There are only two kinds of Networking—giving and taking. The latter just doesn't work!

There is a saying that keeps coming up when people discuss networking or socializing for opportunities or professional progress i.e. “Your network is your net worth.” – Porter Gale

It sounds like a loaded gem of wisdom but it's incomplete in its direction.

If these statements nudge you to step out of your comfort zone and attend seminars/events/launches to network with people, odds are high that the time spent will not generate much ROI. Let me elaborate -

• If you are networking to introduce yourself to more people, you will be anxious enough to make the most of that 1-2 hrs, depriving you of any meaningful conversation with anyone.
• If you are networking to introduce the goods & services that you're promoting, you will be only thinking about making an impression on others so that they stay connected with you or open doors for further order bookings or transactions.
• If you are networking to find someone you can relate to or who understands you, then you are walking around with a bias that may exclude engaging with most people because the odds are high that 99% of people over there would be thinking differently compared to you.
• If you are networking just to tick a box that you stepped out of your comfort zone or maybe your company paid for the access pass which allows free food & drinks, then you are wasting your time since you have no meaningful purpose being there.

All these are examples of going to social events with a sucker mentality i.e. "What's in it for me?" or "How can I benefit from this?" or "Who can I impress today with my background?"

These are agendas running in the background, and sometimes you may even be aware of it, but your personal bias steers you towards taking, towards self-interest, towards maximizing - and it's that tendency that makes the experience of many networking events come across as a drag on people.

What if you went with a giving mentality i.e. nothing in it for you !!! NOTHING. No self-interest, no maximizing opportunity, seeking no admiration of any kind.

But you will take the opportunity to learn something new, meet someone new, understand their backgrounds, explore a different industry and its workings, dive into a new world of which you have no idea, engage with someone, and learn about what drives and motivates them, etc.

Just imagine your curiosity taking the steering wheel and guiding you toward new terrains where everything is new and unexplored for your senses, and you are immersing yourself in it like a kid does in a candy store.

The benefits could be multifold -

• you have a meaningful conversation with one person, building a bond that could potentially turn into a lifelong friendship.
• you might learn extensively about someone else's industry or product line, compounding your knowledge base and adding to your toolkit. Never know what comes in handy in times to come.
• you might end up paying attention to someone and making a difference to them, spreading joy, and maybe nudging them in the direction of their pursuits with more hope and belief.

None of these causes any stress or anxiety, as you are not seeking anything for yourself. So no one has to fit in to your expectations. You are there just to give and there is no perfect way to give. It's the intent that counts and it's that intent that shows up in the free-flowing conversation too with people in these networking events.

Networking is an art. And when you get good at it, people enjoy your presence and your undivided attention, making them share with you stuff that could just be game-changing in ways you didn't imagine.

That's when your ROI is tenfold - when you were not even expecting anything from the exercise.

I will let Chris London sum it up - “Networking with integrity creates a greater willingness of all parties to be part of a human conduit to serve as energy and resource to one another. Sometimes you will give more than you receive, and sometimes you will get back more than you give. It’s not about keeping score.”