Our Employees Are Really Our "Family"?

I feel that saying our workplace is just like our family might have been appropriate in the 20th century but not anymore. Back when family models were more stronger, positive and universal, the association might have sounded appealing, even inspiring. And in an era when employees felt more loyalty to their employers and employers expected more as well, a family-like organization might have been productive .

Speaking as both an employee and a line manager, one of the most common approaches I’ve seen is the myth that one’s team should be a family. While this idea may sound appealing on the surface as part of the employee engagement campaign, it can have detrimental consequences for both the employees and the company as a whole.

In this age, trying to run an organization just like a family?—?or even merely saying that one does?—?will hold them back, and may even backfire. Precisely, our companies are not like our families because:

1. We Dont Let Go Our Family?Member??

First and foremost, equating a workplace to a family dynamic doesn’t align with the reality of professional life. In a family setting, we don’t typically decide to let go of our least productive family members. In contrast, businesses often need to make tough decisions to ensure their survival and success, which may involve letting go of underperforming or morally challenged employees.

By blurring the lines between family and work, it can lead to unrealistic expectations, causing confusion when such decisions are made, and morale can suffer as a result. There will inevitably come a time when, whether through firing or layoffs, we have to terminate some employees’ employment. If we tell people they’re our family and then we let them go, they will consider us hypocrites?—?and they’ll be right.

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2. An Overdone Loyalty Doesn’t?Work

When any of our own family members is in need or requires significant commitment on our part, we rarely have to think twice. At least, that’s the perception among intra-family relationships. Placed into a work setting, loyalty can get misinterpreted and expectations will go above and beyond to do anything to get the job done. According to Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones ’ book, The Character of a Corporation , in family cultures, employees are willing to step in to assist others when the need arises, or even volunteer to “help before they’re asked” in the most selfless manner.

But here is the flip side. Numerous examples and research show that overly loyal people are more likely to act as slaves and sometimes they participate in unethical acts to keep their jobs and are also more likely to be exploited by their employers. These could manifest as being asked to work unreasonable hours or on projects or assignments unrelated to their roles, or keeping things under wraps because it is in the company’s best interest. We’re all in this together, so we’ve to play our part.

3. Personal & Professional Lines Shouldn’t Blur

We must understand that “family” means different things to different people. Not everyone wants to connect with their coworkers on a deeper and personal level, let alone create a dependency to the organization. In a professional context, an employee will want to reserve private details of their personal lives outside of work. But when we try and make our workplace a “family,” these types of conversations can be fair game, as the goal of the organisation is to encourage socialisation for the benefit of the whole.

On the other hand, according to a research , when an organisation uses the family metaphor in businesses, it creates a positive, motivating and morale-boosting culture, where colleagues are not seen as colleagues any more, but as brothers or sisters, moms and dads, uncles and aunts. While it can reduce conflicts and disagreements within the organization, a fear of causing a strain in the relationship with their superiors (who are now seen as fathers or mothers) could leave employees feeling like they must share any information that is being asked of them, which, in principle, intrude our private domain.

Wrap Up?—?What Companies Need to Do?Instead?

When fostering a healthy, supportive culture, let’s avoid promoting a “family” mentality and focus on putting in place actions and structures that bring value to and support our employees. E.g. think of our organization as a sports team or a tribe instead. In doing so, you retain a culture of empathy, collectiveness, belonging, and shared values and goals , while outlining a performance-driven culture that respects the transactional nature of this relationship. To promote a more balanced culture:

1. Define expectations right at the?start

Let’s be upfront and clarify expectations. Employees are paid and are expected to do a good job. However, the sense of comfort, humility and empathy must always stay there. When building teams and onboarding new employees, make sure to disassociate the jargon of “family” from conversations around high performance and purpose. Let your employees know what is expected of them to succeed at work and that there is a clear line between work and their personal lives.

Research suggests defining purpose can lead to a heightened sense of loyalty and stronger employee engagement, especially when the company’s overlaps with the employee’s purpose. Clearly define and communicate the purpose: What are you trying to achieve? What is your employee’s role in helping you get there? A shared purpose can get everyone rowing in the same direction.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

The grayer the policy, the more opportunities for misunderstanding. Make sure employees understand what’s expected of them when it comes to work hours and what lies beyond standard work hours. Support your employee’s endeavors and let them know that vacation is not only encouraged but expected. Share team calendars where everyone lists out their paid time off (PTO) and ideas for new vacations.

If employees start to feel overwhelmed and can no longer manage performance expectations, make it clear what options are available to find support and get back on track. Can they take time off? Can team members pitch in to make their workload more manageable? Can priorities be reshuffled?

3. Mutually Acceptance of Work Relationship

We have to be realistic about the relationships employees build with their employers and remember that it is transactional. Most people won’t stay in the same company for their entire career and that’s completely okay. As organisations grow, so do the roles and every organisation can be outgrown by its employees if there aren’t enough opportunities for the employee to grow or if the organisation doesn’t need the employees’ skills or experiences anymore.

Be candid about setting this expectation as early as the onboarding. If an employee has decided to leave, don’t take offence about them not wanting to work at our orgs any longer. Acknowledge their contribution and help them exit respectfully. If we don’t need their skills anymore, ask how we can help them find a more suitable position within or outside the company.

About the Author

Muhammad Sajwani is a C-Level HR, Transformation Leader, Board Advisor, Business Coach & Organisational Consultant working in the capacity of Managing Director, Evolve HR . He is an author, columnist and a contributor who besides writing for other platforms also regularly writes at BizCatalyst 360 . He brings along 30+ years of local & international experience. He is a change catalyst specializing in unleashing the human Dreamgenius through Leadership, Creativity and Change Management. Muhammad has been instrumental in helping organizations come to terms with organizational changes like right-sizing and business process re-engineering. His innovative approach & high personal competence encourages people to not only accept change, but also to excel in it. Muhammad has diverse experience in conducting strategic & management development programs, conferences & events for organizations across sectors.