Oops, I Screwed Up: Swiping Right on Your Relationship. How Do You Re-Engage In Real Life After Getting Caught Up Online?

Today, I am delving into a topic that's often mentioned, but underdiscussed in modern relationships, and erroneously dismissed as being "no big deal - the tricky terrain of "microcheating". You may regard this as a relatively small transgression perhaps, but one that in my experience has frequently escalated into a relationship killer...

What's Microcheating?

In this world of tech-connectivity, keeping our relationships healthy is a bit of a juggling act. Microcheating is like those little acts that test the limits of intimacy and can slowly chip away at your primary relationship. What exactly constitutes microcheating can vary between couples, so clear communication is important. For some, flirty comments from others might cross a line, while sharing locations with friends wouldn't. Figuring out each partner's comfort levels prevents hurt feelings down the road.

Technology isn't the root cause - it's how we individually choose to use it. Many find online connections enriching when authentically part of a healthy relationship. But being covert or choosing online validation over real-world intimacy with a partner are warning signs.

Microcheating behaviors are often gradual and rationalized as "no big deal." But minor transgressions normalized over time can undermine loyalty just as certainly as one major incident. Regular check-ins help establish whether currently acceptable behaviors still feel right for the relationship as circumstances change.

Well, not really...

Everyday Examples: Here are some potential warning signs that someone may be choosing online validation over real-world intimacy in their relationship:

1. Too much social media love – flirty comments, oversharing personal deets.
2. Creating emotional bonds outside work through private chats.
3. Texting, gaming, or messaging "friends" of the opposite sex all day.
4. Sneaking around with online adult content without your partner knowing.

Sounds harmless, but over time, these things can spell trouble.

Red Flags to Watch: How do you know someone might be in the microcheating zone? Warning signs are

1. Defensiveness when relationship overall is brought up versus specific grievances. Dismissing concerns as "not a big deal" rather than engaging thoughtfully.
2. Socially withdrawn in person yet gregarious/vulnerable online with others. Finding it harder to be fully present or open up one-on-one.
3. Increased irritability/impatience with partner's needs/moods versus superficial positivity projected elsewhere online.
4. Double standards like policing partner's usage but not acknowledging own behavior changes.

How Do You Avoid The Slippery Slope Of Microcheating?

Here are some quick tips:

1. Lay down some clear boundaries through open chats.
2. Agree on limits for late-night convos, social media, and solo hangs.
3. Keep it transparent – no hiding, no secrets.
4. Set aside gadget-free date nights to reconnect.
5. Dive into shared hobbies, interests, and growth activities.
6. Show love daily – a sweet gesture or a heartfelt chat goes a long way.

Rebuilding Trust: What's the Game Plan?

Now, if things have already gone a bit sideways, here's the game plan to rebuild trust:

1. Be an open book: Share those devices, passwords, and accounts.
2. Say sorry and mean it: Understand how your actions affected your partner.
3. Promise to change: Agree on new limits and boundaries.
4. Get emotional: Talk about what your relationship really needs.
5. Stay honest: Keep checking in about concerns or temptations.
6. Rebuild slowly: Trust is a work in progress.
7. Get help: Sometimes, a pro can help in tough times .
8. Make up for it: Little things count – surprise date nights or sweet moments.

So, here's a challenge for you! Ever faced a microcheating moment or noticed the signs? Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below. DM me if you'd like confidential help

In closing, repairing broken trust requires sustained effort, open communication, and willingness to understand each other's perspectives without defensiveness. While the hurting partner needs to process emotions at their own pace, the "offending" individual can accelerate healing through authentic accountability, changed behaviors demonstrated over time, and efforts to meet emotional needs through quality intimacy instead of outside validation seeking.

Rebuilding isn't a straight line upwards - there may be setbacks. But with compassion and commitment on both sides, trusting the bond of a relationship is certainly possible even after cracks form.

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Wishing you all rock-solid relationships!