An Open Letter to Mr Peter Obi

Prof Paul Iji

Peter, nwa-nnem, permit me to send you this long letter.?Congratulations on securing the ticket to run for the presidency in 2023.?It was the right thing to do, to leave the PDP, which has always been a cash-and-carry party, and move to the Labour Party.?I am happy that you did not switch to APC (is it the same as the Paracetamol we were taking in the 60s?) because the APC has just been blaming PDP for 7 good years.?I am most happy for you that even if you lose, this time, like me, you will be called “former presidential aspirant”, not the lowly “vice-presidential aspirant”.?I attained the title of “former aspirant” way back in 1999 when the country returned to democracy.?To be honest, I cannot remember exactly what I aspired to be in 1999 but yes, I was in the race.?In the end, I did not run but I was still an aspirant.?I am sure you will win, so you will be President Peter Obi in 2023 and not “former presidential aspirant”.?I don’t know why I always have plan B, and sometimes, I even have plans C and D, so pardon me if I ever think that you could be a “former presidential aspirant”.?Even this year, I stood again for presidential nomination but INEC said that I did not have a party.?Why did we copy the presidential system from America and did not include independent candidacy??Are they afraid that some of us who are afraid of the political parties could stand on our own and win??Hmmm.?All the same, I am happy to have aspired and can continue to call myself “former presidential candidate”.?There is God.

Peter and Paul.?Ha.?These are like brothers in Christianity, so I am sure I can confidently call you “nwa-nnem” in my pidgin Igbo.?But honestly, Peter, the very first time that I came across you in politics, I knew that you could be the saviour of any community.?We share a lot in common, apart from the Peter and Paul biblical bit.?Most people believe that I do not dress fancifully.?Like you, I would never buy a suit for US$4000.?What the hell for??Will the suit take me to heaven??Is it Prophet Elijah’s power-filled cloak??I would give the money to the poor, and not even buy any suit at all.?I am not comfortable in a suit and tie.?For that matter, why do people wear a tie??Which sadist developed that sense of fashion, for people to choke themselves and not breathe freely.?I am at home in T-shirts; what they call bula shirts in Fiji, and our simple Eastern Nigerian native.?I say “our Eastern” because that’s where Benue State really is; it has never been in the North and the northerners don’t pretend to accept us as northerners.?They even call us Nyamirin Arewa (Northern Igbos) and we are very happy with that name.?In fact, some years back, I asked my wife to google your images and see what you wear, so that she could buy me the same fabric, Peter, nwa-nnem.?I can follow you to battle, blindfolded because I understand what you are saying.

Sorry, I was talking about the similarities between us.?Pastor Mbaka and many other people say that you are very stingy.?Many people also think that I am very stingy.?How could you be a Governor for 8 years, and you were a multi-millionaire before then, and still be living in Onitsha??Your colleagues are all living in Abuja.?I have the same problem, when I am in Nigeria, I stay mostly in the sleepy village of Opiem-Owo.?I hate the cities and actually pity the city people.?Secondly, I live overseas and I am not distributing enough dollars and Euros.?Most people wonder if I don’t live in the suburb with the dollar trees or the dollar river.?Peter, nwa-nnem, sometimes I wonder whether you are related to the legendary Peter Nwanna that I read about in the booklet, Chike and the River, written by our Uncle, the late Chinua Achebe.?I am sure you have read the book, being from Onitsha.?In the book, Peter Nwanna was said to be very rich but stingy and even when children said “good morning” to him, he would answer “three pounds”, since he was always counting money! ?Uncle Chinua also said that Nigeria is a country that can dip its hand into the mouth of success and bring out failure.?I don’t know where he got such wacky ideas from.?Is Nigeria a magician??No wonder, they did not give him the Nobel Prize for literature. ??

Peter, nwa-nnem, let me try and make this short so that you can go back to your campaign.?I think you have come too early for the time.?Nigeria needs to be rescued but the forces holding it, I daresay, are not going to let go.?We are a very stratified society.?Rather than build roads, the people at the top tend to fly; they go for treatment overseas; they send their children to study overseas; they dig their own boreholes and drink heavy metals from them; they use their own big generators, and inhale the carbon monoxide, and they cannot pay other people N30k but they are collecting N30m per month.?I can go on and on but I have to stop recounting these boundaries.?

What is this your talk about pulling people out of poverty??My brother, you need to go and read your Bible oooo; even Jesus Christ said that the poor will be here with us until he returns.?Are you trying to challenge our Master??You were also quoted as saying that other countries are giving computers to their youth to develop while the Nigerian government, through SARS, takes private computers away from the youth.?Bro Peter, computers are bad for the children.?I can see how Nigerian youth have taken over the music world and are selling out the O2 Arena and Madison Square Gardens.?If Nigeria was secure, a lot of people will be pouring in to dance to Kizz Daniel’s Buga right now.?Or dance to Flavour, Burna Boy, Simi, Tiwa, Tekno, and the whole crowd of scintillating musicians (the Gospel ones are a force on their own) that are pouring out of Nigeria.?Oh, how could I forget Teni, the bull-dozer??I listened to her song in which she was saying that her papa no be Dangote; no be Adeleke but dem dey okay.?Did Davido hear the song??This Teni girl likes to cause trouble.?And the whole music thing is not even good for our souls.?Our rulers have worked hard over the years to prepare us for heaven.?What shall it profit a man (or woman) to gain the whole world and lose his or her soul??I know that they themselves enjoy the earth and don’t worry about their souls.?By the way, Bro Peter, do our rulers have any soul??

Okay, let’s leave music, which may send us to hell fire.?Bro Peter, I am sure that you know that Nigerians are the most educated nationality in the United States of America today.?They also earn the highest average salary.?Of course, you know because you have so much data up your sleeve.?But it is not only in the USA ooo; we are making waves all over the world.?I am not sure but I think that someone or something is holding us back at home.?Back to sender.?Did you hear of that dropout boy in Maiduguri who is now making electric buses??The silly boy went to UniMaid to read mechanical engineering or something like that but he could not complete it.?I am not sure what happened to him but it could be many factors.?You know I also went to UniMaid.?We had too much fun there.?Ask Bro Orji Kalu or Michael Aondoakaa (which kine name be dis sef), they were all there with me at UniMaid but they are now big men so will not remember me.?Maybe now, it is Boko Haram who stopped him.?He could have joined them and be making bombs for them but he decided to make electric buses.?The boy is very stubborn.?Nobody should pay attention to him.?In fact, he should be stopped from making electric buses.?How can we continue to enjoy the fuel subsidy if we will not use petrol in our cars??Bro Peter, did you say the subsidy thing is a scam??Who told you?

I see all the calculations you make about agriculture.?Did you say you would revive cotton, cocoa, oil palm, rubber, sesame, groundnuts and everything that Nigeria was leading the world in??As an agricultural scientist, I would say that Nigeria has the potential to generate $200b from agriculture, annually.?But we are already generating $19b from petroleum and the diaspora people are sending in $25b.?Put this together, Bro Peter, this is a healthy $44b or $220 per person for our huge population of 200m.?Giant of Africa!?Peter, $220 is equivalent to N140 800.?Don’t you think this is more than enough for the ordinary akara seller on the street??We can always boast that the richest African is from Nigeria.?Along with Uncle Dangote, we have at least 4 other Nigerians among Africa’s richest 10.?Peter, we have to be grateful to God.?Sweeping Dangote’s house is enough blessing for anyone.?Please, don’t try to lift anyone out of poverty.?Where will you import the servants from??Haba, Bro Peter, be reasonable.

Even in animal production, I know that Nigeria can produce all its cattle, sheep and goats in northern Nigeria and be able to export meat and milk within 5 years.?The driest part of northern Nigeria is still wetter than many countries that are producing livestock.?I tried many times to tell our Uncle, Audu Ogbe, how to do this when he was Minister for Agriculture but his dogs never allowed me into his yard at Abuja.?Uncle Audu was very sure that we could import grass from Brazil and feed it to our local cows, and their milk production would rise from one litre to 30 litres per day.?I think the government did not approve his plan because he also advised them to import expensive wine from France for the cows to drink.?Did you know that Uncle Audu studied French but runs a very successful farm near Otukpo??Bro Peter, instead of visiting Egypt, you should have gone to see Uncle Audu’s farm and see how fat his cattle are, and they are pouring excess milk away there.?If they give this excess milk to the children, they will grow up to become milk thieves.?Didn’t they tell you that when you were growing up at Onitsha?

Peter, nwa-nnem, I wish you all the best in the race ahead.?I will not be able to campaign for you because I am not on the ground.?And do not count on me to financially support your campaign.?I have already told you that I am stingy, probably stingier than you.?When you win, I will continue to give you advice on agriculture, for free.?I am not looking for any appointment from you oooo.?I have sent you a Facebook friendship request.?If you like, reject it, we will still remain brothers, which is more than Facebook friends.?I am sure that all the “Obi-dient” people will see your through and the INEC server will not disappear.?However, keep an eye on “inconclusive election” spots.?I am sure they are already marking out those areas.?

I will keep my ear to the ground, to hear how much your opponents will give to each voter. ?Was it $10k or $40k they gave to each delegate??Maybe they will reduce it to $5k per voter.?Becoming the President of the largest African country is a big investment.?I don’t know whether to advise the voters to collect the money but “waste” their votes on your structureless political platform.?Ka chi foo.

Prof Paul A. Iji is the Dean, College of Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry, Fiji National University ; Author of Writing and publishing your research (hard and Kindle editions) and A guide for young Africans growing up overseas . CreateSpace/Amazon. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not reflect the views of his employers.?Please feel free to share.