This other side of me… called Dr E

“You are such an extrovert !”?

That was - for the least - surprising to hear !?

My immediate reflex was to look around, searching for someone else who might have entered the meeting room inadvertently…?

But there was nobody else there actually !?

I looked back at my colleague sitting in front of me, and said incredulously :

“Who are you talking about ? Me ???”?

She nodded - and I could see that my reaction got her a bit intrigued.?

I could not help it… I started laughing !??

She ranked me as an extrovert… and yet, had she seen my Myers-Briggs result, she would have been quite surprised actually.?

Because according to this personality test, I am… quite the opposite.?

Which is in fact an understatement.?

According to it, I am not only an introvert. I am very very very (very !) introverted !

Harbouring a big smile, I just shook my head in disbelief.?

“This is not me you are talking about. You say that because you only met Dr E.”?

Now she looked at me, even more puzzled than initially !?

“Wait a minute… You are messing with me, right ? Aren’t you… Dr E ? ”?

“Well… not always, actually !”?

Dr E is a veterinarian, a canine reproduction specialist.?

And he KNOWS his thing.?

Give him the opportunity to talk about his area of expertise ? He WILL talk… probably endlessly.?

Challenge him on what he says ? He WILL answer right back at you… He will have strong arguments for his case. And he will challenge you back on what you are insinuating.?

Ask him for his opinion ? He WILL gladly give it, he might not even wait for you to ask. He openly shares his thoughts and ideas, not afraid of what anyone might think.?

Dr E exudes confidence, he takes action, he is bold and brave.?

He plays on his strengths, he does not care about his weaknesses.?

In this world, he is afraid of nothing.?

Dr E is… my alter ego so to speak.?

He is a fleeting presence, this other side of me that shows up from time to time when his opinion on canine reproduction is needed.?

He is the one who walks on stage to deliver a lecture, with a fierce look in his eyes and in his head, the “Eye of the Tiger” theme song playing.?

Me, on the contrary… well, let’s say I am more the Clark Kent version of him.?

I am the shy person who does not talk at all on conference calls.?

I am the one who feels totally drained after a day of business meetings.

I am the listener, the dreamer, the creator who enjoys the solitude of his basement to craft new ideas.?

I need time alone. I want time alone.?

So I can think. So I can create. So I can dream.?

That definitely fits the definition of an introvert don’t you think ?

Not exactly the flamboyant character Dr E is !?

Yet - it is what I like to consider “the real side” of me…?

And I am constantly challenged on this.?

I used to wish I could be Dr E more often… that he would show up in more situations…?

That he could help me change what others might think.?

Because I was so preoccupied by what others might think…?

I mean… I am CONSTANTLY reminded me of this.?

Sometimes it sounds like in this world, the only thing that matters is to please everybody.?

But should it be like this ??

The way I see things has however changed over the years…?

I realize that one does not always need to be flamboyant to create great things.?

Albert Einstein, Steven Spielberg, Mahatma Gandhi, Charles Darwin,?Abraham Lincoln, Steve Wozniak… there is a very long list of introverts who achieved greatness.?

I guess they as well were constantly judged and challenged on who they really are.?

And yet - somehow, they overcame this ; they went on to leave their name in history.

Was it easy for them ?

I don’t know actually… I should probably read their biography :)?

A couple of years ago though, I listen to a great audio book that taught me the following :?

“Oftentimes, in order to do the big things, you have to let the small bad things happen.” ?

You have to let the small bad things happen…?

Let that sink in…

It is impossible to please everybody.?

Some will love what you are doing… but others will hate it. Undeniably.?

This is the reality, we have to accept it.?

And we MUST move past this.?

Because it is probably one of those “small bad things”.?

I don’t want to win the popularity contest. Not anymore at least.?

Sometimes we get so caught up trying to please everyone, that we end up forgetting what we stand for and what we are trying to achieve.

While we should only focus on the “big things”. ?

Yep - this is where I decide to concentrate all my mental energy.?

This is from where I want to draw positivity.?

There are times sure, Dr E will help me.?

Other times though, he won’t be needed. I’ll need the creator, this “other side” of me.

I used to think it was my dark side… but it is not actually.

Whether others like it or not does not matter - really.?

People can only accept me for who I am: a (very) complex being.?

Yes, I get it - it can be irritating sometimes.?

But we can all be irritating in a way, can’t we ??

We are all complex.?

We are all multifaceted.?

And we have to come to peace with this.?

In the end, Dr E is part of me… as I am part of Dr E.?

In our own unique ways, we can both bring value into the world - I am now convinced about this.?

Introverts, extroverts… This is a very dichotomic way of seeing things.?

We can be both. It simply depends on the situation and the necessity.?

It all comes down to what we truly want to achieve.?

For our own sake, we need to be clear on this.?

And then, the path forward is accepting our complexity - and somehow embracing it.?

This is the secret to unlock our full potential I think.

If we want to fix something in the world, we must first… fix ourselves so to speak.?

Obviously - it works both ways.?

We also need to accept the fact that others are also multifaceted.?

But we should not linger on this.?

With some, it will immediately click. With others… not really.?

Not everyone is compatible.?

If it does not work out, it does not mean it is the end of the story.?

It does not mean you should stop everything and stop believing…?

I learned something great from this discussion I had with my colleague.?

I learned that in the end, Dr E and I are one and only.?

Two sides of the same coin… none to be neglected !?

I learned that I need to accept this.?

And that I need to stay positive - whatever others might think.?

Accepting who we are AND staying positively focused on our “big things”… ?

Just by doing that, we can all accomplish great things.?