An open letter to Lord Ram from a believer in 2020.

Dear Lord Ram,

I hope you are doing well. :)

First things first, I am sorry. I am sorry, not because you are not in the top 3 of my favorite male gods. For me, the elephant god and the monkey god always seemed more fascinating ever since I was a kid. And I think in terms of the overall aura, Shiva beats anyone hands down. That said, I have always prayed to you. I still do, and always will. I remember visiting you quite often as a kid. Do you? One of your places was close to where I lived earlier. We’d sometime sit and just think about how my day went at school and then I’d go home. It was fun, Ram, (first name, ok?) 

I am sorry because what I am about to say might offend some of your die-hard fans. In fact, I feel you are a cool dude and won’t have any hard feelings. For we all know, you have such a big and kind heart. You are symbolic in many ways and beyond the reach of any human when it comes to righteousness.

Now that the context is set, here’s the thing. While I knew most popular parts about you superficially through stories, the recent re-run of the ‘Ramayan’ on DD National (thanks to Modi Ji's lockdown) was a good refresher to look at many things in a new light. Though I did not see each and every episode, I was lucky to view most of those and feel the essence of the story.

I loved some of the sequences, and boy, the last 2 episodes that concluded this week blew me away! But what felt wrong was it was all about you throughout. Of course, you are the hero, and it has to be centered around you. But in reality, Ramayan was not just all about you. 

You were the ideal student - the best any teacher could ask for. You were the ideal brother - cared so much for them. You were the ideal son - did whatever your father asked you to, gave up the kingdom, went to 14 years of exile. You were the ideal friend - Hanuman’s raison d’etre. And Oh, you were the ideal king - did everything keeping your people first. Lastly, if we ignore some aspects, for now, you were a good husband too - you never looked at any woman outside your marriage. But I think that part of your role stops there. We’ll come to that later. The story, however, was not just about you.

Your beloved Laxman gave up everything to accompany you throughout. Sita, daughter of another king marries you, and she too, along with Laxman, goes through the exile with you. You know, equal struggles as you did. Not less. Only until she was kidnapped. After that, her struggles were even more than yours!

Some of the toughest battles were fought not by you, but by Laxman and Sugreev. Hanuman single-handedly wreaked havoc when he set out on any mission. I am not writing everybody’s contribution here, but hope you get the point. The messages of bravery, sacrifices, commitment to cause, come from stories of others too. So if the idea of Ramayan was to give life lessons, it was not only about you. 

But I am writing this today not because of that, but because I closely observed your role as a king in ‘Uttar Ramayan’. My problem is with that. And the injustice that bestows on Sita therefore. Under the garb of ‘Raj Dharam’, first, you make Sita go through the Agni Pariksha where she has to prove her purity in front of the whole people. You, of course, did not do this because you didn’t believe in her, Ram, but you did it to lay to rest the doubt in minds of people of your kingdom. So while your part of the story is almost done and you are revered once you kill Ravan and bring Sita back, Sita is in a deep mess.

If that was not sufficient, years later when Luv and Kush are grown up and meet their father in you, Ram, you again need proof of Sita’s purity - again, so that there is no doubt in the minds of the people of the kingdom. Valmiki testifies. But you are worried about what the people would think. Needless to talk about what followed and why - Sita is fed up and asks Mother Earth to absorb her if she is pure. I am sorry, it ended that way. 

You might know, eras have gone by since your story was first told, Ram. There have been innumerable interpretations of your stories as well. But you know, things have not changed as much for women. Even today, we live in an almost patriarchal society. We have to run campaigns to get people to put their girl child in a school. In some cases, there are reservations for women (that’s usually needed for upliftment no?). We are in 2020 AD. Companies think doing a campaign on sanitary napkin hygiene is part of their corporate social responsibility. Just imagine how would we feel if shaving a beard for men or letting them keep would be part of some awareness program? Even today, after years of efforts, the representation of women in the workforce is nowhere close to the proportion of their population. Nor is the contribution of men in household work. Yes, it should be a matter of choice, but there are many who look down upon at some of the choices made either way.

The truth is, Ram, had you taken a stand when it was needed, when it mattered, against the people of your kingdom, the women today would have had stronger voices. If only you had, pardon the sentiment, the audacity to stand for your woman, many other men today would have gathered courage. Your story is supposed to be a lesson for us all, and what our great grandfathers have learned about treating women, doesn’t seem right. You were bound by your Raj Dharam, but you knew you had generations to follow who'd look at you for what you did. You couldn’t make a choice that would stand by the 'principles test' regardless of who reads the story and when. 

Ram, it’s hard being you. You made sacrifices for everyone else. You never kept anything to yourself. An ideal man. Your life was tough. But that’s why you are god. And that’s the lesson maybe?

Perhaps, it is we who have seen it all wrongly. Totally misunderstood it. Interpreted some of ‘that what should not be done’ as ‘that what should be done’. 

I am no expert on mythology. I believe only in what is told, but I question. I am no feminist either. Being one means there is a need. But if you have any complaints about why I raise this now, let's just blame it on the lockdown. I have always felt it this way but never knew how to put it out. Maybe you’ll forgive me for committing a sin - of questioning God, according to some. But it was during one of those visits at your temple, that I got the courage and confidence to raise a question.

This question, Ram, is not for you. You did what you had to. This question is through you. To the rest of us. 

Thanks.

Yours sincerely,

One of the people of your kingdom from 2020.