OTT Issue #20: How I know EQ Will Make or Break Your Transformation

The longer I work in the transformation space, the shorter my list of key variables is getting.?

Over time I’m becoming convinced that there are really only a few linchpins that determine whether a group of people can successfully navigate a major change.??

One of those linchpins is the average level of emotional intelligence (EQ) across those responsible for driving that change. And I fully acknowledge that, at first glance, that might seem kind of touchy-feely.

Shouldn’t other things matter more, like the quality of the change management plan, or the presence of leadership buy-in, or cutting-edge technological infrastructure??

Sure, those things all help.?

But I wouldn’t assign them linchpin status.?

You could pull one out and it wouldn’t have a make-or-break level of impact.?

I’ve seen successful transformations happen without a change management plan of any kind.?

I’ve seen them grow from a grassroots level despite leadership resistance. And I’ve seen them pushed over the finish line in a wheelbarrow because there was minimal technological support.?

Those transformations weren’t the smoothest (or the most fun), but they happened because the humans driving them knew how to get things done.?

And those humans knew that because they had uncommonly high levels of EQ.?

EQ can bridge any number of shortcomings, because when well developed and actively deployed it does three critical things:

1. Provides high levels of intrinsic motivation
2. Allows its user to harness authentic empathy
3. Unlocks social skills that allow for effective collaboration

But here’s the rub: all of the advanced interpersonal aspects of EQ are contingent on a strong foundation of self-awareness and self-management.

There’s no shortcutting this. You can’t jump right into empathy and social skills.?

So we’re not going to jump there either. We’re going to spend the next few newsletters working through these in order.?

This should work out well for those readers who are looking at a good chunk of downtime as the holidays approach, because meeting-free days are the best times to get super self-reflective.?

(And if you need an excuse to get away from your relatives for a while, tell them I gave you an urgent work assignment and then go sit in a room and think.)?

Our first topic, then, is self-awareness. I’m going to lean on Daniel Goleman’s book?Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence?to provide the framing for this and subsequent EQ concepts, as I find his characterizations to be highly relevant to the application of EQ in driving major changes to an organization.?

Within this context, self-awareness is more than just knowing whether or not you can pull off wide-leg pants. It’s a realistic conception of your own internal state, and the impact that it’s likely to have on those around you.?

Goleman puts it this way: “Self-awareness means having a deep understanding of one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, needs, and drives. People with strong self-awareness are neither overly critical nor unrealistically hopeful.”

You can spot self-aware people thanks to their constant quest for constructive feedback. And when they do get an honest critique, they don’t throw up defensive walls or make excuses for their shortcomings.?

Self-aware people also tend to make realistic commitments, because they know themselves well enough not to overstretch themselves.?

In the work world, this one is a great way to distinguish between people with high and low levels of self-awareness. The over committers haven’t acknowledged their shortcomings; they’re convinced that even though they’ve missed their last twelve deadlines, this time will be different.?

This differentiator can be a helpful way to assess yourself and those around you. Plus developing better self-awareness for yourself and your team will enhance collaboration, communication, and productivity.?

That’s all great. But here’s where it gets really cool (this is Goleman again):?

“A person who lacks self-awareness is apt to make decisions that bring on inner turmoil by treading on buried values.”?

So not only will higher levels of EQ make you a more effective change agent (more on that next week), it will also help you be a happier, more satisfied person.

Allow me to illustrate how with a story from my own past.?

I’ve always been an achiever. I got straight A’s in school. I went to prestigious colleges. I excelled at sports. I like learning, I like hard work, and I like being the best at stuff.?

Throughout my academic career, all those things lined up nicely.?

Then I got into the world of work, and things were very different. I worked hard like always, and was a diligent little vacuum sucking up knowledge. My bosses either didn’t notice, didn’t care, or didn’t have enough power to reward me. Jobs, I concluded, were not nearly as fun as school.?

Then I got the opportunity to go to work for myself, and I was delighted.?

I had enough self-awareness to know that I was going to like working for myself more than I liked working for other people, and enough to know that I’m driven by continuous learning about interesting problems. Entrepreneurship seemed like a great fit for me.?

But then came more success than I had planned for, and AgileSherpas (the business I had started with a co-founder) grew fast. It grew really fast. And suddenly I had not one boss, but several dozen.?

As the CEO of a high-growth startup, I worked for everyone. Clients, employees, vendors, business partners – everybody had a say in how I spent my time. It took me many months of frantic effort and a bout of real burnout to realize that learning and achievement weren’t enough. I missed freedom and flexibility.?

I thought I was doing all the right things. And they would have been the right things for a different sort of person. But they were making me kind of crazy.?

I had created inner turmoil with the decisions I made, thanks to blind spots in my self-awareness map.?

These days I still run a high-growth startup, but I make sure to build in controls to my days and weeks that allow for the flexibility I crave. The turmoil has subsided because I know myself better.?

I encourage you to take a moment to shine a light into your own blind spots.?

Are you creating unnecessary turmoil, either for yourself or those around you??

Have you cataloged your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, needs, and drives recently??

What are you missing that might make your journey off the trail riskier, harder, or just less fun??

Reflectively yours,?

- Andrea