No Other Success Can Compensate for Failure in the Home?

For as long as I can remember, I have been familiar with a simple but challenging quote. For most of my life, I have tried to understand how to shape my life in such a way as to try to live up to it. The quote?

“No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”

This quote is often attributed to David O. McKay but was in actuality only popularized by him. He was actually quoting James Edward McCulloch, known professionally as J.E. McCulloch. Unfortunately, little is known of J.E. McCulloch today. According to his death certificate, James Edward McCulloch was a sociologist born in 1873 and died at the age of 65 in 1939. As with many quotes, his quote has been misquoted in many forms and ways over the years.

David O. McKay popularized J.E. McCulloch’s, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” quote when he included it at the end of the following longer statement:

“The home is the first and most effective place to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self-control, the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home.”

I realize that in today’s world of distraction, declining civility, war, violence, disease, turmoil, etc. that home and family life is no longer what they were almost a hundred years ago.

David O. McKay’s quote may be viewed by some as very controversial given it focuses on the home and family. I understand that this may be a sensitive topic for many of us depending on our family upbringing, life experience, and personal views. That said, there is definite wisdom in the quote that warrants an evaluation in terms of its potential applicability today. The quote was popularized nearly 90 years ago. A lot has changed since then.

When David O. McKay made his bold proclamation to the world he probably had no idea that in the 2020s we would have Netflix, iPhones, Internet, TikTok, memes, EV cars, social media, etc. In fact, he probably had no idea what we would be facing in our lives. Or did he?

We have serious problems, including the ever-increasing decline of the family, violence, and abuse in homes, rampant drug addiction, 24/7/365 pornography access and addiction, anxiety and depression, gaming, sexual diseases, infidelity and adultery, indulgence and distraction (in the palm of our hand), viral social media, media bias, cyberbullying, war, violent crime, and countless other social and political ills that make it difficult to find peace, happiness, purpose, and meaning in this life.

So, let’s revisit David O. McKay’s full quote and break it down a bit:

“The home is the first and most effective place to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self control, the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home.”

Let’s split the quote into two parts:

“The home is the first and most effective place to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self control, the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life.”

Is there a better or more conducive way for families or citizens of the world to be raised and ready to positively contribute to the world than in the home? Sure, these lessons can be taught to some extent in school, religious institutions, work, social networks, etc. but are they comparable to a home where such things as truth, honor, virtue, self-control, the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life can be taught with love and nurturing? Isn’t the home a place where families (no matter what your definition of family may be) can share each other’s burdens and build each other up?

The second part of his quote:

“Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home.”

No matter what your view may be on what constitutes a family, you will likely see the logic of his argument for the home is the ideal institute for “rearing and teaching children” to prepare them to find meaning in a complex and challenging world.

In today’s popular culture and views, much attention is placed on saving the environment, righting social and economical injustices, etc. There is good to be done in such ‘global’ issues but seeking first to build a better home and resting and raising a strong generation in the home is a greater measure of one’s success. Again, I am not diminishing the need to address many of these global issues but we each have more control and influence in our homes than we do in changing world governments, behavior, policies, laws, etc.

For others, success at work or in social settings is a primary focus. Oftentimes, such aspirations and pursuits, while well-intentioned, come at the expense of the home.

While our challenges to living lives of truth, honor, virtue, self-control, valuing education, honest work, etc. may have dramatically increased, I think we can all recognize the wisdom of both J.E. McCulloch and David O. McKay’s statements. We must first start with what is most important and in our control and sphere of influence. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if these values and principles were taught in every home? Wouldn’t there be less war, murder, crime, hate, adultery, drug abuse, etc.?

Maybe it’s old-fashioned thinking but it seems that focusing on the home is still as sound as it was almost a hundred years ago.

Bray Brockbank is CMO and VP of Strategy for Brandegy, a specialized brand and digital marketing agency for technology companies. Bray has led marketing efforts for a wide range of B2B and B2C SaaS startups and tech enterprises. He has also served as a fractional CMO for several SaaS technology companies.