Opening up about menopause

There are reasons to be hopeful this World Menopause Day. Over the last few years, the public conversation about menopause and its symptoms has opened up – sparking some improvements in healthcare provision, the emergence of tailored workplace policies, and – all in all – what seems to be a gradual reduction in workplace stigma.

And while there are, of course, significant variations in how menopause is discussed and addressed in different parts of the world, this overall progress is starting to show in data.

The 德勤 Global Women @ Work 2023: A Global Outlook research – which surveyed over 5,000 women in workplaces across 10 countries – found that more women were comfortable sharing their challenges around menopause symptoms with their employer than those related to menstruation. While 40% of women who reported suffering from pain or symptoms associated with menstruation said they don’t take time off work, this reduces to one in five of those suffering from symptoms associated with menopause. Of these, nearly a third gave the real reason for the time off to their employer and received support (a much greater number than the 10% of those who took time off for menstruation pain or symptoms). There remains a long way to go on both issues, but these numbers suggest that the workplace stigma around the menopause is lessening at a faster pace than other areas of women’s health.

So, what can be done to further enable this stigma reduction? While the workplace absolutely has a critical role to play, my own experience makes me wonder if there is also another important part of the answer. Let me explain why.

A year ago, I wrote a personal account of my experience of going through menopause and received by far the biggest response to any article I have ever written: so many women got in touch with me, all of them saying how much reading such a candid testimony from a business leader meant to them – and many sharing their own stories for the first time.

Since publishing that piece, I have spoken or written quite a few times about both the menstrual disorder I struggled with for decades (endometriosis) and my experience of menopause – each time prompting the same outpouring of thanks and personal stories.

This is causing me to wonder why it is that – at a time when both public awareness and workplace support are increasing – so many women think hearing a senior leader share their menopause story is so unusual? Why are we not yet talking to our colleagues about this, as much as we may do about mental health – a subject that until a few years ago was often heavily stigmatized?

I don’t have the answer to this, but I can look at my own experience for clues.

Opening up about my menstrual and menopausal struggles last year was a deeply personal and scary step for me – I was so worried I would be judged. And when I think about it again, I recognise that my fears of being judged were definitely stronger when it comes to discussing menopause than my experience of endometriosis. If I am really honest, I think this is because I felt that talking about menopause said something about my age, and – in my mind at least – exposing myself to people thinking I may be “past it”. And it is hard not to feel that sharing some of my symptoms, for example brain fog, insomnia, or a memory that isn’t what it was, could result in people perceiving me as weak or not up to the job.

Of course, none of this is true and I certainly would never think this about other women who I know have gone, or are going, through similar experiences and yet are delivering amazing work and leadership day after day, building on years of knowledge and insights.

So, as I examine my own thought process from this time a year ago, I wonder if an element of ‘self-stigma’ could be to blame for an apparent lack of peer-to-peer conversations around menopause. Is fear of judgment holding us back from sharing our stories at work and supporting others who are also struggling now, or who could greatly benefit from our advice in years to come?

What I do know is that having worked hard to get to where I am, with a long-standing chronic health condition that I hid for many years – while also often being in a minority – talking about this phase of life to some of my colleagues was much harder than it is to talk to friends outside of work. Yet I can see that each time I find the courage to do so, it benefits those around me and makes it that bit easier to do it again next time.

So, my call to action this World Menopause Day is this: if you feel able to do so, please share your story with colleagues, answer the questions, and offer support. Try and silence that inner voice which says that talking to colleagues about your personal experience of menopause may open you to criticism or make you vulnerable. The chances are that people around you will think you are stronger for it, not weaker.