The Other Side of Praying

When I was a child, it was a ritual in our family to see movies of Amitabh Bachchan. I do not remember going to the theatre to see the movies of any other actor. I literally grew up on a staple diet of Amitabh Bachchan and I remain a big fan till this day. Whenever a new movie of his would be released, my father would go to the theatre to do an advance booking and on the D-day, we would all get ready well before time dressed up in our finest clothes and make a beeline to the theatre. My brother and I would spend the entire day & the previous night full of excitement & anticipation and the effect of the movie would linger on for days to come.

One day however, my father could not find time to do the advance booking so we took a chance and went to the theatre hoping to get the tickets on the spot and were met with a long serpentine queue. We could see our chances getting slimmer & slimmer as the line progressed and I panicked at the thought of seeing a “house-full” board before we reached the ticket window. I therefore started praying fervently to God begging him to let us have our tickets. I also said that I will never ask him for anything else ever again.

When my father heard me say that, he asked me why I was wasting my prayers on something as paltry as a movie ticket and whether I shouldn’t save my prayers for something bigger and more meaningful in life? Incidentally, God did answer my prayer that day and we did get our tickets but it is interesting to note how soon I forgot my prayer and telling God that “I will never ask you for anything else ever again”.

Thereafter the series of asks continued endlessly – “Please let me get the highest marks”, “please let me get well soon”, “please let me get this promotion” with “I will never ask you for anything else ever again” promptly said at the end of each prayer. It was absurd how I was cheating God and even more absurd was my lack of gratitude for every prayer that was answered. The ones that were not were followed by even more prayers with the question “Why me God, why me”?

Eventually, after I had lived my life for long enough, a kind of pattern emerged when I tried to join the dots backwards into my past. Some people might call such patterns “karmic cycles” which appear due to our stereotypical responses to certain events that have a knack of repeating themselves every few years. Studying those patterns, I realized that at times, I might not have got the highest marks always, but at least I did not fail in the examination, I might not have got a promotion sometime, but at least I did not lose my job, I might have been bedridden due to a long illness, but at least I did not die.

Most importantly, I realized that human beings can never be truly happy if they keep praying for materialistic things. I kept praying for higher salaries, better jobs, bigger houses, trips abroad, and a zillion other things which I got, so ideally, I shouldn’t be complaining about anything. But the thirst for more is never quenched unless you decide that what you have accumulated so far is enough and what you now need to live a truly fulfilling life is to be happy with what you have achieved, develop an attitude of gratitude, surround yourself with people who care for you, give back to the society and live a peaceful life.

Whether I have reached that utopian stage of self-actualization I cannot say, but what I have definitely learned is that the net result of my life at this point in time is strongly positive. If I zoom in and look at the details, I can see a whole lot of ups & downs but when I zoom out, the graph has an upward trend, in fact at times, exponentially so. It’s a matter of perspective. Zooming in is required to understand & learn from the finer details, zooming out is required to see and appreciate the big picture in the larger scheme of things.

And as far as prayers are concerned, I no longer pray to ask God for anything. I pray for him to take from me instead – take away the burden of my worries & anxieties and take my hand to guide me on to the right path. That way, I just concentrate on what needs to be done in the moment, and leave the rest to him knowing full well that whatever happens, I will be taken care of, I will get what I truly deserve and I will be thankful for it. Amen!