her actions averted the threat and that if she hadn’t barked at the door, the house would have been taken over by some crazy stranger. For the most part, I think Dolly’s response to these imaginary enemies is due to her canine genes, but I have come to realize that we are much more like dogs barking at the door than we like to admit.

Our operating system is way more advanced than dogs, but at our root, we find ourselves setting up walls and constructing defenses against enemies that are nowhere to be found. Our beliefs shape our reality, and our reality, at least to a large extent, shapes itself around our beliefs. We construct imaginary enemies that we direct our anger, anxiety, and resentment toward because ultimately, it has to go somewhere. The problem with imaginary enemies is that they will never give you resolution. Anger, resentment, and anxiety without resolution is endemic and will cause more harm than good. I know this all too well. For much of my life, I blamed the negative outcomes on imaginary enemies. Instead of looking in the mirror first, I found something outside of my locus of control to direct my anger and resentment. This mentality did not create anything positive and only put a wedge between me and what God had intended for my life, which is to love others and make an impact.

Anger is a natural human emotion. It is often caused by some form of wrong-doing, ill-treatment, or unfairness. We experience the feeling of anger when we think we have been mistreated or when we are faced with problems that keep us from getting what we want or attaining our personal goals. I think anger is good in certain aspects. When a person experiences anger the brain causes the body to release stress hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline. These chemicals help the body control the heart rate and blood pressure.

While anger is natural and necessary, I think a lot of our anger is misguided. Most of us, by all accounts, live pretty comfortable lives. I know we all have our challenges, hurts, and difficulties. I am not minimizing those at all. Life can be, and is hard. In comparison to war-torn and poverty-stricken countries where each day is a struggle to survive, we have it good. So what happens when you don’t have life-threatening opposition in your day-to-day life? You create imaginary enemies to direct that anger towards.

I am not going to get political, but I will make an observation. In the post-Obama, post-Trump presidency era, imaginary enemies have become more prevalent than ever. The left, and right, have become very invested in the idea that opposing viewpoints are not just opposing viewpoints anymore. Opposing viewpoints are now the epitome of evil and should be squelched at all costs. I know that I am painting a picture with a broad brush and that many people are objective and level-headed. I still think that this mentality is seeping its way into many households and it is concerning.

So how do you extinguish these imaginary enemies? That is a tough answer, one that is very nuanced based on your personal life situation. For me, it starts with five things.

1. Practice gratitude first thing in the morning. Instead of focusing on the negative in your life, make the focal point all of the good that you have.
2. Try and do something physically active every day. You would be surprised at how quickly that stress and anger dissipates once you have intentionally exerted yourself physically.
3. Quit comparing your situation to others. The moment you get in your head that someone has it better than you is the moment you start creating imaginary enemies of those people.
4. Do your best to not stress about things you cannot control. Take the things that you can’t control in your life and leave them be. If you can control them, create actionable steps to try and resolve them.
5. Quit watching so much news media. It is important to stay informed, don’t get me wrong, but your time is better spent invested in your family, community, and most importantly, yourself.