An Open Letter to College Students, Recent Graduates and Anyone Seeking Direction

Dear student and recent grad,

I've always had a passion for pouring into the next generation of world-changers. I don't like to refer to you as "future" movers and shakers because quite honestly, you are the fuel and force of our present-day. And, much like the aforementioned word, you are truly a gift to society and those that you reach. You have a passion and drive like no other generation, and you refuse to accept the status quo. You are trailblazers with a burning fire inside of you that can't be contained. You inspire me, and so many others, more than you'll ever know.

That said, I've been a student before and I know the frustrations you face. Being a student or recent grad can quite frankly be the most confusing time of your life. It was for me. You're going through a really scary time and I don't think people acknowledge what you're going through enough because they fear they'll "coddle" you instead of allowing you to "learn the hard way," because that's what they had to do. I'm sorry about that.

Navigating into new territory can be intimidating and frightening; we’ve all been there. While I do think there's value in navigating uncharted territory on your own so you can see how strong you actually are, I want to share four life principles with you that I've learned in the last 10 years; principles that I wish I would have known when I was in your shoes.

Hopefully, something I share will resonate with you and make you feel less alone in your journey, or maybe even encourage you to keep on pressing when you feel like throwing in the towel. Because man oh man, do I know the feelings of confusion and frustration that overwhelm you. I know the fear that you face, the comparison you battle with, and the continuous thoughts swirling in your head that scream, "What the heck am I even doing with my life!?"

I know that you're trying to either get through school, find your first job, (or second or third because you were laid off due to furloughs). I know that some of you are nervous about taking jobs outside of the degree that you studied. I mean, how frustrating is it to go to school for so long to study a certain field just to end up working in one that you have no passion for?! I get it. I've been there. I graduated during the recession.

So let me start by saying this: You're not alone, and I'm excited to walk with you through this.

Now that you know I am with you and FOR you, let's get started.

Due to the nature of having three prominent letters "NFL" tied to my name through my career, I have hundreds of LinkedIn messages from students. Inevitably, most of the inquiries are similar and many start with this: “How did you get to where you are today?” I always smile because that's honestly such a loaded question. While I know students aren't asking for my life story, it's hard to not want to include it.

Because the truth of the matter is, people always see the platform and don't see the process. They don't see the twists and turns, smiles and tears, failures and success. They just see a title and think, "man, I want to be there one day." I get it, and I'm thankful that so many young people look up to me. But when it comes down to it, it was the entire process; the hardships, confusion, frustration, wins, losses, twists and turns that got me to where I am... that led to my purpose. And I know it will be the same for you.

Your process; your entire story, the good and the ugly even going back as far as your childhood, will lead you to walking in your purpose - that place you're supposed to be and in the exact timing that you're supposed to be there. Which leads me to my first point.

NEVER FORGET: YOU WERE CREATED WITH PURPOSE

That’s a crazy thought, right? You were strategically and intricately created to accomplish a unique purpose in this world. You look the way you do, have the qualities that you do, enjoy the passions you do, and have the gifts you do because you were meant to have them to accomplish your purpose on this earth. Remind yourself of this truth, every day.

There are going to be days when you feel confused about your path or direction. There are going to be days when you’re not going to feel like you have a purpose — but you do, and it’s important that you never allow the world to convince you otherwise. Regardless of the circumstances that happen in your life, your fulfillment will come from doing what fuels your soul, and sometimes that won't be in a full-time position, but a hobby or something that you create or pick up on the side. If you don't feel very "purposeful" or passionate about anything right now, it's okay. I can't say I really had my heart fully set on any particular industry, project or passion when I was in college. It takes time to find something that truly ignites your soul and fills up your tank. Be patient. As you continue to walk through life open to each and every experience, you'll find what fuels you, and it will be beautiful. Which leads me to my second point.

DO NOT STRESS ABOUT YOUR PURPOSE OR FINDING YOUR PASSION

This piece of advice sounds like a catch-22, doesn’t it? I told that you are created with a purpose, and now I tell you to not worry about your purpose. Let me explain. The moment I found out I was created with a purpose, I felt overwhelming pressure to get it right because I felt like I was going to miss it or make the wrong turn. In hindsight, I wish I would have known that the purpose for my life, regardless of the position or title that I hold is to love people and serve the people in front of me. That simple.

It doesn't matter if you're working a 9-5 in a cube in a field you've never studied, working as a cashier at the grocery store or on a field at a Super Bowl (I have been blessed to do all three), you are truly living a life of purpose, on purpose, by being faithful where you are and serving and loving those that cross your path everyday. I know it kind of sounds like rainbows and unicorn talk, but let's be real, at the end of the day, what do you want your legacy to be? Do you want people to remember you for being self-centered and self-glorifying? Do you want them to just remember you for the awards you won (let me help you, they won't), or the titles you've held (they won't care). Or, do you want to live a life where people remember you for making a difference in someone's life and leaving the world a little better than you found it because of the selfless contributions you made? I don't know about you, but that's the type of legacy I want to leave; a legacy of planting seeds and depositing into others instead of always needing to eat the fruit. And I hope you do, too.

Focus on fulfilling your purpose of serving those in front of you right now, wherever you are (even if you don't love it), and that is what will get you to where you want to go. In every season, regardless of the position you are in, you will have the chance to learn skills that you'll use later in life. There are so many skills I learned at places I didn't necessarily want to be in that I still use today. But you have to be present and not always thinking of the "next thing" in order to learn what you're supposed to learn where you are now. Don't miss it because you're thinking way down the road or where you "think you should be by now." Think of it this way: A running back has to start somewhere on the field and gain yardage before he can make into the end zone — and so do you. Be where your feet are.

EMBRACE THE PROCESS

There is something empowering and invigorating when you diligently try to work hard to get all the right internships, careers and experiences to get to where you want to go. However, many people write their plans in Sharpie or pen, and aren't flexible to their "plan" changing. Let me let you in on something. Your 10-year, 5-year and 1-month plan will change. Always. Life doesn't always go as planned - and that's OK! Actually, it's better than OK because change is the FUN part of the adventure. The journey and the respective process is what you must learn to embrace because I promise you, what's for you is FOR you and not forced. Never despise small beginnings because it's in the process that you will grow and learn what you need to to know for where you're going.

Like I mentioned earlier, I graduated from college during the recession. I went on a whirlwind to get to where I am today. My path is extremely unconventional. From working odd jobs after graduation to make ends meet, to working in broadcasting to working in ministry, then being a high school teacher and coach, to running a foundation and now working at the National Football League, I was not always sure if I was achieving my “purpose” because my roles always looked so different. Hindsight is 2020, ha.

Life is a constant process, and it remains continual until the day you leave this earth — which should lead you to live intentionally and purposely, every day. Your purpose in every season will be the byproduct of living intentionally in the process. You'll also find that your journey and process is never coincidental or ironic. Every part of your journey serves a purpose.

To prove my point, the picture at the top of this letter was taken earlier this year at Pro Bowl 2020. I had the opportunity to use my passion and experience as a high school teacher to teach a lesson to 12 Pro Bowl players and high school student athletes. If I wasn't a Teacher, I wouldn't have been afforded the opportunity to do that. And oh yeah, that event "just so happened" to be at a Boys & Girls club, which is "ironically" the organization I worked for in college to gain experience with youth. Just a coincidence? Nope. Purposeful. Planned. Always God's plan. Always a part of the process, and you so is the plan that's been set for you life. Your in the midst of your purposeful process right now right now, even if you don't see it. Eventually, you'll see how all the details come together and you will be in awe.

Don't neglect it or run from the process. All good things take time, and all good things come from embracing it along the way.

NETWORKING: LET'S ALL CRINGE TOGETHER

Networking drives me crazy because it seems surface-level and, well, fake. There is so much pressure these days for people to make connections. While I am not opposed to expanding connections, I oppose this process if you are not actually connecting.

Instead of focusing on building your network and exhausting yourself by printing one million business cards and running around an entire event to make sure everyone has your card before the event is over, pray before you go into an event. If you don't want to do that, it's okay, I'm sure you have your version of something that helps you focus and clear your mind. Praying is that thing for me. To this day, when I'm on my way to an event, I pray that God will open my eyes to those I should truly connect with and build working relationships with that would serve a greater purpose. When you do this, your circle of relationships will build naturally, and it will not be superficial. Never focus on networking for personal gain. Instead, build relationships for collaboration and wisdom to accomplish your purpose. If I know one thing, it’s that God is strategic and people who you are supposed to meet will always end up crossing your path.

Before working for the NFL, I managed the Rashad Jennings Foundation for four years. I did not meet Rashad because I was trying to network or run a player’s foundation; I met Rashad through a concierge employee at an apartment complex over 10 years ago. Rashad and I, separately, shared our faith and current events to the concierge, who connected the dots and simply said, “Christina, do you know Rashad? You both come into the building talking about the same events and your faith, every day. You should meet!” Years later, after I was a high school teacher, the dots connected and I ended up using my passion as a former High School Intensive Reading teacher to powerteam with him to change many lives through his foundation that focuses on literacy. Moral of the story? Don’t stress. We live in a world that screams that you must have a hustle mentality to succeed. The world is constantly telling us to strive, strive, strive and grind, grind, grind. Let me rest your mind with this: if you're intentional with building relationships, your path will cross with absolutely every person you need to meet so you can fulfill a greater purpose.

YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY YOUR JOB OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS 

You will accomplish some great things in your life, and those feats will be amazing. However, I need you to understand me, and truly let these words settle in your heart: Your career is what you will do, but it’s not who you are.

There will be times that you will be tempted to have your identity wrapped up in what you’ve accomplished or titles that you will be given. Do not fall into the trap. You are valuable and worthy with or without a title, and with or without an accomplishment tied to your name. Stay humble because pride comes before the fall. I fully believe that my platform has continually been elevated over the years because of a pure heart to love and serve the people in front of me. It's more than just having a solid skill set. This world doesn't just need another skilled professional or talented person in a position; it needs someone that's passionate about using their platform for good.

So, there you have it — my real and unfiltered tips for those seeking purpose and direction. I am confident that you have an incredible journey that you will share with the world one day, and I can't wait to read it.

No more stressing. No more sleepless nights of tossing and turning wondering if you're on the right track. You are doing way better than you think. Stay true to yourself and stay faithful where you are in every season. Doing that won't get you to where you want to go in the exact ways that you want to get there, but I guarantee you it will get you to where you're supposed to go, on the roads that you were always meant to travel. You've got this. You're living your legacy every day, so live it well. I'm rooting for you, praying for you and always here for you.

Your big sis,

Christina

Christina Hovestadt is a Community Relations Manager for the National Football League in New York City. As a former collegiate athlete, high school educator and coach, Christina has a passion for pouring into youth and using sport as a means for social change. She is passionate about social justice, philanthropy and advocating for the voiceless. Christina is Founder of "A Seat At The Table," a sisterhood and mentorship group for current and future women in sports, and hosts "The Set Apart Women" a faith-based podcast for women on all streaming platforms. Whether speaking in boardrooms, classrooms, fields or locker rooms, Christina’s message is consistent: Live intentionally, and activate your life with purpose.

You can follow Christina on Instagram: @CoachChristina and Twitter @Christinasbuzz