An Open Letter to Respected Society

My social reality is different from a man’s.?

Yes, we inhabit the same milieu yet we live in the universe apart. Our societal notions make the difference.

Before you tag the post as misandristic, I’d want you to reconsider.

And since you’re still sticking around, you can deserve the context.

I’m neither a misandrist nor a misogynist. To tell you the truth, gender bias never makes sense to me.

Now, what makes me conscious of gender bias then???

Because of the society, I live in, in there it exists.

It’s not on me though, society will make you feel its presence, through its judgment, by their attitude, their values.

And hence I’m writing this post.

For a 30-something, single woman living alone in India, navigating her days through the complex social web, would easily qualify me as a rebel, even if I’m not.

It’s the society that’s incapable of accommodating —my preference to forge a life of my own —my lack of drive to fit in —my aversion towards conformity, that confers me the tag.

Because they don’t know how to respect a woman’s preference. They can’t support our choice enough. For lack of a better word, they choose to use a blanket term—Rebel.

Pouring the same sauce on veg and non-veg. Forgetting the difference between decent and indecent. Overlooking all the markers that make me dignified.??

Because it’s much more convenient for them to generalize. And then, they deem our single hood too bold and risky for society. They suspect imminent contamination without a valid context.

And that way, to them, I’m a rebel. I’m that hapless displeasure they wish didn’t exist.

Because what is against their norm is a vote for the other side. And if enough vote mounts up, can challenge the edifice of the society.

Is this the same for a? man? I can think of a No.

Do you think it’s untrue??

Then, how come my lone visit to malls, book shops, my travels, and my date with myself earns judgemental stares?

What made you question my personal life based on the relationship status??

I can bet, it’s not the same for a man of my age, from my socio-economic strata.?

I so wish, I lived in a more inclusive(mindset-wise) place.

||My Open Letter to? Society||

Respected Society,

I know, you can wax eloquent on how you’re concerned about my protection.

It’s an irony though, that these concerns stem from the way you’re built. The society where harassment, violence against women, disrespect, maltreatment, body shaming, and inequality prevails acutely or mildly. Be it indoor or outdoor.?

Are you telling me, relationship or marital status changes my proximity toward safety? I’d badly want to believe you, but then I know better through my own failed relationship and others’ marital experiences.?

For some people I conversed with, the marriage turned into legalized prostitution: only transaction, zero attachment.?

And you normalize your ways while fearing my free movement. I wish you could act on your flaw. Better educate to change the mindset of people. Look at the dysfunction that you normalized.

The sense of freedom that I own seeks no outside approval though. And I’m aware that you’ll never make my journey easier, or safer, either.

My conscience supports me and I’m aware of my safety need,? that’s the courage ? I need to trudge this rough terrain.

That’s it from me.

—Suchismita, your misfit occupant?

P.S.: I’ve no qualms about people having fulfilling relationships and marriages.