The only person you can change - is yourself

It's taken me 58 years to have this personal epiphany, brought on by walking, journalling, reading and reflection that:

The only person you can change - is yourself

In some ways, it seems counter-intuitive perhaps for someone like me, with a long career in teaching (moulding minds, maintaining high standards of behaviour and motivating young people) to come to this realisation.

It perhaps explains too why I've rebelled against colleagues, acquaintances and family trying to change me.

I felt I didn't need to change. But I did and I do. We all need to.

When I was drinking like a fish every day from 2012 to 2016, I was advised by many to cut down my daily alcohol consumption where weekly alcohol unit limits became a daily target. Their words fell on deaf ears. Until. Until I decided myself that I needed help - went to the doctor's, AA and went cold turkey on drink from 19th December 2016.

I had to do it. I had to decide to stop drinking and seek help.

The past 5 months have been similarly revelatory, as uplifting as becoming teetotal, where I've become a reader again, looked deeply at myself, the man I am and opted for change.

Not change for artifice sake.

But change habits.

I used to lie in bed, doom scrolling on my iPhone, before dragging myself out of bed at 8.00 am each day. Now the alarm goes off at 7am and I'm often up at 6am, with the phone not switched on for 2 hours, until the working day begins at 9am.

No one told me to do that, no one tried to change my ingrained lazy arse habits. I changed me.

That 2 or 3 hours from 6 or 7am are spent on preparing coffee, a blended smoothie, porridge, the dog's breakfast, walking, writing and reading.

No one told me to do those things - but I realise now how important rituals, habits and routines are to develop a life you're happy to lead.

I've been out this week too, twice, to Pakistani restaurants and observed the rituals of Ramadan and breaking fasts, twice being the only non-Muslim in the restaurants. Wonderful too, the food, company and rituals.

I've deliberately rebooted my mind, my body, my habits - because I'd developed unhealthy ones. I needed a complete reset of my hardware (body) and software (mind).

I've changed. I'm not the person I was 3 months ago, 6 months ago, a year ago.

But I've made that decision and taken steps to change - if you're unhappy with who you are, who you've become, how you live - don't look at others. Look inward.

Become a reader, a writer, a walker, a thinker and create 10 daily habits, atomic habits, that will bring you mental and physical fulfilment.