In Our Corner: Unwanted and Undesired Without The Village
“Donovan was unarmed, and he was abiding by police commands to come out of his room when he was shot in cold blood by Officer Anderson.”
-Rex Elliott, Attorney for the Lewis Family
“There was no justification—let me be clear—no justification for officer Anderson to shoot an unarmed man trying to get out of bed as police officers were instructing him to do so.?Donovan was asleep before officers arrived and had warning that CPD would burst into his apartment.”
-Rex Elliott, attorney for the Lewis Family
“They (the family) want this police officer punished, …. not permitted to be out on the streets again.?We anticipated filing an action against the police officer that engaged in this reckless conduct.”
-Rex Elliott, Attorney for the Lewis Family
“They are just a few of the many people that have had their lives altered forever because of the events of early Tuesday morning.”
-Rex Elliott, Attorney for the Lewis Family, referring to Donovan’s parents, siblings, grandmother, aunt and family friends
“He wasn’t armed. He wasn’t dangerous. He wasn’t America’s most wanted. He was just Donovan.”
-Reverend Jemimah Posey, comments at the Donovan Lewis funeral
"Fear is your enemy. Trust in God. The North Star will guide you."
-The Black preacher advising Harriet as she prepares to flee bondage, the movie?Harriet?(2019)
My Dear Readers,
Here we go again. Another young Black life taken much too soon, under circumstances that are unimaginable yet imaginable, unbelievable yet very believable, and incomprehensible, yet expected by Black folks, having repeatedly endured this nightmare.
Donovan Lewis’s death by police action follows a line of recent deaths by police including George Floyd, Michael Brown, Freddie Gray, Walter Scott and countless others, the most recent being Jayland Walker, who was shot 46 times, including 8 shotgun blasts, over a traffic violation. He had refused to pull over and ran from his vehicle.?The police allegedly recovered a firearm from the car, so they said.
Meanwhile, a worried community of Black folks, nationwide are sitting, nervously awaiting the outcome of the most recent shooting.?Here speaks the concerns and frustrations of one parent:
Dear Dr. Kane,
I am the mother of three sons ages 16, 12 and 8.?The killing of that black young man in Columbus OH by the police has frightened me to the point where I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and I am unable to focus on work because I am so scared for the safety of my sons. I am southern born and raised, and although I now live in Washington State, I have long memories of police brutalizing and terrorizing Black males. I am very frightened and concerned.
I have no place to turn for help.?I have spoken to my pastor and all he tells me is to fear not, pray and trust in God.?I am a good Christian. School has now begun, and I place anointing oil on my sons every morning as I send them out to school and still it is simply not enough! I am so afraid for my children.
I just don’t understand the lack of response.?Black folks in church are talking about these killings and yet there is nothing being done about it.?It’s like since it hasn’t happened to?them, they are not concerned, however, it may happen to my sons.?I am living in fear. I go to bed afraid and wake up afraid.
My sons are well mannered, are attentive and love school and sports. I know that they get profiled because of their race.?In reaching out to Black men for assistance, the attitude has been one of indifference.?More than one suggested that I need to get accustomed to police interaction and racial profiling as this is going to be an ongoing occurrence in their lives.?I have asked the men at the church to talk to my sons but all they want to do is to talk about football.?
It takes a village! I feel that my community– my village– church and black men have failed me.?I wish the Black men in the church would come together to teach our children how to be safe when interacting with the police.?I am unable to talk to my white coworkers as they think I am being paranoid.?I am concerned that my older son will mouth off should he be confronted by the police.?My middle child was recently stopped and questioned by the police because they said he looks older and my youngest is afraid to sleep in his bed after watching the news about that Black man being killed in his bed by the police.?He has now returned to wetting the bed and is afraid to sleep alone.
I have sought help from my church and the people in my community.?Although I am being told not to be afraid and to pray, I am more fearful and desperate for more help to protect my children.?When I get a notification on my cell from one of my sons, I become overwhelmed with fear. I can’t think, I am shaking. It is only until I have assurance that they are okay that I can relax.?And then there is the next time.??It’s like I am waiting for the negative to happen.?Am I being paranoid??Do you have any suggestions? I would appreciate hearing back from you.
Village Mom Seeking Assistance, Bellevue, WA
My Dear Readers,
In the writer’s statement, she mentions that “it takes a village,” referring to the African proverb that speaks to the cultural and societal belief that family, community and communalism are needed to teach, develop, and protect a child through adulthood. While this sentiment has strong psychological and emotional roots within the values of Black Americans, the ongoing and consistent psychological and emotional pressures being faced by the Black American community, many caused by its own deficiencies and weaknesses, render it unable to protect itself from macroaggressions that result in the psychological harm and/or physical deaths of its children.?Although the idea of the “village” permeates the community, this is not the lived reality being experienced by this parent seeking assistance from her church and within the community.?Comments from the black men in her community merely acknowledge the indifference.?
It is the natural instinct for a parent to want to protect one’s child from danger.?However, as Black parents seek balance, it would be beneficial to teach our children how to empower themselves as they are being prepared to enter an environment that is hostile and suspicious to both their ethnicity, race and gender.
????????????????????????FEAR: Conceptualizing the Psychological & Emotional Impacts
Fear can be defined as?an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.?For this parent, several subtypes of trauma, including microaggression (racial profiling by the police) macroaggression (physical injury/death), and invisibility syndrome (fear that her sons’ talents, abilities and character are not acknowledged or valued) combine to induce the distress that she shares in her letter.
Fear has psychologically and emotionally impacted the African American community to the point where it has been stuck in the status of?existence,?that is, the acceptance of an imposed way of life and survival.
Historically, the Black community has faced continuous and consistent pressure in the form of violence, domestic terrorism and state sanctioned laws/ordinances such as the Black Codes, Jim Crow laws, Sundown laws, and redlining.?Although its members are capable of achieving and advancing in industry, economics, medicine, arts and letters, they remained blocked in stages of existing and survivorship and “living?in?FEAR,” a psychological and emotional status which continues to limit the community to this very day. Therefore, “living?in?FEAR” can be viewed as the following:
F?(foundation) the justifications or cause of held beliefs.
E?(expectations)?strong beliefs that something will happen or be the case in the future.
A?(assumptions) things that are accepted as true or certain to happen.
R?(reality) the world that is being experienced or the state of things as they actually exist.
In this conceptualization of fear, African Americans are simply reacting to their deeply held beliefs and experiences based on their 403 years of experience in this country, through direct experience and passed downward intergenerationally.?
In reconceptualizing fear, it is essential that Black people recognize the psychological impacts of internalizing fear and seek transformation towards the following:
By holding on to the illusion of village communalism as “acting as one,” the Black American community is not psychologically or emotionally prepared to conceptually transform from “living?in?FEAR” to “living?with?FEAR.”
Reconceptualizing FEAR
Psychologically and emotionally, “living?in?FEAR” has been a disservice because it limits the group’s options for response to this trauma to acceptance of a way of life and survival, or simply?existing.
In reconceptualizing fear, it is essential that fear be viewed as a resource that can be utilized to move individual forward, not as preventing them from achieving goals, objectives and outcomes.
Therefore “living?with?FEAR” can be viewed as the following:
F?(facing) confronting, accepting or dealing with a difficult task, fact or situation.
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E?(embracing)?accepting or supporting a belief willingly and enthusiastically.
A?(acknowledging)?accepting or appreciation of the truth or recognition of fact or an object.
R?(responding) the advocacy of reply as in words or in action.
To this end, the Black parent can consider the following:?
There can be nothing stronger, more meaningful and more built on belief, faith and trust, (BFT) than the love a Black mother has for her child.?Understanding their fears, given the history of police interaction with Black males and the risk of death, incarceration and trauma it is imperative that Black mothers transform from “living?in?FEAR” by implementing developmental strategies that will empower their children and thereby allowing the parent to be able to wake and sleep every day with empowerment “living?with?FEAR.”
Behavioral Strategies-Police Interactions
“Mama said life is like a box of chocolates.?You never know what you are going?to get.”
-Forrest Gump (1994),
In her letter, the Black parent alleges that she was told that she “need(ed) to get used to police interaction and racial profiling as these are going to be ongoing occurrences.”
These comments are partially correct; in the lives of Black people, especially with males, racial profiling and police interaction ARE going to be ongoing occurrences.?However, what is incorrect is the belief that this is something to get used to. Words can have powerful psychological impacts on those who hear them, and in this case, what comes across is further trauma and insensitivity to the lived experience.?Specifically, the word “need” as a verb, defined as to “require (something) because it is essential or very important. In essence, this Black parent is being told that it is very important for her to get used to these brutal injustices.
The Black parent (s) can best serve their children and themselves by
Understanding ABC’s of Behavior
The Black parent can also reinforce self-empowerment in their children by normalizing the police stop or interaction, and by teaching them to accept their internalized fears when responding to police directions and interactions.?The fear of police in our community is normal and some police want the individual to be fearful as it allows them to maintain control.?However, it is essential that the individual maintain a “sense of presence” by “living?with?FEAR” and not “living?in?FEAR”.?This can be achieved by teaching your children the following:
When Black Males Encounter the Police
?“My sons are well mannered, are attentive and love school and sports. I know that they get profiled because of their race.”?
-Village Mom Seeking Assistance
This is true of many black children. However, it is important to remember that police officers, in interacting with numerous different individuals on a daily basis, carry their internalized prejudices with them, including, but not limited to the belief that some individuals, particularly African Americans, are not “well mannered, or attentive”.?Black youth can impower themselves by planning out their actions and behaviors when they encounter law enforcement:
The Police Encounter
The Black parent must emphasize these two points with their children as the first and most important parts of a process to ensure their safety during an encounter with the police. The rest of the process includes the following:
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Concluding Words-Dr. Kane
“I have asked the men at the church to talk to my sons but all they want to do is to talk about football.”?
-Village Mom Seeking Assistance
“Black people love their children with a kind of obsession.?You are all we have, and you come to us endangered.”
-Ta-Nehisi Coates, Author “Between the World and Me. (2015)
Dear Village Mom Seeking Assistance,
In responding to your letter, I have sought to provide ideas, strategies, concepts and protocols that could be utilized in transforming fear and empowering your children and self. You have written that your village, church and Black men have failed you at the time in which you needed them the most.?I encourage you to transform from the positions of desperation and helplessness to that of empowerment and growth, preparing your sons to protect themselves during encounters with police.??Racial profiling is an uneasy reality in the lives of Black people.
Please dismiss the notion of paranoid as indicated by your white coworkers.?As a Black person, you are responding to your lived experience, which has included frequent incidences of brutality towards Black males.?As a parent with three sons, you are displaying vigilance to abnormal experiences that your white coworkers have no direct knowledge or experience with. Simply stated, when your white coworkers get encountered by the police, they receive “community policing, while your sons, during similar encounters, receive “law enforcement” instead.
Holding to your strength in your Christian faith, it is important for you to channel the belief, faith and trust you have in your village, church and Black men to the self, which will enable you to empower your sons in expecting and normalizing upcoming police encounters. Once again, it is essential to let go of the concept that “fear is the enemy” and instead, see fear as a?desired and wanted emotion?that can assist you and your sons in keeping them?aware, alert, aroused, aloof and most importantly…alive.?It would be most advantageous for you to stop looking and depending on assistance that is not forthcoming and look within your abilities to provide the assistance in developing the strategies that will empower and protect your sons.
Wishing you the best,
Dr. Kane
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“That is the philosophy of the disembodied, of a people who control nothing, who can protect nothing, who are made to fear not just the criminals among them but the police who lord over them with all the moral authority of a protection racket.?It was only after that I understood love that I understood the grip of my mother’s hand. She knew that the galaxy itself could kill me, that all of me cold be shattered and all of her legacy spilled upon the curb like bum wine.”
-Ta-Nehisi Coates,?Between The World And Me
IN MEMORIAM of Black Males Killed in Police Related Deaths
The universe shrank
when you went away.
Every time I thought your name,
stars fell upon me.
—?Henry Dumas?(poet, social activist, teacher)