Only 10% Do It.

For once, social scientists studying everything from Pavlov to Freud to health to disease to religion to habits to genetics agree: People hate change.  One fact stands out: Research tells us that less than 10% of people will change a life-threatening habit even when there is a confirmed life-threatening diagnosis related to it. Think about it. Even at a time when death is the risk at hand, 90% of people will not change. They would rather die.

Change = Conflict

With every bit of change there is conflict. By definition, the thing about which the change is made is incompatible with its predecessor. So, there is conflict. Within the self. With others. It’s annoying. It’s uncomfortable. It feels dangerous. It’s exhausting. Change throws us into the soup of ambiguity and ambivalence: “I like it/I don’t like it” or “I want it/I don’t want it” or “I want the past/I want the future” or “I want to be that/I don’t want to be that”. It’s confusing! The trouble is, you can’t have no change but receive the benefits of change. No. You cannot have your cake and eat it, too.

The weird thing is that, whether we like it or not, change has been and is happening within us and around us. If there is one thing to dedicate ourselves to mastering, it’s change. 

Go All the Way

Go all the way with change. What does that mean? It means: CHANGE. Don’t compromise. Adapt. Renew. Restart. Be Different. Let the world be Different. Let something be New. 

Apart from the fact that, before it happens anywhere else, change happens within us, it seems to be an invader to our domain of comfort. So, while our cells are sloughing off, dying and being reborn; while our bodies and minds are growing and adapting to the natural evolution of humanhood, we are busy avoiding change like the Plague.

We first notice change when it happens outside of us. That’s where we first learn how to deal with it. Dealing with it means either (a) facing it or (b) running from it (including behaving like the proverbial ostrich with its’ head in the sand, ignoring or trying to escape it). In either case, we learn we will survive. Eventually, when we choose – or are forced to choose - the option to face change, we often learn, surprisingly, it is change that has opened the door for us to thrive. 

The Human Being is Engineered for Change

From the change that happens outside of ourselves we learn to develop endurance. We learn what sticktoitiveness and grit have to offer. Change gives us the chance to hold fast to what is important, to let go of what we can do without. As we abide change, we find it demands that we are creative and gives us license to be innovative and original. It helps us experience the multidimensional world of possibilities where there is room for - and a great big welcome to – our imaginations to redefine and reshape our reality and experience. And, whether we have faced change or acted like it isn’t happening, we are still thrust into the fray. Change is an endurance sport for each and every person; one that requires we enhance our physical, mental, physiological, emotional and spiritual conditioning to navigate the trail. It is there to show us, whether we are passive or active, how we impact the world.  It is there, in fact, to give us something to live for.

Super Challenge: Initiating Change

For the few people who have the sense that change has been a gift, dread about future change diminishes and moves to the background. Confidence develops. That mettle is what helps us step up to become the person who initiates change. Imagine that! How common do you think that is? Research tells us somewhere between 1 – 10% of people will initiate change. It’s intimidating to be in that position. Those who initiate change might be lucky enough to be perceived as fearless or courageous, but, more likely rule-breaking, risk-taking or defiant by those who resist change; maybe even as sinful or stupid. Initiating change requires a whole new level of self assurance and self-awareness and trust that, somewhere within the infinite variety of outcomes, the change we are working towards will be a recognizable contribution.  

Confidence develops, too, after we face the two scariest questions: ‘What if it’s not as good an outcome as I intend?’ and ‘Will I still be necessary when things are different?’ Questions born of fear of failure and loss are doubts that enter the minds of even the most confident innovators. 

Once change has happened and something is different, it’s not unusual that we hit a rough patch. As if the self-doubt during change is not enough torture, there is the after-change discomfort of seeing that, even after change there are still problems! Oh, this is a dangerous time when cynicism overtakes even the best of us. After all, what’s the use (of change) if everything stays the same??? 

I have heard the most bitter poison come out of the mouths of people who have resented the fact that change did not change anything. The riddle of ‘The more things change the more they stay the same’ can twist anyone’s fingers into knots and lock the jaw of even the wisest optimist. But, let’s be honest. We are not here to change the world. The world is here to change us. 

Change is a tool for humans; that’s all. We have the opportunity to become our most empowered selves through change. Apart from the attributes we develop, like confidence and self-awareness, or the abilities of endurance or holding fast, or the satisfactions of being creative and contributing to the world, or the characteristics of leadership, change is what teaches us that we have a constant presence even in the midst of what is not constant. Out of the ashes of change rises a Phoenix. The renewal of the self comes from nothing but change.  

If you don't do it for yourself today, I will do it for you: Thanks. Thank you for all the changes you have handled, suffered, enjoyed, endured. Thanks for hanging in there; for making it happen. Together, our changes have been shaping our world, and I am glad to be here.