An opportunity for a sabbatical should be taken at least once in a lifetime. (9 min read)

My last working day was Friday 31st of December 2021 and I am writing this on the first days of 2023 as I am about to start a new job. One of the most common questions I have been asked through 2022 has been - “when will you start working again?” And through all 2022 I did not have an exact answer, at least not with an exact date. The fact that I knew what and why I was taking a break made me fully at peace with it. Now, a year later I can say that it was a great decision to take a sabbatical, which took me on the best year of my life so far.?

Why did I decide to take a sabbatical?

Pandemic, toxic work environment, as well as my own lack of self-discipline (and self-respect) led me down a rabbit hole of approaching burnout in Spring of 2021. Thanks to all the available articles (e.g. HBR article “Burnout Is About Your Workplace, Not Your People”) and discussions in social media on mental health and burnout symptoms I was aware that I am heading down a slippery slope. Summer of 2020 I had started a new job - taken on a new role, which during the recruitment process seemed like a dream job. Managing a global team and starting a new project to transform the whole Source-to-Pay end-to-end process, with implementation of a new software (Saas). Very exciting. I threw myself fully into it with not much limits (balance) for working hours. Initially I did not track my working hours, but later started putting them down on a file. At some periods I was averaging over 12 hours per day and over 60 hours per week. Yes, sometimes putting in some hours on the weekends. Not to mention the vacation days I took also had some work hours. On top of all that, the culture at work was pretty toxic, with little respect for people. I must say it was the stereotypical American overwork culture with a slice of toxic positivity. Pretending that everything is great from the surface, but in 1on1 and smaller meetings things were quite different, as metrics were not good and people were constantly leaving. Why did I not leave then earlier? As a manager (people leader) I felt responsible for them and that I would be letting them down. So I found myself a goal. One to keep me motivated and second to see a possible end. Goal was to get through the transformation project, as that was one of the main reasons I had joined in the first place. Leaving while the project was still ongoing felt like I would let down my teams, people I had hired and to whom I had been selling the positive change the transformation project will bring. I felt like I would be giving up and I clearly did not want someone to think of me as a failure, especially not my team.?

Lowest point?

Spring 2021 was the lowest point. My body and mind started to feel the toll of long hours and stress that came along with the environment. The usual symptoms of burnout were present - feeling overwhelmed, helpless, trapped and most of the time drained of energy and ability to focus. My sleep was getting worse. Struggling to fall asleep and waking up slightly sweating thinking of the next day's tasks at work. For weeks I was struggling more and more. I did bring it up with my manager and after an open discussion manager admitted that there is much too much on my plate and that some changes will be made. Some of the responsibilities were lifted off me temporarily for the project period as a consequence. As well an external coach support was made available. A Senior leader in the company reached out to me to (try) to provide support. He said words that I remember so vividly today: “You are a tough guy, you will manage!” It was right before Easter holiday. I had rented a cabin on an island for a getaway weekend with my girlfriend to have some time off. On the way to the cabin on the ferry I was already on my laptop answering work emails. No surprise that all that weekend I could not sleep properly or disconnect my thoughts from work for longer than an hour. Not long after that I finally understood that I won't manage by myself. Therefore I used a help line provided by the company. I was connected with a local therapist and got a visit scheduled in a few days time. During the therapy sessions, the idea of taking some time off emerged. During summer I set more concrete goals and started making plans. To finish the project and then submit my resignation to start my sabbatical of minimum 6 months and potentially up to a year. I had calculated that my financial situation could sustain comfortably up to 1 year of time off. But before getting to planning the sabbatical, I had to get to it. It was only June when I had made the decision, so I had half a year to work through. Project was picking up and in the most active phase and demanded more and more of time and attention. The hardest and most painful part was seeing my colleagues and direct reports struggle as well and at the same time not feeling myself to a 100% capacity to be able to help them more.

Things that did help to navigate through this half a year:

• Picking up mindfulness practice with the help of apps (e.g. Headspace and WakingUp).
• Continuing regular therapist visits (every second or third week)
• Finding the moments calm during the working day (e.g. at lunchtime go out in the park to meditate or just walk barefoot in grass).

Also one must not underestimate the power of socializing and relationships when you are not at your best feeling. Understanding and support from my girlfriend really help. Having a run or a walk with a friend to talk to was also very relaxing. However all of this did not help me to improve the overall condition and change my mind about the sabbatical.

Planning the sabbatical?

As of January 2022 I went on sabbatical, yet I had done some homework before. I strongly believe that you should create some structure also for the time off. Which at least initially will be helpful not to create stress or new anxieties in the potentially unknown situation. Which was new for me. Waking up without having work to go to and a list of meetings to attend, a list of tasks to move off the to-do list. So for my first month I set only one goal - no plan, no goals, no online webinars, conferences. Just allowed myself to have a good sleep, read books, listen to music, walk, run. The most satisfying and relaxing thing for the first month turned out to be cleaning snow around the house. Let's call this first month the time for yourself to heal and reconnect with yourself. In two weeks I felt my energy levels go up and my mood improve constantly. I wanted to joke and laugh more. Also I used this month as a digital detox opportunity. In the morning I did not touch my phone long after breakfast was eaten and snow cleaned. On the weekends I also stayed away from the phone and picked up a book instead. Second month was with some more concrete goals. I had already before listed people I want to connect or reconnect with, books to read and potential online courses to take on. And also find some adventurous opportunities for travel, voluntary work. I won't go into details of sharing all the events that have made 2022 the best year of my life so far. What I want to share is that having a straw plan will be helpful as you embark on your sabbatical period, yet I encourage you to leave an open door to opportunities that will come as you explore more.

Just to name few of my special moments through 2022 and what they gave me:

• A little getaway trip to Paris - to reset in a different environment right after starting the sabbatical
• Volunteering on a the main tech and startup event in the Baltics - TechChill Riga - seeing and getting inspired by creative, energetic and not afraid to fail start-up founders (not to mention the fun side events and socializing)?
• Filming as an extra on TV series “Sisi” - seeing what work, amount of people it takes to build just few seconds of a TV show that the end user (viewer) will see. On top getting a funny mustache barber cut and cool uniform to wear.?
• 10 day silent meditation retreat - the most deep experience I've ever had with my mind
• One month in Iceland, part of "Volcano Huts" team to take care of accommodations for hikers - being part of an? international team of little over 20 and NOT being a leader, executing daily tasks (and many hours hiking, running in the beautiful nature)
• One full month of volunteer work on an Organic Farm in Norway through WWOOF (https://wwoof.net/) - practical experience and knowledge of vegetable and flower growing (and many hours hiking, running in beautiful nature, swimming in fjord)
• First time rock-climbing in Czech Republic with friends that met while in Iceland - that I am a little afraid of heights, yet I can overcome it?
• Many sunrises, watching the sea, clouds, birds - appreciation for time and life in general

Conclusion

If you experience any of the symptoms of burnout (Article “How to Recognize Burnout Symptoms”) or you keep finding yourself “stuck” for over 5, 10 years.. I advise you to consider having a sabbatical, break or time for you (doesn’t matter how you call it). And it does not mean you have to leave your work. There are more and more companies these days that realize the value of these types of breaks and offer such opportunities for employees. Again, don't rush such a decision, it can’t be an emotional decision after a bad meeting, bad 1on1 with your manager, or conflict with a colleague, manager. Don’t make an emotional decision. Evaluate your options (e.g. financial situation). There must be a reason why you need a break. I decided about and started planning my sabbatical for about 6 months before I actually stopped working. Creating a straw plan for the minimum of 6 months sabbatical and financial considerations helped me to be at an ease with my decision. I see my sabbatical as a huge investment in my mental health and grit, feeling ready to take on new challenges and possibly even more importantly - wanting to take on new challenges. Sabbatical can be the answer for many, but not all. So be honest to yourself when you are considering taking time off, are you just jumping the hype and looking for an escape or you really need one.?