This is no ordinary golf ball

It’s a reminder. It’s a symbol. It's a lesson. It’s about character. It’s about integrity.

It’s a treasured ball in our household because of what it represents.

It’s not the Nike symbol on it. It’s not the random display of sharpie dots. It’s not a hole-in-one ball or the ball that made some miraculous shot during that one tournament.

It’s literally just a ball.

Well, more specifically, this is the ball of a recent competitor. A girl who won a tournament that 2 of my girls were playing in.

I know because this particular morning started with an impromptu meeting of players and parents grouped together about 20 minutes before tee-time and we were all talking golf when the young lady pulled out her ball and explained her unique pattern to us and showed us the ball she’d be playing.

She was fun & upbeat and it was a great start to the day.

From there, each of the girls showed their unique balls and everyone was ‘in the know’ and there would be no confusion.

Fast forward to the 15th hole. A drive to the right by one of the girls. Another to the right. Another to the right. And then, a long, errant drive over a small hill and behind some trees off to the left where none of the girls could see it.

From my viewpoint, I noted quickly where the ball came in and, based on it’s trajectory, about where it would be (something I always do to help locate missing balls).

I helped the girls on the right locate their balls fairly quickly and they prepared their shots.

I then noticed that the girl who hit off to the left had walked about 40 yards farther than where I thought her ball was, and, just as I started to alert her to it she stopped and hit her ball.

From where she hit, she had an incredible line to the pin, hit it close and ended up with a birdie.

Good stuff!

All the girls told her how good her shot was and congratulated her while she ate it up.

I watched, smiled, & nodded my head slowly while my mind wandered backwards and wouldn’t let me forget what I’d just seen.

I told my wife and other 2 kids to go ahead and that I’d catch up as I wanted to see something first.

I went over to where I thought her ball went out only to see that it was all marked as out of bounds. 

White lines. Clear as day.

Interesting.

Where she hit from was in bounds, but not where I thought the ball was.

About 45 seconds into my out-of-bounds-search in the approximate area where I thought the ball would be, it appeared.

I recognized the exact markings on it.

I looked up and verified it was on the line I thought it was on. It was.

I walked back over and looked to the tee box to verify that there wasn’t another group hitting yet and there wasn’t as they weren’t there yet.

I then looked around to see if there was another group of people maybe looking for a ball with identical markers. Nope. No one around.

So I picked it up and didn’t say anything.

I watched the rest of the round and then watched this girl accept her first place trophy while chuckling and saying how lucky she was as she had played so poorly.

I just smiled and congratulated her.

Why did I not say anything?

1. It wasn’t my daughter who did this (if it had been, she would most likely have been disqualified).

2. Parents aren’t allowed to call rules infractions on other players.

3. There was very little at stake and I chose to use it as a lesson for the future instead of right then.

4. It would have been extremely uncomfortable for her, for her parents, and for everyone involved.

So… That night, at dinner, I pulled out the ball and said “does anyone recognize this ball?”

All 4 kids recognized it immediately and one of them asked “How’d you get her ball, dad?”

“Remember on the 15th hole when…” is how I started out. At the end of the story, their jaws were all wide open in disbelief.

To say the least, they were mad.

Not me though.

I was glad to have an opportunity like this present itself when, in reality, it didn’t mean that much.

I spoke to them, in detail, about what that ball represents.

In short, there were a few takeaways I hope they remember:

1. You have to trust your partners, but that doesn’t mean you don’t verify along the way.

2. Cheating at golf is a slippery slope. The more you do it, the easier it becomes and the better you get. Some people are really good at this but you have to pay close attention.

3. Getting away with cheating doesn’t make it right, nor does it let you sleep well at night. 

4. Doing the right thing even when no one is watching is still the right thing.

5. Sometimes mistakes happen (unintentional cheating) and people learn their lessons. If you realize you made a mistake later and ‘got away with it’ (happens to everyone in some form or fashion), learn the lesson instead of thinking about how you can try it again next time. Sometimes, these are the exact lessons you need to get better at whatever it is you’re doing.

6. It’s hard to believe in yourself if you win by cheating. I’d dare say it has the opposite effect on most people as their subconscious thoughts get the best of them and beat them in the end.

7. Cheating is a short-term strategy and is unsustainable (no matter what you’re cheating in).

8. Cheating doesn’t guarantee a win, but it does guarantee a personal loss of integrity (and that’s not easy to replace, but it’s possible).

Unless you truly don’t care or have been taught that cheating is okay (in that case, all this is lost on you).

You see, golf is a lot like business. In just about every industry there are truly good people and there are those who will cheat you. On the surface, they all look the same.

The people who cheat in golf are more likely to have lots of practice bending rules and/or cheating people in one way or another in other areas of their lives. They’re good at it, and it’s everywhere. Sometimes it’s within a company with reporting, statistics, invoices, terms & conditions, contracts, accounting; sometimes it’s specific roles or titles such as cashiers, sales (in general), payroll managers, HR, hourly employees, CEOs, etc.; and sometimes it’s just in general where people can hide and get away with it within religious organizations, hospitals, politics, media, phone companies, etc.

Is it everyone? Absolutely No!

Is it in every industry? Absolutely Yes!

It’s not always easy to spot, but it’s there… I promise.

Have people (as a whole) learned to justify it by saying they have to make a living or that they’re better than someone else in some way? I believe they have.

Have we (as a global society) learned to accept that it’s everywhere and lowered our standards instead of holding people accountable? I believe we have.

I love seeing someone (or businesses) take ownership of mistakes and accept their responsibility - especially those that don’t give up immediately thereafter and they come back harder and faster the next time with a renewed sense of purpose as if to say “I learned my lesson and I’m better for it.”

Conversely, I can’t stand it when someone or some business blatantly, and with confidence, looks to cheat someone else and is more interested in what they can get now instead of building long-term relationships.

Bottom line is this. Be alert, present and awake in all your dealings. Trust people and businesses but verify along the way. And last, intentional cheating is a self-defeating practice that genuinely keeps players in all games and industries from ever truly reaching their full potential.

Be better, play hard, and win or lose with integrity, no matter what game you’re playing.

That’s really what we all want to see.

#golflessons #jrpga #pga #lpga #cheatingingolf #lifelessons #dontcheatyourself #beyourbestself #character #integrity