"Only the lonely..."

If I had a dollar for every time someone has made a made a joke at my expense about 'Nigel no-friends' I would be a very wealthy man. Thanks a lot, Paul Hogan.

In all seriousness, though, loneliness is no joke. It was already a problem - especially in western societies - and COVID-19 lockdowns have only exacerbated things.

In the United Kingdom in 2017 (pre-COVID), a report found that nine million of the country’s 67 million people felt lonely some or all the time, leading to the appointment by the government of a Minister of Loneliness, and the creation of a social media campaign - #LetsTalkLoneliness. In 2021, Japan followed the UK lead, appointing their own cabinet ‘Minister of Loneliness’.

Loneliness is described as the “saddest epidemic” in the Courier-Mail (6 March, 2021), in a feature article which also reports that an Australian Psychological Society study in 2018 found that one in four Australians feel lonely on three or more days every week.

New York Times columnist David Brooks, in ‘The Second Mountain’ (2019) blames this loneliness crisis on “rampant individualism”. Brooks writes – “The emphasis on self – individual success, self-fulfilment, individual freedom, self-actualisation – is a catastrophe”, and he goes on to share a range of alarming statistics in support of his claim –

o  Only eight percent of Americans report having important conversations with their neighbours in a given year;

o  30 percent of households are single-person households;

o  The fastest-growing political group are the ‘undecideds’ and the fastest-growing religious group are the ‘nones’ (and he offers these as ‘symptoms of a general detatchment’);

o  Since 1999, the US suicide rate has risen by 30 percent (between 2006 and 2016, the suicide rate in ten- to seventeen-year-olds rose by 70 percent). Brooks suggests that ‘suicide is largely a proxy for loneliness’.

In a context like this, how might schools respond? I suggest that we can begin by acknowledging the problem: our students, their parents and our staff members are not immune from this epidemic even though, outwardly, they might look busy and socially well-connected.

Also in the Courier-Mail (6 March, 2021), columnist Kylie Lang points out that “schools, like it or not, have evolved from purely academic institutions to playing an important role in turning out well-rounded individuals”. I would go further and suggest that schools have a vital role to play – perhaps filling a void that was filled by churches in previous generations – in becoming intentional about building community for all their constituents.

I am pleased to say that the school where I work – St Paul’s School, Bald Hills – is taking this challenge seriously. Even the role that I fill (Executive Director of Faith and Community) represents a real commitment by St Paul’s to address these growing needs. Two new initiatives being implemented are -

o  St Paul’s Community Garden, for students, parents, staff and local residents – designed to address a number of needs, including the provision of opportunities for fellowship;

o  Wayfarers @ St Paul’s is a fellowship group for members of the wider St Paul’s community, with a focus on exploring and celebrating the spiritual dimension of our humanity.

Contact me if you would like to know about either of these.