Our battle is between what we know and what we feel

As a cognitive scientist who chooses to answer the question simply ignore those who hold the opposite point of view because this one is similar to the so-called 'nature vs. nurture' controversy. Which is just another way of asking if our inborn human nature controls our decisions, or is it our environment and life experiences? I’m inclined to say they both do about equally.

When an older guy online makes a young girl fall in love with him, then there’s a difference between liking the way someone makes you feel and having feelings for someone. Of course it's so exciting to meet someone new. It's a great feeling to have someone care about you and express feelings for you. It can get addictive, tapping into that well to experience the adrenaline rush that comes with the interest and affection of someone you like. But when something feels off, you have to respect it.

However disclosing the age difference suggests it makes you uncomfortable. I expect you knew how most people would react when you asked, even if your heart wanted at least one person to assure you it isn't a problem. This reaction - your reaction - comes from knowing successful relationships include shared experiences and aligned perspectives. If you have to explain your slang or listen to a “Where I was when” story about some history and can't offer your own, odds are you’ll have a stronger and more rewarding relationship with somebody else.

Trust the pings of your internal radar and your radar is never wrong because at 18 you may not have the experience to accept these pings as truth, but you know how you like to be treated. You know the Internet makes it easy for people to carefully edit the version of themselves you see. And you know that while women are starting with their heads and hearts, a different body part often motivates a guy.

If he's asked for pictures, “Just one,” if he started with “Just take off your shirt, that's all I need,” before gradually pushing for more, it's a red flag. This is not a person who’s serious about making you a real part of his life. Especially if he makes promises about having a future with you “as soon as some reason preventing him from acting immediately on his feelings.”

Through attraction is accelerated when there are obstacles to overcome. These obstacles can include distance, another relationship, age difference, families and friends who don't approve. It can be as simple as a chilly start. Think of any love story and start counting the obstacles. Now the hardest things to do, like walking away from someone who often makes you feel happy and attractive, are so much easier in theory than in practice, but in the end you are the gatekeeper of your own heart and happiness. Difficult choices, the denial of instant gratification - these things form your character and reinforce your self-worth. As do heartache and hardship.

But make an effort to trust your instincts - they're rock solid - and have faith that there's a whole world of great guys who won’t ever make you question yourself like this. You just have to be willing to pass on the ones who do. If you were a fly on the wall at this guy’s house you would see how he’s online and has all these other girls lined up and ready to march to his tune too.

No, this is the pattern of the narcissist, who are arrogant and controlling people. They can’t really feel deep love and are looking for as many people as possible to slake their unquenchable thirst for attention. Having you is just another notch on his keyboard. He is “love bombing” you in order to hook you into falling in love with him. He gets a big rush from getting girls to fall in love and them dumping them.

And after you fall deep for him he will drop you like a hot potato. The fact that you’re heartbroken only makes him feel more powerful. While you are devastated he is busy sweeping another girl off her feet. He will come back to you though, when he’s run through the cycle of girls and no fresh meat available. After having dumped or been dumped he will look you up in his little black book and swoop in for more of your affection only to dupe you again.

As for the reason why he's interested in a younger girl? Who knows. But one thing you need to be careful of is your lack of experience with men. As others have stated, he might know how to play the game, he knows how to pull the strings. By all means enjoy his company, enjoy the laughs and smiles. But just be careful and trust your own instincts. I doubt he's actually developed feelings, he's probably just imagining he has or lying to see how you react. Don't be afraid to cut him off should he try to make you do anything you feel uncomfortable doing. Because you know what you feel and you should feel what you know. Cheers!