Our future: from the contagion curve to our new humanity Negotiating at the time of the virus.

Each negotiation compares human interests and needs.

Yes! Because it is all about negotiation!

When we come face to face with one another every day (excluding the cases in which - as now - this is not possible for the explicit prohibitions of the authorities), we are forced to negotiate.

In just a split second, in a moment.

We must negotiate between our need to remain human and our interest in protecting our and others’ health; between our relational identity and our survival instinct.

Now, just to prevent us from relying only on our instinct of protection (which, as we have all noticed, not always – indeed, hardly ever – can prevail over the social conditioning that leads us to shake hands or even to put our cheeks close to her/his), the Government – in this emergency – recommends us to “avoid hugs, handshakes and direct physical contacts with each person”.

Between humanity and protection, only the latter prevails now, with the consequence of completely wiping out the former. Without half measures.

Circumstances dictate this conclusion.

This is the only thing the law can do.

It compares positions and takes a decision. One or the other.

Sacrosanct. Impeccable.

But can a provision of law alone change the relational identity of an entire nation?

Each of us has already experienced – even after government decrees – how difficult is to avoid making all actions (just those!) that distinguish us from other “beings” and that – we are the only ones so far across the universe – give us our unique trait of “humanity”.

After all, we are not born “human” beings.

We become “human” through interaction.

Without interaction with our fellow human beings, we would be – as we actually feel when someone rejects our handshake or our embrace – only “beings”; beings without relational identity and humanity.

Now, the virus plays with and spreads over our unstoppable need for human interaction; the same necessity that has been so strong to induce those who felt more confident – sometimes with irony – to neglect the need of protection. On the other side, those who were more concerned about the virus have been forced to physically step away, or – at least – to “express clearly” their willingness of “separation” (“Don’t touch me!”). This to avoid that the “strong discomfort” of the (alleged) violation of a social rule forced them to shake hands once again.

We are in a regime of total separation.

And we’ll have to stay home.

But soon – rest assured – we will be able to start “seeing” each other again.

So first of all – once the separation measures end and the way to “physical” contacts reopens – we will have to make sure thateverything takes place gradually as to reduce the risk of a new ascent of the contagion curve.

To adopt a correct "physical distancing", it is necessary to inform and lead citizens to MOTIVATE themselves. And this self-motivation cannot come from the sky, but must be linked to research, study and introduction of a "barrier gesture" to be inserted as a "mental code", an "activator" able to recall to each of us, at every contact , to protect the other (and ourselves), without losing humanity.

How are we supposed to do so?

Well, does the virus play with our “humanity”? 

Do not erase humanity tout court: without humanity we will become just “beings”.

Let’s change the game!

Alright! How?

Learning to remain together without hurting one another.

But what is the 'right distance' that one may observe to live without causing us pain?

We can’t help but take inspiration from Schopenhauer’s porcupine’s dilemma (“Parerga and paralipomena” of 1851) [1]  andconclude that we have to be that close to exchange our heat, but that distant not to sting ourselves.

Just like porcupines.

In this manner, as of now, when you meet (online or in person), raise in front of you the palm of the right hand (if in person, remain at least one meter and a half away, without touching) and, while remaining distant, activate eye contact (remember that looking each other is the first form of recognition, the first form of warmth, the first form of humanity); finally slightly bring the palm of your hand to the left, towards your heart.

The heart of Italians.

The heart of this country.

Let’'s start from here.

Let’s reduce the infection. Let’s put an end to the discomfort.

It’s not a greeting, it’s a look. 

Where there’s our hand, there are our new eyes. As said, looking at the other is the first form of humanity. The other exists to the extent that he/she is looked at and through that gaze meaning is given to one’s own existence.

It is not a matter of agreeing or disagreeing.

It’s a higher level. 

An inner connection. 

With a gesture we can say: “I see you, I hear you, I am here”.

Let’s change the rules of the game. 

We’re not going back to the way we used to be: let’s go back to human.

Now that time is broadened, let us look in the eyes when we say hello or goodbye because, only starting from this, we can rediscover the value of a handshake, the value of a hug; those values we have frankly lost.

In this way, we will learn also something more.

We will not simply greet– as we did before, when we shook hands – but we will learn to look at the other and realize that also he/she exists (apart from us).

He/she is “another”, different from us, but – despite being different – he/she has the human right to be acknowledged andlistened.

Without hierarchies, without prejudices.

We will finally learn that, on this earth, we do not exist, but coexist.

So, let’s start from here.

Let’s find ourselves human again.

Let’s look and listen, devoting proper time to others.

With our heart.

The heart of the “porcupine”.

The same heart with which we will greet our doctors and researchers first; those on whom we place our hopes, those who now need our humanity, as well as our protection (as they work incessantly and courageously in order to guarantee our safety too).

The above until the day – anytime soon – we will shake hands freely and embrace each other again.

But with a new awareness: we will have to become truly human again! 

Angelo Monoriti

Rome, March 9, 2020 

[1] “A number of porcupines huddled together for warmth on a cold day in winter; but, as they began to prick one another with their quills, they were obliged to disperse. However, the cold drove them back together, when just the same thing happened. At last, after many turns of huddling and dispersing, they discovered that they would be best off by remaining at a little distant from one another