Oppression & Inequality: Not at ‘Home,’ Not at Work, Not Anywhere

My name is Giadha Aguirre de Carcer. Some in my still small industry may know of me as the founder of New Frontier Data, but most likely do not know me at all.?My story is my own, but it is also a familiar one. ?As a woman, a minority, an immigrant, and an entrepreneur, I have faced – and continue to face - many challenges in my life. Along the way, I have received support and counsel from strangers who changed my life and made me who I am proud to be today. It is with these facts in mind that I look at oppression and inequality, both at home and abroad, and feel compelled to speak out and add my voice and story to those seeking to end these injustices.

Parwana

On November 1st, 2021,” CNN reports on the story of Parwana Malik, a 9-year-old Afghani girl whose father sold her to a stranger as a child bride “so her family could eat.”?The sheep, land, and cash totaling no more than a couple thousands U.S. dollars in value “will only sustain the family for a few months,” as had been the case when Parwana’s father “sold her 12-year-old sister” just a few months earlier.

Following the recent U.S. military withdrawal from Afghanistan, the Taliban’s aggressive oppression of civilians has been nothing short of atrocious. Women, in particular, have been thrust back in time by a self-appointed leadership whereby burqas are again mandated, child brides are on the rise[1], and women are generally being shown ‘their place’ in a patriarchal and extremist Wahabi society.

Due to the Taliban's violent takeover of Afghanistan, education, equal pay, and general social equality have regressed to a point in which fleeing Afghanis have come to seek refuge in the United States. As a country that champions the principles of democracy and free will, it is understandable why Afghani refugees seek to re-establish their livelihoods here. It is certainly no surprise to me, as I too emigrated to this marvelous land of opportunity searching for that elusive justice I had read about, simply hoping for equal rights at work and at home.

Inequality

Tragically, widespread global domestic abuse worsened during the pandemic. Even within our own United States of America, the oppression of women is a long-standing problem that has only recently been given the attention it is due. Women were denied the right to vote for nearly 150 years, and today, social justice movements like #MeToo illustrate the continued need to stand up to oppression and sexual violence in the ‘developed’ world. ?In fact, and quite sadly, sexism, gender inequality, and general ?abuse, particularly verbal and emotional, remain ‘alive and well’ within Corporate America, accepted by both men and women who look the other way - embarrassed, afraid, or annoyed - systematically silencing those who are brave enough to speak up.

Inequality and abuse have no place at work, at home, in Afghanistan, in the United States, or anywhere else. ?We live in a time in which we microwave food, communicate wirelessly, and will soon embark on interplanetary traveling; we are clearly not savages, so why is such barbaric behavior still allowed and tolerated by so many?

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Oppression

I am living proof that superiority complexes, oppression, and abuse, take on many forms still deemed acceptable in the ‘developed’ world. Following a restricted childhood, conformant to traditionally rigid patriarchal and religious norm - despite a fortunate upbringing in some of the ‘freest’ nations in the world such as Italy, France and Spain - I found myself being forced to marry a man twice my age shortly after my 18th birthday, right here in the United States.?

I barely spoke English, I had just graduated from high school, I was na?ve, innocent, and fully indoctrinated, and so I wanted to do what was ‘right’ by my family. ?For three years I was treated like a pretty possession, regularly spoken down to, disrespected, disregarded, and humiliated, often made to entertain in ways that still shame me to my core today.?

In no way did my situation remotely compare to what Parwana and her sister are going, and have gone, through. ?My challenges paled in comparison to what Afghani women and girls face today; girls like CNN-profiled 10-yearold Magul who so shockingly, yet utterly sincerely, stated, “If they make me go, I will kill myself.”?

Home of Opportunity

Women everywhere deserve what all human beings deserve: Freedom, Safety, and Opportunity. ?These three principles translate into so many diverse things, from equal education, career opportunity, and pay, to the freedom to vote and choose one’s partner. ?Conversely, these principles also pertain to the right to be safe from abuse, whether physical, verbal, or emotional, at work or at home, by family or stranger.?

Women in Afghanistan have been stripped of these basic human rights. The situation in Afghanistan appears dire with no end in sight, and those oppressed deserve our continued awareness, ongoing hope, and our help in any way we can provide it. ?Unfortunately, even the refugees who have fled Afghanistan, especially women and children, are now facing the terrifying reality of having abandoned everything they have ever known, and of having to start anew with no education or language skills, in a foreign land, displaced, alone, and afraid of the colossal uncertainty the future holds.

But here, in the United States of America, they could have the unique opportunity of a brighter future. The same opportunity our homeland has offered so many of us, an opportunity that can only live on if we stand strong in our resolve to uphold the human principles that have made this nation great, never looking away or staying quiet when faced with a truth we know is wrong, and open to giving a stranger a little help, even if to just one.

Only Takes One

I believe that those faced with great adversity such as oppression or abuse experience either great pain, great anger, or both, and can often end up succumbing to pain-induced depression, or violence fueled by anger. Either way, it takes resilience and courage to overcome it, and when that fortitude is rewarded and nurtured with opportunity and help, not only can the healing process begin; great achievements and successes can also be forged.?

After confronting my own pain and anger, I was given the opportunity to study, work, and build a career, I was given a chance at the American Dream. ?Every step of the way, I was helped by one stranger or another who- with one single act, one short moment, or one simple word- encouraged and guided me along. ?While my personal, and now professional, battles are far from over, new challenges emerging seemingly daily, trusting there is help emboldens me to face them head on, and bolsters my determination to push ahead and somehow pull through.

For some, helping might mean donating hard earned money, while others may go as far as to open their homes to the displaced. ?Regardless, with the help of others, some, if not many, of the Afghani refugees will not only have a chance at healing, but also the opportunity to build meaningful lives and go on to achieve great successes.

Please join me in extending a helping hand, assisting them however you can, keeping their stories in your heart and remembering that:

It often only takes one - one truth, once chance, one helping hand - to change the lives of many, but even if that of just one, it can make a world of difference.

Help from afar AND right where you are:

From wherever you are, support the services available to victims of abuse like the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Closer to your home, learn more about the best ways to get involved in refugee resettlement efforts.

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[1] According to CNN, “Since the Taliban’s takeover, stories like Parwana’s have been on the rise.” Marrying off children under 15 is illegal nationwide in Afghanistan, but “it has been commonly practiced for years … and it has only spread since August [2021], driven by widespread hunger and desperation.”