Ontological Coaching a Coaching Tool?

Ontological coaching is a type of coaching that focuses on the client's way of being, including their beliefs, emotions, and language.

It is based on the idea that the way individuals perceive and interact with the world is shaped by their underlying ontological structures, which includes their personal history, culture, and environment.

Steps to follow in order to conduct an ontological coaching session:

Build a rapport with the client: Before diving into the coaching session, it is important to establish a good relationship with the client. This includes creating a safe and supportive environment where the client feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions.

Explore the client's way of being: In ontological coaching, the coach seeks to understand the client's way of being, which includes their beliefs, emotions, and language. Through active listening and questioning, the coach can help the client gain new insights into their current way of being and identify areas for improvement.

Identify the client's goals: Once the coach has a better understanding of the client's way of being, they can help the client identify their goals and aspirations. This involves exploring what the client wants to achieve and why it is important to them.

Develop a plan: The coach and client work together to develop a plan for achieving the client's goals. This includes identifying the actions and behaviors that the client needs to change in order to reach their desired outcomes.

Provide ongoing support: Ontological coaching is a process that takes time and ongoing support. The coach should provide regular check-ins with the client and help them stay motivated and accountable.

Several key ingredients that are essential for a successful coaching experience. These include:

Listening skills: A coach needs to be an active and engaged listener, able to pay close attention to the client's words and body language.

Questioning skills: A coach needs to be able to ask powerful and insightful questions that help the client gain new insights into their situation.

Empathy: A coach needs to be able to understand and connect with the client's emotions and experiences, creating a safe and supportive space for them to explore their way of being.

Self-awareness: Ontological coaching is based on the idea that the client's way of being is shaped by their underlying ontological structures. Therefore, self-awareness is essential for the client to understand their beliefs, emotions, and language, and how they impact their interactions with the world.

Language: Language is a powerful tool in ontological coaching. The coach and client work together to explore the client's language patterns and how they shape their perceptions of themselves and the world. The coach also helps the client develop new language patterns that support their goals and aspirations.

Emotions: Emotions play a significant role in shaping the client's way of being. The coach helps the client explore their emotions and develop strategies for managing them in a healthy and productive way.

Context: Ontological coaching recognizes that the client's way of being is shaped by their personal history, culture, and environment. Therefore, understanding the context in which the client operates is essential for developing a comprehensive coaching plan.

Coaching models and frameworks: While there is no specific tool or framework required for ontological coaching, coaches may draw on various models and frameworks to help guide the coaching process and provide structure for the client's exploration.

Action: Ontological coaching is focused on helping the client achieve their goals and aspirations. Therefore, taking action is a critical component of the coaching process. The coach helps the client develop an action plan and provides ongoing support to help them stay motivated and accountable.

When ontological coaching can help?

• A client comes to a coach feeling stuck in their career and unsure of their next steps. The coach helps the client explore their underlying beliefs and assumptions about work and career success. Through this exploration, the client gains new insights into their priorities and values, which leads them to pursue a new career path aligned with their personal goals.
• A leader wants to improve their communication skills with their team. The coach helps the leader explore their language patterns and how they may be impacting their communication style. Through this exploration, the leader develops new communication strategies that lead to more effective communication and better team performance.
• A client is struggling with managing their stress and anxiety. The coach helps the client explore their emotions and how they are impacting their well-being. The coach also teaches the client mindfulness techniques that help them manage their stress and anxiety in a healthy and productive way.
• A team is experiencing conflict and lack of collaboration. The coach helps the team explore their underlying beliefs and assumptions about teamwork and communication. Through this exploration, the team gains new insights into their communication styles and develops strategies for building trust and collaboration.

Coaching conversation

Coach: So, tell me a little bit about what's been on your mind lately.

Coachee: I've been feeling really stressed out at work. I feel like I'm not making any progress and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Coach: Can you tell me more about what's causing the stress?

Coachee: I just feel like I'm stuck in my career. I've been doing the same thing for years, and I don't see any opportunities for advancement. It's really frustrating.

Coach: I understand. Can we explore that a little bit more? What are your beliefs about career advancement and success?

Coachee: I guess I feel like I need to be constantly moving up the ladder to feel successful. But the reality is, there's not always room for advancement in every job.

Coach: That's an interesting observation. Can we explore that a little bit more? What are some other ways you could measure success besides upward mobility?

Coachee: Hmm, I guess I could focus more on the work itself and how I'm making a positive impact in my role.

Coach: That's a great point. Can we dig a little deeper into that? What does making a positive impact mean to you?

Coachee: Well, I feel like I'm really good at what I do, and I take pride in doing it well. I just wish there was more recognition for it.

Coach: I see. Can we explore your language around recognition and appreciation? What would it mean to you to feel appreciated for your work?

Coachee: I think it would be really nice to know that my work is valued and that I'm making a difference.

Coach: That's a great goal. What are some steps you can take to feel more valued and appreciated at work?

Coachee: Maybe I could talk to my manager about my accomplishments and ask for more feedback on my work. I could also try to be more vocal about my contributions in team meetings.

Coach: Those are great strategies. How do you feel about putting those into action?

Coachee: I feel more optimistic now that I have a plan in place. Thank you for helping me gain a new perspective on this.

In this story, the coach used ontological coaching techniques such as exploring the Coachee's underlying beliefs and language patterns to help the Coachee gain new insights into their situation and develop a plan for moving forward.

By focusing on the client's way of being and helping them shift their perspective, the coach was able to empower the client to take action and make positive changes in their career.

A story to share .....

Jill was a successful business executive who had recently been promoted to a new role that she found challenging and overwhelming. She felt like she was constantly working long hours and struggling to balance her work and personal life. She sought out the services of an ontological coach to help her gain a new perspective on her situation and develop new strategies for managing her workload and stress.

During their first session, Jill and her coach explored her beliefs about work and success. Jill revealed that she had always been driven by the need to achieve and was constantly pushing herself to do more and be more. Her coach helped her to see that this way of being was contributing to her stress and burnout.

Over the course of several coaching sessions, Jill's coach helped her to develop a new way of thinking about work and success. They focused on developing new habits and strategies for managing her workload and taking care of herself. Jill learned to prioritize her tasks and set boundaries around her time and energy, allowing her to be more productive and efficient.

The coach also helped Jill to explore her emotions and beliefs about work-life balance, helping her to develop a new way of thinking about the relationship between work and personal life. Jill learned to see herself as a whole person, with needs and desires outside of work, and to prioritize those needs as much as she did her work.

As a result of her work with the ontological coach, Jill was able to develop a new way of being that allowed her to be more effective and fulfilled in her work and personal life. She was able to manage her workload more effectively, set better boundaries around her time, and find more balance and fulfillment in her life overall.

Ontological coaching is a powerful approach to personal growth and development, but there are certain things that coaches should avoid to ensure that the coaching relationship is effective and supportive. Here are some things that coaches should avoid in ontological coaching:

Giving advice: Ontological coaching is not about telling clients what to do or giving them advice. Instead, coaches should help clients explore their own way of being and develop their own insights and strategies.

Being judgmental: Coaches should avoid being judgmental or critical of clients, even if they disagree with their beliefs or behaviors. Instead, coaches should create a safe and supportive space for clients to explore their own way of being without fear of judgment.

Imposing their own beliefs: Coaches should avoid imposing their own beliefs or values on clients. Instead, coaches should help clients explore their own beliefs and values and make their own choices.

Focusing only on the surface level: Ontological coaching is about exploring the deeper aspects of a client's way of being. Coaches should avoid focusing only on the surface level or external behaviors and instead help clients explore their underlying beliefs, emotions, and ways of thinking.

Rushing the process: Ontological coaching is a process that takes time, and coaches should avoid rushing clients or trying to force insights or changes. Instead, coaches should be patient and supportive as clients explore their own way of being.

Ontological coaching is about creating a supportive and empowering coaching relationship that helps clients explore their own way of being and develop new insights and strategies for achieving their goals.