There Is Only One Gender… and It’s Women!

We hear a lot these days about ‘safe spaces’ for women, usually relating to public toilets and changing rooms being invaded by men who may or may not be considering a change of sex.? Clearly these are places not only where a degree of privacy is required, but facilities differ owing to biological and anatomical differences.? Fairly obvious, you might think, yet some warped thinking rails against it.

Perhaps less obvious is the idea of work-related, single sex forums.?? Envisage, if you will, a sign outside a conference room reading ‘No men allowed’, and already the hairs on the back of some necks would be standing up. It would strike a nerve, and I know it. But we need to talk about what people want and what they need.

Why Women-Only Retreats Are Not Discriminatory

A little over a year ago, I ran a retreat on the outskirts of the Okavango Delta. By coincidence, all the attendees happened to be women. At the end of the experience, many of them shared that they believed the retreat would not have been as successful had men been present. They emphasized that a male presence might have affected the feeling of authenticity and safety they had experienced.

As someone who is obviously not a woman, I don’t always relate to this perspective firsthand, but it was clear to me that this need for a women-only space was real and valuable. Now, as I prepare for the upcoming Executive Elevation Leadership Retreat for Women in Senior Leadership Positions, I’ve encountered some pushback. Some men, (okay, only two made remarks —but they were quite snippy about it), have questioned whether a women-only retreat is discriminatory.

The Inclusion vs. Exclusivity Debate

Just this week, Donald Trump declared that there are only two genders. While his statement was meant in a completely different context, it got me thinking about the heated debates surrounding gender, inclusion, and spaces created exclusively for women. It’s fascinating how certain conversations evoke strong reactions, and this retreat is no exception.

"We live in an era where diversity and inclusion are rightly at the forefront of discussions in both business and social spaces. However, the need for spaces exclusively for women is not a new phenomenon. Nor is questioning what may appear to be exclusion. I recall a recruitment advert I ran in the 1990s with the heading, Are You the Six Million Dollar Man?, playing on the very popular contemporary? TV series of the same name. It was for a Finance position, and I thought it was a clever little attention grabber of a title. ?Well, attention it got — but for all the wrong reasons. To my surprise, I received significant backlash from women who felt excluded by the language. ?This was an early lesson in how equal representation matters, and how seemingly neutral spaces often cater more to men by default.

A female friend recently helped me understand another aspect of this need for exclusivity. ?Women often experience being hit on, harassed, or dismissed in professional settings. ?A women-only retreat allows them to exist in a space where they don’t have to manage those dynamics — where they can focus entirely on their own growth without the subtle (or overt) challenges they may face in mixed-gender environments. ?Honestly, I was shocked by that — it’s not that we as men are blind – it is just that we don’t experience these challenges firsthand and that creates blind spots.? But thinking about it, that’s exactly how ‘man-spreading’ and ‘man-splaining’ first arose.

Why Don’t Men’s-Only Spaces Get the Same Response?

Some might argue that if women can have exclusive spaces, men should have the same right – and in theory, they do. ?However, the key difference is historical marginalization. ?Women have faced significant barriers in corporate spaces, leadership roles, and social settings. Men's-only spaces have existed for centuries, often reinforcing those very barriers. That’s why the reaction to male-exclusive events is often different—it lacks the context of providing a safe or corrective space for an underrepresented group.

This debate reminds me of the controversy last year surrounding Slave Play, an award-winning production in London’s West End. The play featured “Blackout” performances — nights where only black audience members were allowed. The purpose was to create a space where black individuals could experience the play free from the “white gaze.” The intention was clear, but it still sparked intense debate. Some people felt excluded, while others saw it as a necessary space for cultural and social expression.

The Role of the Facilitator

Some have also questioned my presence as a male facilitator at a women’s retreat. This is a fair question. But I have been intentional about this, and I’ve asked previous retreat participants if my facilitation affected their experience. Overwhelmingly, they said no. What mattered to them was that they were surrounded by other women who understood their unique leadership challenges. They felt comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities in a way they wouldn’t in a mixed-gender setting.

The Unique Challenges Women Face in Leadership

One important clarification: This retreat isn’t about “women’s issues” in the corporate world. Leadership principles themselves do not change depending on gender. What changes is the environment, and that’s where the power of a women-only retreat lies. It’s about creating the right container for leadership development to happen in a way that has impact.

The same teachings would be equally valuable to a male audience. However, in a women-only setting, participants are often more willing to explore vulnerabilities, share experiences, and reflect on their leadership journey without fear of judgment or misunderstanding. ?This focused environment fosters deeper personal growth and more transformative outcomes.

The corporate ladder remains steeper for women. Factors like maternity leave, social expectations around caregiving, and imposter syndrome make leadership development more complex for them. Many women feel that, to do the deep work of self-reflection and personal growth, they need a space that is designed through a female lens.

This is why women-only leadership retreats are not about exclusion but about creating an environment where women can be fully seen, heard, and supported in ways they may not experience in mixed-gender spaces.

Ultimately, it’s not about keeping anyone out. It’s about ensuring that those who need this space can access it without compromise.

Of course, there is more than one gender, but I am not getting into that debate. For this retreat however it’s only girls allowed - and only girls aloud, if you like!