Are our child's minds broken?

How Mental Health concerns are ruining the lives of thousands.

This week I am looking at the issue of Mental Health in children, and the impact of the decline in good mental health, and what this means for families who are struggling.

And there are a lot of them! 

Let’s begin by looking at some statistics gathered by the Centre for Mental Health.

• Most current research tell us that a staggering 1 in 8 children under 16 now have a diagnosable mental health condition.
• 1:5 adolescents will have a mental health concern each year
• 1: 5 children will self-harm at some point in their childhood
• 70% of young adults with mental health concerns did not get appropriate intervention when they were a child
• 50% of mental health problems are established by the age of 14, and 75% but the age of 24
• Severe and persistent behaviour problems if left without intervention have a long term impact on a child’s mental health
• 78% of suicides are male
• Female suicide is at an all time high
• Suicide is the largest cause of mortality in young people.
• 3/4 of parents who have a child attempt to seek support - only 1/4 receive it. - Please, let that one sink in for a moment.

(If you want to read more about the research and statistics you can find the full report HERE)

The vast explosion in child mental ill health has led to a crisis point in services, with some area’s now looking at a waiting list of over 6 months even for children who are self-harming, and talking about suicide.

For the vast majority of parents, external intervention is not an option until your child hits a level of crisis which endangers life.

This bleak outlook has left many parents bewildered about how to support their children through periods of ill mental health, and where to go for support. I often hear parents tell me that they feel powerless, isolated and live with constant fear for their child’s happiness, and in many cases, their safety.

The situation is dire, and with societal changes and educational pressure only increasing the the burden for our children we are at serious risk of losing a generation whilst our research and services catch up with the level of need. 

So what can we do, at a family level, to support our children with mental health concerns?

Well fortunately there are ways we can support those we love, and help them to learn techniques to manage some of the emotions which accompany poor mental health.

This essential support starts with making it easier for parents to admit that they are struggling, and ensuring training is accessible. And there is a reason I call it training!

Rant alert!

Too many signposted routes are to ‘parenting’ courses, which quite frankly for the average parents managing a child with poor mental health is an insult.

When we go to work, and need to develop a new skill - do we feel awkward getting training? Do we feel ill equipped, like we are failing, and embarrassed by our need to up-skill? No - we do not! So why, in the face of family challenges, do we insist on making parents feel less than adequate by sending them on ‘parenting’ courses!

So for the purposes of this article we are gong to assume that you know how to feed your child, that they need sleep, emotional nurture, boundaries and a home - and we are going to treat you like an adult!

What you need is Behaviour Management training.

Am I saying your child is badly behaved? No! Although many children with mental health concerns struggle with behaviour.

When people think of behaviour management, they think of ‘naughty kids’ - but it is far more reaching than that. 

Lethargy is behaviour

Poor communication is behaviour

Refusing to go out is behaviour

Self harm is behaviour

You see the pattern forming?

All behaviour is, when we simplify it to the greatest extent, is communication to us that they have an emotion which they are not able to manage.

That’s it - it really is!

Learning how to manage the behaviours with an emotionally responsible model gives you, the parent, the ability to nurture, support and teach your child, whilst being able to provide safe emotional boundaries.

Which are key! Remember those magical words - safe - emotional - boundaries.

Not only that - but when dealing with the negative behaviours which many children do have when managing poor mental health, you are equipped to do so in a way that:

Reduces the fear factor

Keeps your child feeling safe

Increases connection

Decreases poor behavioural choices

Protects and promotes better mental health

De-stresses your family relationships

Gives parents back their emotional energy

After working with over 1000 children with a variety of behavioural needs and mental health concerns, I was continuously disappointed with the lack of training available to parents. Especially when you consider the vast benefits which would follow:

Better mental health in children

Increased emotional resilience

Reduced capacity issues in services

Declining suicide and self harm figures

Positive impact on government budgets

The list goes on!

The result of my distinct disappointment, was the creation of the Healthy Child Mind Model - a system which can be used by parents to effectively manage behaviour in a way that encourages the development of emotional intelligence and resilience.

Ten years in the making - this model provides a simple, go to system which makes supporting children easier for parents, carers and professionals.

I was asked recently what my life mission was - an astoundingly profound and thought provoking question! 

My answer was surprisingly simple - to help as many families as I can, to support children who are struggling.

This model, forms one part of how I am working on that life mission.

Can you help me?

Yes, actually you can!

If you are a parent and you are worried about your child - get the training! Feedback is outstanding, and the results last a lifetime. (If in doubt, read the 9 year case study of a child’s view of my work)

If you’re not a parent - help me get the message out there! Share this article, and let’s work together to reach as many children as possible.

Most of all - whilst services are struggling, do not wait to get support if you are concerned. Always contact your doctor to discuss your worries. The waiting list is long - but it’s longer if you are not on it!