Our Humanness

As much as we want to believe that when we walk into the door of work, that we are leaving all our personal items at the door, we don’t. As humans we aren’t able to set down our wife’s cancer, our son’s upcoming ball game, our mom’s struggles in the nursing home, our fight with our spouse the night before, or whatever our current personal problems of the day are.

We bring all of ourselves to work, whether we mean to our not. It is our very humanness that we would have to leave at the door, if we did leave all of this behind. 

Many have learned over the years to put on masks when they walk in the door at work and of course sometimes at home too. 

Maybe we can leave some items at the door, which allow us to function at work, when things are really hard in our lives. 

Some folks feel safe enough at work to talk about some of their problems, and that can ease their day and maybe even make it easier when they get home, by chatting with their work companions. But in the end we carry with us our humanness everywhere we go.

Some might choose to call this “baggage”, but I don’t. I like to think of this as humanness. What makes us who we are, everything we bring, that makes our lives interesting, rich and engaging. When we cannot be our whole selves, what happens? When we have to live in our masks, where does that leave us?

I have spent most of my life living behind my mask, hiding who I am and what I am feeling, because I didn’t understand the cost of doing this, it was the easy way out. As the cost ratcheted up, I opted to ignore it, and ignore who I really was. 

A couple of years ago I made a decision to stop wearing my mask. I don’t know why, maybe the personal cost was to high, or maybe I was just sick and tired of not being able to bring my whole self to where I was, whether work or home. At some point, I was wearing the mask at work and at home and I didn’t know how to take it off any more. 

This process has left me faltering and freaking out at times! I know at times it has left me feeling vulnerable, not sure I am doing the right things, and perhaps making mistakes. But the reality is, is that most of the time I am at peace with myself and who I am.

As a Scrum Master, I am trying to help people be who they are and hopefully the best version of themselves. It’s not always about making progress building software, sometimes its about building someone’s confidence, allowing them to cry without judgement, and other times its just sitting with someone and not saying a word.

I am constantly awed and amazed at the people I work with. And even as I sometimes provide insight for them, there are always lessons for me. I am so grateful that I get to hold the space for these people and help them stay human.