Other peoples needs

I have a blog. Not a new thing to do, not even an important thing. Perhaps to you not even a relevant thing. So why the story? To blog is to opine. Present an opinion or position without being interrupted. To wax eloquent and be verbose on a topic of interest and perhaps, to only yourself. You may be urbane, succinct, poignant, perhaps even spot on and erudite. If you are all these things but only to yourself, well, good luck with that. That type of expression is what it is and of what value it is until it is the way you speak to your companions, co-workers, underlings, friends. When you look around and the group is shrinking, it really might be about you.

Malcolm Gladwell talks about this in an oblique way in the book "The Tipping Point" when he discusses the three people that are needed to be a part of a successful "tribe" (my word not his). These are; The Maven, Connector, and the Salesman. While each has a place the most any one person can be is two of these at any given time. The easy test is to make a list of your friends and then draw lines to how you became their friend. It is always through the Connector, and the distribution is always very high in their being the central figure to the bulk of that group, unless it is revealed that the connector is you. While the maven knows much about a small number of items the salesman is the one that thinks life is fun and promotes that message through the connector about where the next event is going to take place.

What is the connection to the blog? It has to matter. Your eloquence about the mass of a small moon near Saturn will reveal the value (or lack) that you have as a maven to the small group of like minded moon watchers, but that select group will also have a "connector" and if that person gives it a positive review then the number grows, and also the inverse. This matters to the blog the same as the number of followers that people have on Linkedin. Many will have 2-400 followers and then there are those that have many thousand. Perhaps they are a maven on a business industry or topic, perhaps they are a connector only but to many people that are also connectors and have a very catholic friend group. Perhaps they have been in a wide range of industries, proved to be a friendly sort and never lose a connection all while getting more people recommending that their friends connect to their other friends. All, and more, are the possibility.

Here is the point. When was the last time you looked to see if you are a friendly and connectable person? Perhaps your skillset and your dispossession are limited. The group is specific and the interest in others small and you don't care... that is cool. Until is isn't. You see, friends move on, pass away, get grumpy or just get tired of your pompous crap and always seem to be busy when you call. And then you are a blog of one. The ability to be in that insulated group of tolerable indulgence is fine until something changes. There will always be the "new star" on the big screen, or the sports team, and while the Minnesota Vikings have a new and shiny stadium who remembers the "also ran" fleeting glimmer of a star from times back. I was in Detroit and had some wonderful BBQ in a place franchised by a former star with a blown out knee and a shortened career. Without a connected group he would have been a great BBQ master, but with a seating capacity of one.

What to do? Check your list, Santa still does. See if you are naughty or nice. It is found in your group of friends. Some are promoters of your value. Some know you very well. Some will introduce you to their friends. I have a friend in South Dakota that has only a few but very close friends. I asked if she has a "B team", the ones that can step up when one of the "A team" unexpectedly has a change in status. She did. It was the list I was on. Knowing that while I was not in her circle of three or four, but on the ready reserves when they were all busy and she needed help. Her parents both died unexpectedly, in a tragic wreck last Christmas. The call went past the three or four. It is a place that says "you matter to me". Perhaps it is a "big ask" and perhaps it is simply the same order for goods from a person that expects the same great service, but you get the call. Sometimes it is the call that you have to make. Perhaps you need to "phone a friend" that you haven't touched base with in a while. Perhaps you need to connect, once again. Be the one that does. They will thank you for thinking of them. You know how that would feel, if they did it to you.