Our Democracy, Puberty and Letting Go in the Bardo.

With the US Presidential election over and the transition stalled, we begin to comprehend that the hard work is still in front of us. While our Democracy appears to be floundering, it’s easier for me to relate to it as a moody teenager. You see, our 13-year-old son is as moody as the night is long. This past weekend he called his mother and me “snowflakes” and stated, “people just can’t say what they want anymore” and that his Mom and I are “too sensitive.” TikTok meme culture and Maury the Hormone Monster moved into his bedroom overnight. We get hugs one moment and snide comments the next, but when did truth and trust become negotiable in our house? So when I compare the age and tone of our Democracy to that of a moody, hormonal, and irrational teenager, it makes me feel slightly better about the state of affairs. As a Dad in this new normal, this irrational conversation left me feeling noble in thought but weak in execution. Similarly, we can assume that when the Founders were composing our constitution, they operated the same way. Just like there are no perfect parents, there is no perfect Democracy either.

I know that our son is evolving physically, mentally, and emotionally while utilizing the safe space we’ve created to try new ways of operating on his mother and me. I also know that it’s our responsibility to shape his ethics, give him the tools to self-govern while caring for and nourishing his body, mind, and soul. It’s been incredibly difficult for us as parents to watch him in 2020 as these are uncharted waters. He spends much of his time on Zoom (school, workouts), his phone (TikTok, Discord), his laptop (gaming), his iPad (shows), and his Xbox (gaming, friends). As parents, this lack of in-person interaction is nerve-wracking, yet it’s possible that he has adapted to this new normal much faster than his mother and I and is the zeitgeist of his generation. Expecting our kid to be a happy, healthy, and whole human without our support is naive. The same could be said for our Democracy, and this much is certain: Evolution. Nature desires order and higher states of complexity. We are at a point where we can go one of two ways, either into a state of chaos, where we won’t survive or to a higher state of consciousness.

Regardless of how the US election turned out for you, clearly, we are going through puberty. Our complexion is blotchy, voice is changing, hair growing out of weird places, and unsure what to do with our private parts. Our behavior is irrational and irreconcilable at moments while singing Yusuf/Cat Stevens songs at others. We are in an evolutionary democracy which is evolving from "win or lose", "us or them", "red or blue" and "me or you". Biden/Harris won the popular vote by 5%, and the Republicans maintain control over the senate. Guess what: there will be obstructionists, and no real change in favor of one party or the other will transpire. While this may be frustrating, assuming that this frustration continues to deconstruct our current Democracy and tilt toward autocracy, there will be evolution. It will be more of the same, more separateness unless we find commonality between both (which will largely marginalize the edges) and redefine the majority (spoiler alert: it won’t look like me).  I can’t imagine that there will be an awakening where 3.5 million Democrats wake up and change party allegiances or vice versa. Our two-party system, while not written into the constitution, is designed to fail. Why? Because we are all humans that are connected to each other, whether we like it or not. While we are diverse in our identification via sexuality, faith, and ethnicity, our basic needs are all the same: safety, connection, self-esteem, and security. Once those are met, we begin to drive toward growth, exploration, love, purpose, and ultimately transcendence. This is our common ground. 

I do not view this as a failure. It’s a launching point toward a better future, one that supports our path toward transcendence rather than chaos. We can use the framework our Founders provided and improve upon that. I can’t imagine that given the rate of change in our world (Moores law), if we were to write a constitution today, it would be a finite resource. I’d like to think that it would be written as an operating manual that allows for upgrades and add-ons. A framework that would provide a code of ethics that supports the greater good, recognizing that what is in my neighbors best interest is also in my best interest. Suppose the underserved kid in my community is provided with a path to go beyond what previously existed for them. In that case, it stands to reason that she’ll be less inclined to support herself via illicit means because there are opportunities. If she has a chance to be successful, our community will benefit from more wholeness, security, safety, and connectedness.  

When we participate in identity politics, we say, “I’m a Republican” or “I’m a Democrat.” These are labels we have created to make sense of and bring order to our world. Yet, there is no such thing as “republican” or “democrat” as neither word has consciousness. Without us labeling, it doesn’t exist. Ask instead, “who am I, really? What are my basic needs? What do I want to create? What do I need to create it? What do I want to do with it?” Utilizing what’s available today, information democratization allows us to match people, ideas, projects, and needs with resources. We have an emerging social structure that leans toward collaboration and co-creation. This separateness, while it may not seem like it, is failing everywhere-naturally. It goes against the universal law of evolution. Enough of us coming together allows us to intuitively and experientially connect with the living system. We have the resources to make this world while without taking anything away from anyone.

Systemic biases are deeply rooted and will take time to extract. Our preferences, cravings, and feelings of abandonment make us feel separate from ourselves and each other, and we’re suffering for it. There’s only one thing we need to do, and that is to take responsibility for ourselves. It is better to live with wholeness inside ourselves rather than imposing our will on the world attempting to unite everything according to our own beliefs.